


In the Aftermath

by xxMad_Donaxx



Series: Aftermath [2]
Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Post Game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-25
Updated: 2014-04-13
Packaged: 2017-12-21 08:24:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 34
Words: 56,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/898097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxMad_Donaxx/pseuds/xxMad_Donaxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sequel to "Learning to See". Blind Anders enlists Hawke's aid to carry out the Chantry's destruction. This explores what happens after Kirkwall is left behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm doing it again I know. Too many WIP's but I've been thinking about this a lot lately. I guess my muse really is sort of fickle. =/

The strongest scent in the air was smoke from burning debris and fires that had been set or left unattended in the wake of the Chantry’s destruction. The smell was so strong it almost blotted out the people around him. The only sounds he paid attention to were boots hitting stone pavement. Anders clung desperately to Hawke as they ran from the Gallows, confused and disoriented.

Hawke hadn’t followed the plan. This atrocity was supposed to have been placed squarely on Anders’ shoulders. He was to take the blame while Hawke claimed ignorance. In front of both the Knight-Commander and First Enchanter Hawke had admitted to prior knowledge of the bomb. He had even admitted that he’d helped make the blighted thing before spitting on Meredith’s boots when she demanded his help with the Rite of Annulment.

Anders had been reeling even then, the sounds and smells around him already much more than he’d expected. Everyone had been stunned but none more so than Fenris and Sebastian. The Brother had reacted first. Anders didn’t know what he did; no one had had time to tell him yet. There was a brief shouting match before Sebastian left, promising to find them both and bring justice for Grand Cleric Elthina.

Fenris was understandably furious with both of them. Heated words were exchanged between him and Hawke. For whatever reason the warrior had gone with to save as many mages in the Gallows as they could as had the rest of Hawke’s companions. The elf hadn’t spoken to either of them since the frantic chase through Lowtown to the docks.

Battling alongside Hawke, depending on him almost entirely to direct his spells. They went through Lowtown to the Docks and into the Gallows. A good many mages were directed out through the underground tunnels that led to Darktown. Quite a few stayed to help fight however most were cut down. Meredith was fought after they had destroyed the monster Orsino had turned into. In the Gallows courtyard, where the final confrontation took place, it was discovered that she had bought the idol from Bartrand. It had driven her mad, perhaps more so than she already was.

Elthina was gone, Orsino was gone, Meredith was gone and they would be soon as well. He could smell Fenris through the smoke, knew he was close by as they fled the Gallows. Hawke hadn’t let Anders out of arms reach throughout the whole ordeal. This night was a horrifying haze to Anders. He didn’t know where he was being led, hadn’t expected to be alive for escape to matter. Hawke had obviously made a few plans of his own.

Anders stumbled on an unseen obstacle as the foot falls in front of him changed from stone to wood. Hawke pulled him along, keeping him upright as they ran. Their path sloped upwards slightly and things became more confusing. Isabela shouting orders, the sounds of running everywhere and other sounds he was unfamiliar with. He followed Hawke blindly, almost not caring where he ended up.

The sounds were muffled suddenly as he was led through a door. “This is Isabela’s cabin,” Hawke said sounding slightly winded. “Stay in here until we’re out on the ocean. I’m going to see if there’s anything I can do to help get us out of here quicker.”

His hand was placed onto the back of what he assumed was a chair. Anders nodded and Hawke’s footsteps were getting further away until they stopped suddenly.

“No,” Hawke said firmly. “You’re not staying in here.”

Anders turned his head slightly, listening intently as he stood still. The ship rocked gently underneath his feet, creating uncertainty and he gripped the chair tighter. The soft rumble he’d expected came from the direction Hawke had gone in and his heart constricted in his chest.

“I don’t trust you right now,” Hawke said almost angrily. “I appreciate your help out there but I’m not leaving you alone with him.”

“Please Fenris,” Anders said into the silence that followed. “Go calm down. You’ll get your answers.”

“When you’re not so ready to kill us both,” Hawke added.

He sighed heavily after they had left without another word spoken. The door was shut and he was alone. Anders listened to the muffled shouting outside for a while, not moving from his position. The rocking of the ship increased also increasing the disconcerting feeling of unsteadiness. Pulling his staff he cautiously let go of the chair. He took small steps while he looked for whatever passed for a bed.

Finding it at the very back of the room, Anders sat and sighed again. There was nothing he could do to help. On deck he would be nothing but a burden. He wouldn’t even be able to stay out of everyone’s way. So he set his staff on the bed behind him and pulled his boots off. After shrugging out of his coat and leaving it on the floor by his boots, he curled up on the bed facing away from the door.

The bedding was soft and felt like satin. There might have been enough room for two people if one didn’t mind cuddling. Nothing smelled right, the sounds were unfamiliar and he gripped his staff in one hand tightly. The movement of the ship that had been so unnerving while he stood became soothing.

**Anders…**

Shut up, Justice.

It was nothing short of a miracle, but Justice became blessedly silent for the first time in a long while. Anders drifted to sleep eventually, doing his best to not think of anything.

Days passed before he ventured out of the cabin. A hammock had been strung up for him so that Hawke and Isabela could have the bed. The two rogues seemed to be the only people allowed in. Even so Anders spoke little with them. Besides the unsettling motion of the ship beneath his feet, he was a little scared to confront everyone else. Isabela didn’t seem to care one way or the other but then she never had. Anders was a bit angry with Hawke for putting a noose around his own neck as well.

It was dark when he did finally venture out. His blindfold was sitting around his neck and his staff to his back. He ran his hand along the surface of the wall beside him, taking small steps in case there was something ahead of him. The deck rolled under him and he listened to the waves crashing against the side of the ship. The air smelled surprisingly fresh and he turned into the breeze, closing his eyes.

He frowned and leaned back against the outside wall of Isabela’s cabin. Anders had spent over a year living with Fenris. The elf was very quiet when he wanted to be but he couldn’t hide the smell of the lyrium in his skin. Things had been very tense between them before their last night in Kirkwall. In many ways he’d already mourned the loss of their relationship but he wondered if there was any hope of reconciliation. Fenris had helped even though he’d told Hawke it was a mistake.

Anders remained where he was, waiting for the elf to say something. When the silence became too much he opened his eyes and looked in the direction he thought Fenris was. “Are you going to say something or just stand there?” he asked.

“Is that what you’ve been doing all this time with Hawke?” Fenris said. His voice was amazingly flat.

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“Because it needed to be done.”

“Why the Chantry?”

“It’s their policies that turn everyone else against people like me,” Anders said bitterly as he tried to keep from yelling. “Meredith was barking mad and that old biddy was content to let her do whatever she fucking wanted. How many harrowed mages were made Tranquil like Karl? How many young mages did those bastards visit every night? How many in the Gallows turned to blood magic simply because they were falsely accused of it? They had no recourse, no one to turn to. The people who supposedly protected them were the worst of their abusers _and absolutely no one cared._ ”

“You would turn the rest of Thedas into Tevinter for your lack of patience?” Fenris growled furiously. “I trusted you! You made me…”

“If you’re going to throw me over board just do it already,” Anders interrupted coldly. “I obviously didn’t change your mind all that much if you think that’s what I want.” He waited for a moment, honestly not caring one way or the other. When nothing more happened Anders turned away from him. “Leave me alone.”

Sinking down to sit on the deck after Fenris had left, noisier than he’d approached, Anders sighed heavily. He pressed the heels of his hands to his useless eyes, trying not to think. Moments later he heard the door open not too far away and felt someone near him.

“Go away Hawke,” he said wearily.

“That’s the first time I’ve seen you get it wrong,” Isabela said quietly.

“Sorry, go away Isabela,” Anders corrected. He let his hands drop to his lap and thumped his head lightly on the wall when she didn’t leave. “I’m not exactly good company right now and I’d rather be alone.”

“You haven’t been good company for months,” she said dismissively as she settled down next to him. “Neither has Hawke or Fenris.”

“If you’re going to yell at me too would you at least wait until morning?” asked Anders tiredly without looking at her.

“I’m not going to yell,” Isabela said bumping his shoulder. “He’s watching us you know. Your intensely broody elf.”

“Not my elf…not anymore,” said Anders shaking his head sadly.

“You can’t see the look on his face, sweet thing,” Isabela said sounding extremely amused.

“I don’t need to,” he said bitterly. “I’ve been the object of his hatred for years.”

“He’s jealous Anders,” said Isabela in an unusually serious tone of voice. “Hurt and angry too but mostly what I see is jealousy. He stands outside the door and won’t let anyone in except Hawke and me but he won’t set foot in there himself either. And since I brought him up, you really need to stop snubbing Hawke.”

“I…what?” Anders said feeling confused. He didn’t know what to think about what she claimed Fenris did but he wasn’t aware that Hawke thought he was being ignored. “I haven’t been…”

“Why else did he send me out here?” Isabela interrupted dryly.

“Andraste’s flaming knickers,” Anders muttered thumping his head on the wall again. “What a mess.”

“It certainly is,” said Isabela cheerfully. “You’ll have plenty of time to patch things up with both of them. For now, you should probably go back inside.”

“I don’t want to,” said Anders stubbornly.

“All right,” she said indifferently. “Don’t fall asleep out here though. If you go over Fenris will probably throw me in after you.”

Anders sighed after she had left. He closed his eyes and tried to empty his mind. They were heading for Denerim and there would be at least another week and a half to two weeks on the ship. Apologizing to Hawke and explaining why he’d become uncommunicative wouldn’t be a problem. It was Fenris he wasn’t sure about.


	2. Chapter 2

Fenris had known that Anders was spending an inordinate amount of time with Hawke over the last few months. When confronted they had both told him that they were doing research. On what, neither of them ever said. Fenris was glad that his fears of unfaithfulness were wrong but he could never have guessed that his lover and his best friend were planning to destroy the Chantry.

Even though he was furious, Fenris couldn’t deny anything Anders had just told him. It made his blood run cold to think of those things happening to his mage but there had to have been a better solution. Such destruction was hardly the best way to prove that some mages deserved their freedom. Anders seemed to be ignoring the simple fact that not all mages could be trusted.

He growled softly in annoyance as he leaned on the railing. His thoughts had been running in aggravating circles since the sky had turned a horrific shade of pink over Kirkwall. Fenris watched, wishing there was something on board he could destroy, and couldn’t help a brief feral smile when the pirate was sent away as well. Anders remained seated as Isabela disappeared into her cabin and Fenris continued to watch.

His cold dismissal had stung but Fenris grudgingly accepted that he had probably deserved it. Throughout their many long conversations he knew that Anders didn’t want the sort of corruption and injustice of Tevinter. Trading one extreme for the other would simply change which groups were oppressed but Fenris could see no other outcome from such horrific actions. He truly hoped he was wrong.

Hawke’s involvement in the whole thing was also very puzzling. He had as many reasons to hate mages as Fenris himself. His mother, his sister had been kidnapped by blood mages, the sheer number of blood mages that had accosted them over the years. Surely the rogue understood the danger he’d helped put Thedas into. Hawke had always been more than sympathetic to the mage cause but he was also level headed. Fenris just didn’t understand but he wanted to. He would speak with Hawke but only when he could keep his temper in check.

Anders frowned suddenly and turned to put his ear to the wall beside him. He grimaced as he stood, moving carefully away from the cabin across the deck of the ship to the railing on the opposite side. Fenris crossed swiftly and silently edging closer until he was positive that he could prevent the mage from going overboard if something unexpected happened. He watched as Anders turned his head slightly, nostrils flaring. Fenris didn’t see any sort of acknowledgment before his sightless eyes turned back to the sea but he was positive Anders knew he was there.

Isabela had without a doubt taken advantage of the mage’s absence. Fenris wished for nothing more than to follow her example. There was a pallet below deck for him but he hadn’t used it once. He had spent every night so far sleeping next to the door that separated him from his mage. Waking without Anders next to him had been lonely. Until the wedge that had been driven between them could be removed, Fenris would have to be content to watch.

He watched until the mage made his way back to the cabin door, feeling along the wall until he found it. Fenris thought he looked slightly more relaxed than when he had finally left the safety of Isabela’s cabin. Without moving, he watched Anders put his ear to the door and listen. When he was satisfied that the pair of rogues inside were finished, his hand rested on the handle but he turned back towards the railing. Fenris let his markings flare briefly and the mage focused on him instantly. He looked sad more than anything else.

“Thank you for staying…for helping,” Anders said loud enough to be heard over the waves and the breeze. “It…means a lot to me.”

“You will not be rid of me so easily,” said Fenris trying to keep his voice light hearted. “You’re welcome.”

A very brief smile crossed his features before he disappeared back inside the cabin. Fenris turned to look out over the water, his feelings in turmoil. He stayed there for a while before taking his station next to the cabin door. Sitting with his legs crossed, sword across his lap, leaning against the wall, he closed his eyes to wait out another near sleepless night.

Fenris pondered what was to be done next as he waited to drift off. They were headed for Denerim at Aveline’s request. She hadn’t yet sent the King a response in regards to her reinstatement before they had had to leave Kirkwall in a rather large hurry. Her husband Donnic had been waiting for them at the docks and seemed to be content to follow where she led.

Aveline would probably be the first of their group to part company with Hawke. She was almost as angry as Fenris was. Hawke and Aveline had always been rather close having fled Ferelden together. They seemed to be like family but it was very clear that Hawke wasn’t going to turn himself in to anyone for his actions in Kirkwall and that didn’t set well with the former Guard Captain. It wouldn’t surprise Fenris at all if Hawke convinced Isabela to help the mages somehow in the revolution that was surely coming.

Neither Anders nor Hawke would ever be completely safe. Besides Sebastian’s threat, they would both be hunted by Templars. The rogue would be safe enough with Isabela on the Waking Sea no matter what they chose to do from this point forward. That Hawke also seemed willing to protect Anders was something he was grateful for but Fenris had no wish to live as a pirate. It made more sense for them to go their separate ways in the long run because Sebastian would have to split his resources to find them both.

Anders’ intentions from this point were still very unclear. It wouldn’t surprise Fenris at all if he wanted to help spur on this revolution he’d started. Fenris also found it unsurprising that he would have followed the mage, protesting his foolish actions, but helping because he knew change was necessary. He would have followed willingly if the mage could still see.

Even without his sight, Fenris knew Anders was far from helpless. Hawke’s diligence and the mage’s stubbornness had made sure of that. Their close group had adapted to the mage’s handicap and his necessarily different style. He had defeated many attackers that had broken through the group’s defenses. Without the group however, Anders would have no one to cast his augmentation spells on. There would also be no one near him who could direct his ranged elemental magic as Hawke did. Aveline’s imminent departure didn’t herald the end of Hawke’s group of eclectic friends but there were also no guarantees that they would remain together either.

There were many reasons for Fenris to take the mage and flee somewhere. Sebastian and his ability to fight and defend himself were simply the biggest. They could remain with Hawke and Isabela, hiding on the open waters, but Fenris suspected Anders didn’t want to any more than he did. He could see it in the way the mage had gripped the rail, how he’d leaned on the wall and sat soon after sending him away. Even sequestering himself in the cabin the way he did had spoken volumes to Fenris. It was likely the same thing that disturbed him, the constant sway and rock of the ship on the waves.

Fenris had never liked the unpredictable nature of travel by sea. Bandits and Qunari were predictable foes that could be dealt with in a manner he was proficient with. One couldn’t fight sudden storms or wind and waves that knocked ships about almost carelessly. Some, like Isabela, thrived on such unpredictability but Fenris preferred to take no chances. It’s why he’d crossed from the northern coast of Tevinter to Kirkwall overland.

He found that wandering aimlessly throughout Ferelden held little appeal to him however. Even though it was probably the safest place for them there would still be much danger. Cutpurses and common thugs were a hazard everywhere but opportunists would become a big problem. If they remained in one place for too long someone would offer them up to any pursuers for a handful of coin. Templars would be the greatest threat of course.

News of the events at Kirkwall would spread like a wildfire as would the descriptions of the Champion’s companions. Because Ferelden’s King was a known mage sympathizer it might be possible to plead for asylum. There were no guarantees that Anders wouldn’t be handed over to Chantry officials however.

He wondered if it were possible to find shelter with the Grey Wardens. They were affiliated with no other organization and didn’t bow to any one authority except their own. When they had run into the Warden Anders knew in the Deep Roads recently there hadn’t seemed to be any antagonism between them. Nathaniel Howe wasn’t the reason he’d fled however. Fenris decided that he would make inquiries about who the Warden Commander was before actually considering it.

Fenris sighed heavily and closed his eyes. None of this would matter if they couldn’t figure out how to speak to each other again.


	3. Chapter 3

After a fitful night’s sleep, Anders lay in the hammock on his side tracing the strange mesh fabric. His eyes were only partially opened but Hawke was still asleep and Isabela had left a while ago. He listened to Hawke’s steady breathing and let his thoughts drift. Both of his brief conversations with Fenris last night had left him a little confused.

At first it seemed that the elf had just been angry and hateful, like he’d been to start with. Isabela had left him slightly hopeful that things could be mended between them. Fenris standing near him at the rail was very comforting. There was such a difference between the first conversation and the last however. The more he thought about Fenris’ tone when he’d spoken the second time, cautious and affectionate, versus their first conversation, flat then furious, it left him puzzled.

Anders sighed and pushed away his thoughts about Fenris for the moment. He sat up in the hammock, eyes opening fully. There was someone he needed to speak with first before he even tried to deal with the elf. With Isabela gone, now was a perfect opportunity.

“Hawke,” he said loudly. The rogue snorted briefly then continued the steady breathing Anders had been listening to since he’d woken up. “Hawke!”

“Morning already,” Hawke groaned softly.

“I think so,” Anders said swinging his legs over the edge of the hammock. “I’m sorry for waking you but…I think we need to talk.”

He listened to Hawke yawn before he replied. “What’s so important that it couldn’t wait ten or twenty more minutes?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you,” Anders said mildly. “I’m a little confused…why did you do it? I couldn’t have done it without your help but do you realize how much danger you’ve put yourself in?”

“I do,” Hawke replied after a moment of silence. He sounded more aware than he had before. “I wasn’t about to let you die or shoulder it alone.”

“You had a home, you were respected…a life…why?”

“Kirkwall was never _my_ home,” Hawke said bitterly. “The blight took my home. Then it took my brother and then my sister. If they respected me then that ridiculous statue at the docks wouldn’t look like a bloody Templar. My status couldn’t help any of the mages in the Gallows…Maker knows I tried hard enough.”

Anders remained quiet when Hawke fell silent, listening to the soft rustle of fabric. He knew Hawke had done everything he could think of to try and make their lives tolerable at least. Much like himself, the rogue had been blocked at every turn.

“It makes me heartsick to think of all the people who died that didn’t deserve it,” Hawke said, sorrow clear in his voice.

“Me too,” Anders said softly. He had known innocents would die but if there was a different solution, he couldn’t think of it. Fenris’ angry words came back to him in a rush and he looked down into his lap. “Did we do the right thing?”

“I don’t know,” Hawke said crossing the distance between them. “People will have to listen now. They won’t be able to ignore what mages suffer anymore.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so quiet lately,” said Anders holding out his hand. “I just…it’s overwhelming. I didn’t expect it to be quite so bad, didn’t want you to ruin what you’d built for yourself.”

“You asked for my help,” Hawke said clasping his wrist. “And I gave it because I wanted to. Every child should know their parents and every mage should have the right to love their children.”

“You’re a good man Hawke,” said Anders closing his fingers around the other man’s wrist. “I’m glad I met you.”

“Maybe you can help me convince Aveline of that,” said Hawke lightly. “I don’t think she’s ever been quite so furious with me.”

“I think you’d have better luck asking for Fenris’ help with that,” Anders said smiling. “We’ve never gotten along with each other all that well.”

“She may not have liked you but I think she respected you,” Hawke said pulling Anders to his feet. “Come to the galley with me this morning, the fresh air will do you some good.”

“All right,” replied Anders feeling slightly better than he had.

For the next few days Anders spent more time on deck than he had been previously. He was almost used to the movement of the ship but still found it difficult to stay out of the sailor’s way. Anders had managed to repair his friendship with Varric. The others had never exactly liked him to begin with but they all seemed content to at least tolerate his presence.

Besides those first two conversations, Fenris hadn’t spoken with him. He knew the elf and Hawke had talked at length but he seemed content to stay near Anders when he was on deck. His nearness was comforting even though no more words had been exchanged between them. Anders wasn’t quite sure what to say to him. He knew Hawke had also been speaking with everyone else as well. It wasn’t surprising to Anders that he was forgiven so easily.

After Aveline and Donnic were dropped off in Denerim they had plans to restock their supplies. Their next destination was Antiva. Hawke was planning to remain with Isabela and both had told him that he was welcome aboard for as long as he wanted. Anders had spent long hours thinking about what he should do next.

It was possible that he could remain on board, seeing to the health of Isabela’s crew as he’d been doing the last couple of days. He wasn’t very keen on the idea however. Anders longed for a surface beneath his feet that didn’t move. Fenris hadn’t mentioned any plans to anyone else that he’d heard but the others planned to remain with Hawke.

His other options were to either stay in Ferelden or travel to a different country, preferably not by ship. Having decided that it was best to lay low for a while, Anders was seriously considering staying in Ferelden. The country was full of unpopulated or sparsely populated areas that would be easy to disappear into. Anders wasn’t entirely sure his wilderness skills would be up to the task however. It had been a long time since he’d had to trap a rabbit or flash fry a pheasant. The last time had been before the Wardens, when he could still see.

It would be easy enough to pick one of the smaller towns and open a clinic. He didn’t have to use his magic. Many things could be cured without it and he knew a lot of different techniques. Charging people a pittance would keep him from going hungry and he would hear the latest rumors that way as well.

**I still do not care for hiding, but this is a good plan.**

I’m not sure what I could do to help the mages now. Hawke will continue. Our best course of action is to make sure we don’t get caught so that maybe we can help later.

**Will Fenris agree to join us?**

I hope so.

Anders spent the better part of a week trying to work up the courage to ask Fenris to stay with him at least. He still hadn’t managed it and Denerim was in sight on the horizon. They had spoken, stiff small talk and uncomfortable avoidance was all they had managed however. The recent storm that had kept him inside Isabela’s cabin hadn’t helped in the slightest. Fenris still refused to go in.

The water was still rough though the worst of the storm had passed. Anders braved being on deck in the evening, even though it would probably be better to stay inside. The cabin was becoming oppressive and he longed for fresh air. Fenris was near though he hadn’t spoke as Anders gripped the railing tightly.

“Fenris?” Anders said hesitantly.

“Yes?” he answered from not very far away.

Anders turned to face him, keeping his grip on the railing. “I’m thinking of staying in Ferelden. Will you…will you stay with Hawke?”

Before Fenris could answer, the ship lurched suddenly. Anders held tight to the railing as the elf was thrown into him but there was a loud crack and they were falling. Shouts followed them down and Anders felt panic rise as he hit the water below with a stinging smack before plunging below the surface. Flailing trying to find anything that would tell him which direction the surface of the water was in, his panic rose the longer he found nothing.

His lungs burned for air when he felt a solid grip on his wrist. Anders grasped Fenris’ wrist quickly, ignoring the sharp points on his gauntlets. Anders kicked in the direction he was being pulled and they both broke the surface with huge gasping breaths. They bobbed in the water both having trouble in the choppy seas.

Anders kept his grip on Fenris as a rope was thrown to them. He had no idea how long it took but they were pulled around and climbed up a rope ladder that was thrown down for them. When they were both back on deck someone escorted them inside somewhere but Anders was too shaken to figure out anything else. Standing just inside as a door shut behind him, muffling shouted orders, Anders felt arms wrap around him from behind. They stood there dripping wet and coughing up swallowed sea water.

“I will follow you,” Fenris said his voice soft and slightly hoarse. “As long as you stay on dry land.”

“Deal,” Anders said wearily leaning back against him slightly.


	4. Chapter 4

The door opened behind them and Anders felt Fenris let go of him as he turned. He took a few steps forward only half listening to Varric and Fenris speaking. All he could smell were the wet feathers at his shoulders and he began working the buckles on his coat. Looking around the room quickly he saw three points of light, likely two lanterns on the wall and a portable lantern on the table.

His coat and pauldrons fell to the floor with a wet plop and he carefully made his way to the table pulling his shirt off as he went. Anders was beginning to shiver from his dunk in the sea and the chilly air afterwards. He noticed that the blindfold was missing but dismissed it as he pulled the laces on his trousers with one hand and felt for the chair with the other. After finding the chair, with Varric and Fenris still talking at the door, Anders peeled the wet material down to his boots and sat.

He worked the buckles of his boots with shaking hands and pulled them off as quickly as he could. His pants and small clothes ended up in a wet heap on top of his boots. The door finally shut and he could hear Fenris grumbling as he approached. Anders stood again now shivering so hard his teeth began chattering.

“Must you expose yourself to everyone?” Fenris said in irritation.

Anders ignored the comment as well as how steady he sounded. He couldn’t imagine why he couldn’t hear the elf’s teeth chattering but knew he was likely as cold as he was. Stepping forward to close the distance, he worked familiar catches on Fenris’ armor with shaking hands.

“What are you doing?” asked Fenris indignantly knocking his hands away.

“G-g-get these off-f-f…n-n-now,” Anders said completely undeterred.

Fenris stopped fighting him and began helping. Pieces of armor dropped to the floor followed by his tunic. Together they peeled his leather undershirt off and Anders left him to work off his leggings. Instead Anders moved past the table to his hammock and pulled off the blanket. He balled it up and tossed it in Fenris’ general direction then found Isabela’s bed. Sitting at the edge, Anders pulled blanket and sheets up and around him.

Scooting backwards, Anders crossed his legs and tucked the sheets over his lap and under his thighs. With the blanket wrapped around his torso he sat there and shivered. He wasn’t sure where Fenris was at, only that he hadn’t left. The dominating smell in the room was still wet feathers and it masked his lyrium fairly well.

Warming up would take less time if they shared what body heat they had left. Anders wasn’t about to suggest it however. He’d already gotten more than the rift between them had allowed previously. It was enough for now that Fenris would travel with him.

*

Fenris sat in the chair wrapped up in the blanket that Anders had tossed to him. He watched the mage cocoon himself in blankets, wet hair plastered to his head and he shoved his own wet locks back off of his face. Their shivering slowly ceased and Anders yawned before lying on the bed curled up as tight as he could get, still wrapped up in the blanket. Neither of them had spoken a word to each other since Anders’ stuttered command to strip. Fenris was grateful for the command because he hadn’t realized how cold he was until he was mostly bare.

He sighed quietly as he waited for Anders to fall deeper into sleep. When he was positive that he wouldn’t wake the mage, he moved around the room laying out clothes so that they would dry properly. Fenris grunted softly at the horrible smell coming from Anders’ pauldrons. The coat ended up on a handy peg by the door and the feathers went outside.

His armor was set out on the table and he sat wiping the pieces dry with a cloth he’d found. Anders slept on, uncurling eventually and ending up in a familiar sprawl. Fenris wanted to lay behind him but didn’t dare. The embrace that he couldn’t have prevented even if he’d wanted to, had been received well but he wasn’t going to push his luck.

Fenris sat and watched him sleep for a while longer, glad that he hadn’t lost the mage entirely. Neither had been prepared for the large swell that had thrown him into the mage. They might not have gone into the water if the railing hadn’t snapped. It hadn’t been a very long fall to the water but Fenris had sunk deeper. He’d had to get rid of his sword to make any progress back to the surface however. Anders had also lost his weapon to the sea and that concerned him.

Varric had told him, after ascertaining that they were both all right, that Isabela wouldn’t bother them until morning. They should be in Denerim by mid-morning and both he and Anders would be off of the ship soon after Isabela docked. She would remain for a while so that the ship could be gone through thoroughly. Any damaged or weakened places, like the railing they had fallen through, would be repaired before getting underway again.

He stood slowly, adjusting the blanket around his shoulders and moved quietly around the room putting out the lanterns. When they were out, Fenris climbed awkwardly onto the hammock the blanket had come from. It rocked with the motion of the ship as he made himself comfortable. They would have to discuss where to go, obtain new weapons and supplies for traveling. He’d already asked Varric to find out the identity of Ferelden’s Warden Commander. For now, he was very tired.

Isabela’s voice pulled him from sleep sometime later. “How disappointing.”

Fenris grunted but remained where he was. Anders, his voice still full of sleep but extremely grumpy, said, “What were you expecting?”

“I was hoping to find you both on the bed,” Isabela said as she kicked the door shut behind her. “All cuddled together, keeping each other warm.”

“That’s what blankets are for,” Fenris mumbled irritably. “I would appreciate no further intrusions into our private matters.”

“Your loss,” she said with a smirk and a shrug. Isabela deposited a bundle of clothing onto the table. “Got some dry stuff for you to wear.”

“And what’s wrong with the clothes we were wearing yesterday?” Anders asked sitting up.

“You want to stay hidden right?” Isabela said turning back to the door. “Clothes that scream apostate and, I was a slave I hate you all, aren’t the best choices.” She turned briefly with her hand on the door handle. “Especially not with rumors likely running wild about what happened in Kirkwall. There’s a kerchief in there to tie around your eyes too. I imagine most of the people here have lost someone to the blight.”

“Thank you Isabela,” Fenris said as he sat. “But dressing different won’t help me very much.” He didn’t like the idea of not wearing his armor, especially not when the markings could identify him just as well or better than the distinctive attire.

“Get a cloak,” said Isabela said very seriously. “It’s early spring. You won’t look out of place. And try not to be so…glowy all the time. A friend of mine would also advise dying your hair a different color. You’d be surprised at how different it can make you look. Are you sure you wouldn’t rather stay on board? Antiva’s nice this time of year.”

“Thanks but no,” Anders said shaking his head. “I want to have something under my feet that won’t drown me.”

Isabela smiled and nodded. “Hawke thought you’d say something like that. He’ll be waiting just outside when you’re ready.”

Fenris waited until the door was shut behind her before climbing out of the hammock. He tucked the blanket around his waist and sifted through the clothes. They were simple trousers and shirts that looked like things Hawke wore. He wondered if the rogue had planned their hasty exit. Picking out a dark pair of pants and a red shirt, he grabbed the green scarf and turned to Anders and stopped. He was sitting on the bed with his legs crossed and the blankets puddled around his waist. His head was cocked to one side with a small frown. One of his hands was running along the other.

“What are you doing?” Fenris asked curiously.

“I think I have splinters,” Anders said slowly. “From the railing. I can sort of feel them but…” He made a frustrated noise and his hands dropped to his lap. “I can’t seem to get them out.”

“May I?” said Fenris sitting next to him on the bed.

Anders held his hands out wordlessly and he set the bundle of clothes down in front of him. Fenris could see several in each hand and began working them out. Most of them were easily pushed out with his fingernails but a couple of the deeper ones were proving to be stubborn. Instead of using the tip of a knife or dagger, Fenris tried using his phasing abilities.

“That feels really weird,” Anders said softly.

“A conversation with Isabela a long time ago,” Fenris said. “It appears to work fine.” He inspected Anders’ hands carefully and let go as he looked up. “I don’t see any more of them.”

“Thank you,” said Anders smiling.

“You’re welcome,” Fenris said. “We should get dressed.” He took the clothes he’d brought over with him and placed them in Anders’ lap.

“My staff is gone isn’t it?” Anders said picking through the clothes.

“It is. My sword is gone as well,” said Fenris going over to the pile of clothes that were left.

“I need my smallclothes. Will you lead me until I get another one?”

“Of course,” Fenris said. He picked up the mage’s small clothes and his boots. The underwear was placed in his outstretched hand and the boots were dropped on the floor next to the bed.

“I know there’s a lot we need to talk about,” Anders said quietly. “I feel better knowing you’ll be with me though.”

“There will be plenty of time to talk later and…I’m glad you want me with you.”


	5. Chapter 5

Fenris had insisted on wearing his leggings and his leather undershirt. The metal pieces of his armor were wrapped in his tunic; the sharp gauntlets wrapped first in leather and then in Anders’ shirt and trousers, were stored in a pack. Anders’ coat and feathers were also folded neatly and stored in the same pack. The elf had grumbled loudly about wearing a shirt that was too big for his thin frame but Hawke assured him that they would stop at as many shops they needed to in order find some clothes that fit better.

Anders found it slightly amusing that he was complaining more about his overlarge shirt than about not having a sword. Personally, he found his own lack of weaponry to be very troubling. His staff had been much more than a simple weapon after he’d been blinded and he found the absence of one more like losing another of his senses. It wasn’t that he minded being led but more that he didn’t have the option to walk on his own.

Hawke had indeed planned for the need to escape quickly. The hold of Isabela’s ship was filled with objects that could be sold for a fair amount of coin from his estate as well as some supplies. When the ship was docked he led Anders and Fenris off with the intentions of selling a few things to get them completely set up for traveling. Neither of them protested having nothing of any real value and little of their own coin between them.

Aveline and Donnic both headed for the palace to seek an audience with the King. Before they left however they were given the name of an Inn where Hawke had rented out rooms for everyone. Varric left seeking rumors and Merrill stayed with Isabela at Hawke’s insistence. With their belongings stored in their room Anders followed behind, one hand resting on Fenris’ shoulder and listened to the activity around them.

There was the usual babble of large groups of people, the hum of conversation, children laughing, parents yelling, dogs barking. The sounds of construction could be heard the further into the city they went. Even though he could remember how Denerim had looked before the darkspawn had destroyed a good portion of it, he probably wouldn’t recognize much now.

The smell of the ocean gave way to unwashed bodies and surprisingly dogs. The Orlesian Commander that had replaced Neria Surana when she was sent on some errand or another had often complained that Ferelden smelled of wet dog. Anders, and every other Fereldan Warden, had always dismissed it. He was surprised now that Caron had been nearly correct and he had just never noticed it.

As they walked through the busy streets Anders could feel people brushing past him constantly. It was probably better being led here. He didn’t like the idea of hitting people with his staff. Judging from how many times he felt another shoulder bump his, it was almost inevitable. He still didn’t like not having the option however. When they reached the market Hawke found a deal he liked on the items he’d brought along after they visited a few shops. With a purse full of coin they set out to find some of the things they would need. A list had been made before they left the ship. The first merchant they found sold clothes. They left that shop with three sets of clothing for both of them, folded neatly into a pack that Anders had brought with.

The next shop they stopped at specialized in leather armor. Anders had grudgingly agreed to be fitted with a set. Fenris had brought up a good point when they had been discussing their list of needs. With only one elf between him and potential hordes of thugs, having armor might actually prevent him from being killed. As long as he could move freely to cast his spells he would get used to it. It also might give them a slight advantage in a fight. The enemy wouldn’t be expecting magic if he looked like a rogue.

Fenris was happier when they left that shop but Anders wasn’t. It felt strange wearing something that hugged his body after getting used to a simple shirt and his coat. The leg guards were completely unfamiliar and he found that the leather sometimes made a little creaking sound when he moved. That was going to take a lot of getting used to.

Lunch was eaten soon afterwards, sitting on the ground against a building close to the hawker selling meat pies. Finding Fenris a greatsword didn’t take long but they spent quite a bit of time looking for a staff. They finally stumbled across a shop that seemed to specialize in odd magical things. The selection of staves was limited but they left with one that had decent enchantments but wasn’t very flashy.

It was evening by the time they got back to the inn. Supper was eaten in the common room with Isabela and Merrill. Aveline and Donnic returned before they finished and reported that she hadn’t managed an audience with the King but had an audience with the commander of his troops in two days. Varric still hadn’t returned when Anders and Fenris retired to their room for the night.

Anders sighed heavily as he made his way to the only bed. The room was small but everyone had to share with someone else. With his new staff behind him lying across the bed, he began working on getting himself out of the armor.

“Maker,” he grumbled. “This is almost as complicated as the Tevinter robes I used to wear.”

Fenris snorted from across the room. “You should get used to sleeping in it.”

“Not until I have to,” said Anders as he made a pile near his feet. “I probably look ridiculous in it.”

“Not really,” said Fenris. The bed frame squeaked when he sat at the other end. “You look different but not bad.”

“Do you think we should dye our hair like Isabela suggested?” asked Anders wishing he had sat closer.

“I would prefer not to,” he said sounding repulsed. “I like the cloak idea better.”

Anders smiled as he pulled the kerchief down around his neck. “I didn’t like the idea much either. Knowing my luck my hair would turn green or some horrible shade of orange.”

Fenris chuckled and silence fell. Anders held in a sigh and pulled the leather from his short ponytail. There were many things that needed to be discussed but he simply didn’t know where to start. He was very glad that he wasn’t alone but didn’t know how to close the space that existed between them now. Deciding that he would leave the more complicated things for when they were truly alone he was about to ask if there was anywhere Fenris wanted to go in particular when there was a light knock on the door. Listening carefully as the elf spoke with Varric in hushed tones, he frowned at what he did hear.

“The Wardens Fenris?” he said still frowning when he heard the door shut.

“Are not an option,” Fenris said his voice carefully neutral. “The Warden Commander is still that Caron fellow.”

“I wouldn’t have agreed even if he wasn’t,” said Anders trying to keep a tight rein on his ire. “They sold me out.”

“The Wardens are beholden to no one,” said Fenris. “You speak of the first one with such respect and…fondness. I thought that if she was Commander we might find safety.”

Anders sighed again and scrubbed his face wearily. His reasoning made sense, it often did, but there was no way he’d agree to it. He hadn’t been safe in Vigil’s Keep after Neria had left. Caron had seen him as nothing but a murder and Justice was shunned. There were no guarantees that they wouldn’t just hand him over to Chantry officials anyway after they found out he was responsible for the destruction in Kirkwall. Wardens might not be under the rule of any one country but keeping good relations was important as well.

“I knew Neria from the Tower,” said Anders softly after Fenris had sat back down on the bed. “She hated it there almost as much as I did. Neria wouldn’t have allowed Rolan to dog me like he did but she’s disappeared. Caron didn’t defend me, allowed the Templars to watch me and didn’t much care that I was a Senior Warden. They’re people…with their own prejudices and fears. We’ll find no safety with them…especially after what I’ve done.”

“What of the Warden we saved in the Deep Roads?” Fenris asked quietly. “The one with Bethany? He seemed to like you well enough.”

“Nathaniel Howe,” he said smiling. “All of the Wardens Neria gathered were a little…off. I doubt Nathaniel would turn me into anyone. He’s probably still in the Free Marches though.”

“Where were you planning to go?” said Fenris after a brief pause.

“I was going to find a small village somewhere, use my healing skills to make a living. Move on after a while and start over somewhere else. Wait, listen to the rumors…maybe figure out how to help.”

“I hope you weren’t planning on using magic,” Fenris said. After a moment he added with a small amount of amusement, “And charging them something.”

“No magic,” he said seriously. “Something yes…but not much. Enough to get by on.”

“We’ll find a map tomorrow,” said Fenris contemplatively. There was a brief squeeze on his arm then the elf stood. “You may have the bed.”

“Where will you sleep?” Anders asked frowning slightly. “We’ll both fit on the bed.”

“Are you certain?” he asked sounding very unsure.

“I’m certain there’s no need for you to sleep on the floor,” Anders answered. “We’ve been sharing a bed for a long time now.”

“I don’t know,” said Fenris sounding embarrassed. “I might…get close during the night.”

“I’ve sort of missed that actually,” Anders said softly. “Nothing else needs to happen. We stay clothed and if we end up cuddling then…I won’t mind. I don’t want you to have to sleep on the floor or in a chair.”

“All right,” Fenris said after a moment. “We share the bed.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Might want a box of tissues handy...I needed one.

They did end up scooting together during the night. Anders lay unmoving, awake, hoping that Fenris would remain asleep a little longer. They were spooned together, a position they had often found themselves in. He was the little spoon this morning. There was breath on his neck, a hand on his shoulder, their bodies pressed together. It was comfortable and he had missed this immensely but he knew it wouldn’t last.

“Anders,” Fenris said quietly without moving.

“I’m awake,” he replied softly trying to hide his disappointment. The blankets were pulled down to his waist and Fenris disappeared. Anders didn’t move as the elf sat up then stood, just listened to him moving about the room.

“I wish to apologize for my hasty words on the ship,” said Fenris evenly. “I know what you wish for.”

“Then why did you say it?” Anders asked still without moving.

“I was angry. I see no other outcome from this violence,” Fenris said. It sounded like he was pacing the length of the small room.

“The Circle doesn’t work,” Anders sighed. So much for waiting, he thought bitterly.

“The Circle is _necessary_ ,” Fenris said passionately. “Not all mages can be trusted with freedom.”

“Who gets to decide Fenris,” said Anders starting to feel angry. “Not everyone with a sword can be either but they aren’t locked away until they’ve proven they can’t be trusted. Mages are taken without being given that chance.”

“We have been through this before,” Fenris growled in frustration.

“And we’ll never agree,” Anders said finally sitting up. “I understand your fears and I worry about it happening as well but I _can’t_ sit by and watch this anymore. We don’t deserve to be locked up and abused for something we _might_ do.”

“I know,” Fenris sighed. “We could argue for days about this and never come to an accord. That was only part of my anger. You were spending more time with Hawke than at home for weeks. I was afraid that…”

“We never lied to you,” Anders said softly when he stopped talking abruptly. “All that time was spent researching and building the explosive. Nothing else ever happened.”

“Hawke said as much.”

Silence fell and he listened to Fenris putting on the armor they’d bought yesterday. He wondered how many of their old arguments would be rehashed before they were comfortable with each other again. Anders held in a sigh, already missing the brief cuddling, and leaned over to find the pile of his armor. He sighed again as he felt the piece he’d picked up, and put one of the legs guards beside him on the bed.

“I’m sorry,” Anders said leaning over for another part of the armor. “I couldn’t tell you what we were doing.”

“I know,” he said. “I would have stopped you. It still hurt.”

Anders winced, his gaze directed at the floor, at his deadpan certainty. Setting the other leg guard on the bed, he leaned over for the chest piece. “I guess we’re even then,” Anders said in the flattest voice he could.

Fenris was a silent presence on the other side of the room as Anders struggled with the various buckles and straps. “Do you require assistance?” he asked after a while.

“No,” Anders said shortly as he continued to try and put on the unfamiliar armor. It wasn’t until he heard the door shut behind Fenris that he gave up and flung all of it to the floor. Anders lay back down on the bed and rolled away from the door, wondering if there was any hope at all for him and Fenris.

*

“What happened?” Hawke said dropping down beside Fenris at the table. “He refuses to come out.”

“I apologized,” Fenris said looking down at his plate and pushing the egg around with his last piece of bacon.

“Somehow I don’t think that’s what has him so upset,” said Hawke leaning back in his chair.

Fenris studiously gazed at his plate and ignored all of his companions. He knew the mage was upset. He thought he knew what had upset him. It was still none of their business. There was an annoyed huff beside him and a quick look through the hair that partially covered his face revealed the others were also busy examining their own breakfast.

The tension was thick as they finished their food in silence. Aveline and Donnic were the first to leave followed by Isabela and Merrill. Fenris remained seated at the table by himself while Hawke took Varric aside. They talked quietly for a moment and Varric disappeared up the stairs with a plate. The common room was empty now save for them and Hawke stood next to him with his arms crossed over his chest.

“Come on,” Hawke said. “We still need to get you two supplies.”

Reluctantly Fenris stood and followed him out the door. He was surprised but Hawke didn’t mention Anders once while they were in the market. The rogue did seem a little distant however but that didn’t bother him much. Fenris was thinking of the days to come when he and Anders wouldn’t be able to avoid each other.

The streets were as crowded as they were the previous day and Fenris was a little glad that Anders had remained in their room. He wasn’t happy about why the mage had refused to leave. It was an old argument. One that had been done over and over again with both of them conceding little. Fenris accepted that some mages could be trusted but there were far too many like Danarius or the madman that killed Hawke’s mother. He didn’t think it was this that had turned Anders cold again.

Fenris knew what the Gallows mages suffered. There were days without end that he imagined his mage in that terrible place. If he had known what Hawke and Anders were doing all those nights he still would have prevented them from finishing it. Between them, they had both taught Fenris that all mages weren’t power hungry. Surely there was a better solution than proving Templars were justified in their fears.

Instead of dwelling on what couldn’t be changed, he began thinking of how they could change people’s minds now. If Anders could change his opinion then it should be possible to convince others as well. Even if the public’s opinion could become tolerant of mages it would not diminish the need for the Circles.

The question Anders had asked him kept returning to him throughout the day. Who would decide? Fenris knew firsthand the folly of allowing mages to police themselves. Kirkwall was a prime example of how that much power should never be given to one person. An answer kept eluding him. He decided that he wouldn’t broach the subject of Circles again until he had one. It hadn’t been pointless arguments that closed the distance between them the first time and now he thought that their quarrelling would only widen the gap.

They were headed back to the Inn with their purchases when Hawke finally broke his silence about the mage. “I thought you were both past this,” he said without looking at Fenris. When he didn’t respond Hawke continued. “You and Anders haven’t been this short with each other for years. I know you’re going to tell me to butt out but before I do I’m going to tell you something. I was supposed to play stupid and let him take the fall. He fully expected to die for it, completely positive that you’d kill him or he’d die in the fighting.”

Fenris stopped, completely stunned and said, “I was furious but…”

“You’d never kill him?” Hawke interrupted turning to face him. “Fenris, I’m still not positive you won’t kill me.” He turned around after a moment, his expression a mix of disgust and sadness and walked calmly away.

“I would have stopped you,” Fenris murmured. He sighed, wondering if he’d killed any chance that might have remained for him and Anders.


	7. Chapter 7

Anders hadn’t set out to leave the city. After Varric had delivered him breakfast and helped him put on the infernal armor he’d gone for a walk. He’d wanted to be alone, try and clear his head. The dwarf had followed him for a while but Anders had managed to lose him and had lost himself in the process. Staying away from the sound of clanking armor, somehow he had ended up outside the city where he now sat leaning on a tree near the busy road.

From the sounds of people and wagons passing him by constantly, he was pretty sure the sun was still up but wasn’t sure for how much longer. Sitting here listening for someone familiar had allowed him some time to think. Anders was determined to fix things between him and Fenris somehow. It wasn’t just because he’d gotten hopelessly lost by himself either.

Both he and Hawke had known that Fenris would have prevented them from carrying out the plan. The confirmation had hurt but the elf’s actions didn’t agree with his initial assumption this morning. He now doubted that Fenris would have killed him to prevent the Chantry’s destruction. After all their conversations Anders knew that he was aware of what mages were subjected to on a regular basis. Since he’d been blinded Fenris had gone out of his way to help and protect him. On the ship, Fenris hadn’t dismissed his reasons.

He was willing to put himself in danger traveling with Anders even though their relationship was in disarray. Fenris had pulled him to the surface of the water when they’d fallen in. As he thought more about their conversations since the last night in Kirkwall he had realized that the elf was just as confused about where they stood with each other. His actions spoke of a willingness to at least try and breach the gap Anders had forced between them.

Without any clear idea how he was going to put his relationship back together, Anders stood with a sigh and joined the dwindling throng headed into the city. The first thing he needed to do was find his way back to the Inn they were staying at. To that end he shuffled along with the people he could sense around him, headed in the direction he’d come from. His staff tapped the ground as he walked and he waited until the crowd dispersed around him before sweeping it in low arcs.

As he was wandering, he wondered if he could find some kind soul who would at least point him in the direction of the docks when he heard laughter to his left. Anders kept moving but paid attention to where the sound had come from. He walked a little faster when the snickers followed him. It wasn’t too surprising when he was pushed from behind.

“You’ll see better without the blindfold,” a young sounding voice sneered. The statement was accompanied by another shove and Anders whirled around, his staff at waist height.

“Hey!” another young voice exclaimed.

His staff struck the boy who’d shoved him and he said indignantly, “Watch where you’re swinging that thing!”

“Then stop pushing me,” Anders said as he prepared himself for an attack. “I wasn’t bothering you.”

“You’re bothering me now,” the first voice growled angrily.

Using skills he’d honed in Kirkwall, Anders stepped to the side and felt the boy rush past him. He brought his staff around and landed a satisfying swat on the boy’s bottom. There was a loud yelp followed by a soft thud as he hit the ground. Anders straightened in the sudden quiet, knowing that a crowd had likely formed by now.

“The blindfold is for your benefit,” said Anders calmly. “I won’t be able to see even if I did take it off. Harassing people you think are weaker is a good way to get killed.”

“Come on Gabe,” the second voice said nervously. “Sister Julia and Ser Simon are coming.”

Anders listened to the two boys scramble away as he tensed at the possibility of a Templar headed straight for him. He could now hear whispers from the crowd as well as the clatter of plate armor drawing near. Thankfully the rattling plate passed him by, headed in the same direction the two boys had gone, the man barking at them loudly to stop.

There was a light touch on his shoulder and he turned towards the slightly winded feminine voice. “Please excuse them Messere,” she said. “They are just troubled young men. You are unharmed I hope?”

“I’m fine,” Anders said smiling. “It’s not the first time I’ve been hassled for wearing a blindfold.”

“That is both good and bad,” she said sympathetically. “I’m Sister Julia. Are you new to Denerim?”

“I’ve been here before the blight,” he said casually. “That was before I was blinded. Could you possibly help me get back to the docks? I’ve been separated from my companion and I’m afraid I’m a little lost.”

“Certainly,” Julia said warmly. Anders felt her slip her arm through his and he followed her gentle tug as they began walking. “How long will you be staying?”

“Not too much longer,” said Anders conversationally. “My…friend and I are headed for Amaranthine. We’re here to supply for the journey.”

“If you’ll provide the Inn you’re staying at, Ser Simon and I can bring Gabriel and Tucker by in the morning,” she said authoritatively. Her voice turned stern as she continued. “The boys should apologize.”

“That’s unnecessary,” Anders said with an internal groan. “I think I proved my point well enough.”

“Their behavior was unacceptable.”

Her tone reminded him strongly of Senior Enchanter Wynne at her most disapproving and he felt a sudden surge of sympathy for the two boys. “If you insist,” Anders said trying not to sound resigned. “I’m at the Whispering Maiden.”

The rest of the trip back to the Inn was full of light small talk. Anders was careful not to reveal too much of himself, Fenris or where they were really headed. It was going to be irritating enough explaining why he’d be getting a visit in the morning from a Templar and a Sister not to mention where he’d been all day. Hopefully nothing more would happen and they could be on their way soon afterwards, if Fenris was still willing. They didn’t quite make it all the way back to the Inn though.

“There you are Blondie,” Varric exclaimed grumpily from ahead of him.

“Hello Varric,” Anders said cheerfully. “This is Sister Julia. She’s been kind enough to lead me back.”

“You have my eternal gratitude Sister,” said Varric smoothly. “I hope my errant companion hasn’t been too much trouble.”

“No trouble at all,” Julia said warmly. “I’m afraid two of my charges caused him some trouble. We’ll be by in the morning so that they may apologize for their error.”

“It’s truly not necessary,” Anders said patting her hand still on his arm. “Thank you for helping me find my companion.”

“You’re very welcome,” she said. “Those boys simply must apologize though.”

“I guess I’ll see you in the morning then,” said Anders again trying not to sound resigned.

Julia patted his arm and his hand was transferred to Varric’s shoulder. “What was that about?” Varric asked after they’d gone a short distance.

“Just a couple of boys who thought it might be fun to push me around because I can’t see,” he explained quietly. “They must be orphans, wards of the Chantry. There was a Templar that ran after them when they chased the boys away. She was insistent that they be made to apologize and I’m afraid we’ll see all four of them tomorrow morning.”

“Fenris isn’t going to like that,” Varric said sounding grumpy again.

“I don’t like it much either,” Anders said. They walked on in silence for a while. He began wondering just how irritated the elf was. Fenris and Hawke had probably gotten back long before now. “How much trouble am I in?”

“Broody isn’t real happy with either of us,” he said with a snort. “I hope it was worth it.”

“It was,” said Anders softly. “I won’t be running off by myself anytime soon though.” He frowned and added sullenly, “I hardly ever got lost in Kirkwall.”

“Come on,” said Varric with a chuckle. “Let’s get back. If we’re lucky the Inn will still be in one piece.”

Anders held in a groan. This wasn’t going to be very pleasant.


	8. Chapter 8

Fenris paced the length of the room he had shared with Anders the previous night. He wasn’t sure what made him angrier, that Anders had been allowed to wander off or that he’d been sent to his room like a disobedient child. He hadn’t started the evening in his room. It had begun in the common room, waiting for the mage to show up on his own or for Varric to return with him in tow. The evening had grown long and when he couldn’t hold in his agitation, Hawke had sent him up here.

He’s not a child Fenris. He got around Kirkwall just fine by himself. Yes he’s upset but we both know damn well he won’t leave without you. Fenris stopped pacing for a moment and growled at the door after Hawke’s words ran through his head yet again. The mage wasn’t a child but he did require a certain amount of assistance.

Fenris knew some of his tricks, like counting the stairs so that he didn’t have to search for every riser with his staff. At home he ran his hand along the wall to get from the main room to the bathing chamber without entering the three doors between. Anders had already known Kirkwall, traveled its twists and turns for years before losing his sight. Here in Denerim he wouldn’t have that benefit.

Not being able to find his way back was only the surface of his worries. There were hordes of Templars in the city and without being able to see their sigil they would sound like any other person wearing plate mail. Being subtle was _not_ one of Anders’ strengths. People weren’t always sympathetic for the mage’s disability and some grew very cross when bumped into or tapped with the staff. There were too many things that could go wrong.

His pacing continued and like he had on the ship, he wished for something to destroy. Finally unable to stand this waiting and worrying, he snatched a decorative vase from the nearby table and hurled it at a wall. The vase shattered against it but he was not satisfied. Fenris clenched his fists and paced more, heedless of the broken shards of pottery on the floor.

There was a knock on the door shortly after followed by the only voice that he wanted to hear. “Can I come in?”

He flew across the room and flung the door open. Fenris yanked the startled mage inside and he wrapped his arms around him in a crushing hug. Anders grunted as he was enveloped then gave a surprised yelp as Fenris carried him to the bed. After he had been deposited Fenris paced in front of him.

“What were you thinking?” Fenris roared, torn between a desire to keep yelling or crawl on top of the mage and smother him with kisses.

“That I wouldn’t get hopelessly lost?” Anders said with a sheepish smile.

Fenris growled in agitation and stopped in front of him. “I have been here for hours going through every worst case scenario in my head over and over. Do you enjoy making me worry over you?”

“It wasn’t my intention to worry you,” said Anders pulling the kerchief down around his neck. “I needed to think and I didn’t want to be cooped up in here. I got enough of that on the ship.”

“You could have sat in the common room!” Fenris exclaimed heatedly. “Or gone outside and sat against the building! Had the dwarf lead you to a nearby bench! You didn’t have to wander away into the city where you could be accosted or captured!”

“Fenris,” Anders said earnestly. “I’m sorry. I truly didn’t think I’d get lost. I didn’t want to worry or frighten you I just…needed to work some things out. I promise I won’t wander away on my own until we’re settled somewhere and I know where I’m going.”

He harrumphed noncommittally and crossed his arms over his chest. “What were you thinking about?” Fenris asked in a quieter voice as he sat down next to the mage.

“Us,” said Anders seriously. “Can I see your feet?”

“I don’t think I stepped on any of it,” Fenris said putting a foot on his knee anyway.

Anders leaned over slightly and Fenris watched him carefully run his fingers over the thick calluses on his foot as he continued speaking. “I know I caused this. I know you don’t approve of what Hawke and I did. I want you to understand and…since I’m not dead, I really want to fix us.”

Silence fell as Anders removed a shard that he didn’t feel. A small bit of healing followed and he moved around Fenris to sit on his other side, carefully going over his other foot. “I want that too and I…sort of understand your view,” he said. “I can’t stand the thought of you being taken away from me. I do not agree with your methods.”

“It was all I could think of,” Anders said as he stood and crossed the room. “I tried but…there were too many things working against me. Too many blood mages, Meredith instilling fear into everyone, Elthina refusing to do anything when she knew what was going on…so many things…”

“I do not wish to argue,” Fenris said firmly. After hours of worry the final events in Kirkwall were the very last thing he wanted to think about. “I’ve spent too much time this afternoon imagining you broken in an alley somewhere.”

“Umm, funny you should mention that,” Anders said nervously. “I did get pushed around a little by a couple of boys.”

“What happened?” asked Fenris darkly.

“Well, I managed to smack one of them on the rear end with my staff but…a Sister and a Templar chased them away.” Anders paused when he growled and a pained expression flashed across his face. “It gets worse. The Templar chased after the boys and the Sister led me back here until we came across Varric. She insisted that the boys apologize and all four of them will be here in the morning.”

Fenris growled again as he stood and began pacing in front of the bed again. Anders took a step towards him with a hand outstretched. “I don’t like it either,” he said frowning. “I tried to dissuade her but she wouldn’t hear of it.”

“Perhaps we could leave before they get here,” said Fenris mostly to himself.

“I’ve thought of that,” Anders said catching his arm. “It would look suspicious and besides, we don’t know where we’re going yet. You can be your usual charming self and I’ll behave I promise. Let’s just go down so I can get something to eat and come back up here…maybe…cuddle a little.”

The last was spoken with a hopeful smile and Fenris found himself a little stunned. “I…didn’t think you would wish it.”

“It’s all right if you don’t want to but…you have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” said Anders letting his hand fall. “Like I said last night, nothing else needs to happen. All this…us…sort of began with accidental cuddling and I just thought…maybe…”

A flush crept up his cheeks and he looked down at his feet. Fenris smiled and lifted his chin with a finger. “So it did,” Fenris said. “It seems as good a place to start as any and I have missed our mornings as well.”

“It’s seems like it’s been forever since I heard that tone,” Anders said with a smile. “Come on, I haven’t had anything to eat since breakfast.”

Fenris followed him out and down to the common room. They both ignored the others and sat in a corner by themselves. While Anders ate Fenris told him quietly of his earlier thoughts, before he’d discovered the mage missing. It spawned a discussion that lasted even after they were wrapped up together in bed. Fenris went to sleep hopeful.

It was very clear to both of them that the current system didn’t work. All mages didn’t deserve to be locked up but because of the dangers they presented for the general population a system to watch them was necessary. Fenris was positive that if he and Anders could come to some sort of consensus about what, they would have a solution.

He was also hopeful that things would get better between him and Anders. After an evening full of worry it felt surprisingly natural to curl up around the mage. More time would be needed to restore everything that had been destroyed along with Kirkwall’s chantry. Despite a shaky start Fenris felt some progress had been made. He didn’t plan on letting the mage out of his sight anytime soon however.

The next morning began with Anders wrapped around him. Neither of them spoke nor moved for a while. Eventually they got out of bed and Fenris was allowed to help him with the leathers this time. They descended the staircase side by side quietly discussing where they would go and when they would leave. Sitting at one of the larger tables, the rest of Hawke’s group eventually joined them.

Fenris watched the door as they ate their breakfast and listened to the talk around him. Anders didn’t seem very nervous but remained mostly quiet and listened. When the front door finally did open, an older woman wearing Chantry robes entered with a human boy who looked to be fourteen or fifteen. Her black hair was greying at the temples and rolled into a bun at the back of her head. Her expression was stern as she scanned the room.

The boy had reddish blonde hair that fell to his shoulders, bangs that nearly covered one eye and he was almost as tall as the Sister behind him. His arms were folded across his narrow chest, his expression murderous, as he was led to the table they were sitting at. Fenris saw only them however.

“A Sister and one boy,” Fenris said quietly to Anders’ unspoken question. Anders frowned a little and talk ceased around their table. Easily pushing the boy ahead of her she stopped behind the mage as he turned in his chair.

“Good morning Messere,” the Sister said steadily. “Gabriel has something he’d like to say.”

“I won’t,” the boy spat out defiantly. “It’s his fault Simon took Tuck away.”

“ _Ser_ Simon,” she corrected. “Your disrespectful treatment of this man yesterday had nothing to do with Tucker being sent to the Tower this morning.”

“Wait,” Anders said shaking his head. “What happened to the other boy?”

Fenris saw Hawke lean across the table to speak quietly with Varric. The Sister began speaking but was interrupted by Gabriel. “He shot fire at that stupid Templar while we were running.”

Anders looked stricken as the boy was reprimanded for his further disrespectful behavior. Varric was suddenly at the Sister’s side, talking quietly and led her and the boy away from the table. Hawke stood and placed a hand on Anders’ shoulder.

“Hawke,” Anders said in a soft desperate voice. “We can’t let that boy get taken to the Tower. After the abominations during the blight it might be as bad as Kirkwall.”

“I agree,” said Hawke firmly. “Getting him away from the Templars will be yours and Fenris’ task.”

“Hawke,” Fenris started, knowing he didn’t like the idea of Anders being around any Templars. He felt for the boy but his mage was more important.

“I know what you’re going to say,” Hawke whispered. “Those boys were brothers whether by choice or blood. Their parents likely died in the blight. They were all the other had. This is what we’re trying to stop. It’s not fair that they’re ripped apart simply because one of them is a mage. I’m counting on you Fenris. Keep them both out of the Templar’s grasp. I’ll acquire this boy and we’ll meet…Isabela?”

“Four months, Highever,” Isabela said. “The repairs aren’t done on the ship.”

“That gives you plenty of time to get him back and get lost,” said Hawke.

Fenris sighed and shook his head. His mage was determined and he wasn’t about to let him free that boy on his own. “You two will be the death of me yet,” he said as he stood. “Let’s hurry.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some canon typical violence.

It was mid-morning by the time they finally left Denerim. It wasn’t hard to find out that they had gone north towards Amaranthine on horseback. Anders sat behind Fenris on the horse that Hawke had helped them acquire. The elf had been a little leery at first but seemed to be picking up riding skills rather quickly. Anders could only hang onto him, his arms wrapped tightly around his chest. He was glad that his sword had been fitted onto the saddle in a sheath. Their packs of provisions had been fitted over the horse’s hind quarters and Anders had the pack with their armor and extra clothes.

The horse was necessary in order to catch up with the Templars escorting the boy, Tucker, to the Circle Tower. Anders hadn’t been very fond of the creatures before and he was beginning to like them less. They were more common now than before or during the blight. Most of his treks back to the Tower had been on foot.

They headed north as fast as the animal would go. There would likely be two or three Templars to escort one boy but both of them agreed that an ambush would be better than a direct assault since neither of them had had time to figure out just how Anders could help Fenris in a fight. The Wending Woods would be a perfect place for such an event. It would also be easier to slip away with the boy, hopefully with one of the Templar horses that he could ride as well.

Since the Templars were traveling at a more leisurely pace they caught up easily. Fenris slowed them to a slightly faster pace when they were in view ahead. There were three Templars, Tucker riding in front of one with his hands shackled. Fenris told him after they passed the boy was probably around ten or eleven. He had blonde hair, lighter than Anders’ hair but darker than Fenris’. Tucker also shared a distinctly similar facial structure with Gabriel, a slightly square jaw, a broad nose and high cheekbones. They both also had a tanned skin tone, like they spent a good deal of time in the sun.

When the Templars were behind them their pace quickened again but not at the previous breakneck speed. They were well into the forest when Fenris finally stopped them, a short distance out of sight of the main trail. Anders was happy to be off the horse but knew he’d be back on it before the night was through. He dug out some of their rations and sat to wait.

“You know this area?” Fenris asked between bites.

“We patrolled here frequently,” Anders replied softly. “The Wardens that is. I don’t know if they still do or not.”

“Which direction would be best for escape?” he said.

“West, into the Bannorn,” said Anders confidently. “It’s full of crops, orchards things like that…and constantly bickering Banns. If we avoid settlements we should be fine. We’ll have to be careful to avoid Vigil’s Keep.”

“Where is it from here?”

“Further north and then west. Highever is along the northern coast.”

Fenris hummed and silence fell. Anders found it annoying that the warrior hadn’t wanted to help. He would have done it alone if he’d had to; he did feel a bit responsible even though they had caused the incident. If Tucker was a late bloomer like he suspected, he would have manifested soon enough anyway. It would have been difficult to hide magical abilities from the Sisters but not impossible. The other boy had seemed angrier that Tucker had been taken than afraid of what he’d done. At least now he could be kept out of the Circle.

“Can you teach him?” Fenris asked after they had eaten.

“I suppose,” Anders said slowly. He hadn’t thought that far ahead. “I’ve never really taught anyone before.”

Anders felt his hand on his arm and a hushed shush in his ear. Moments later Fenris whispered, “Get on the horse, I will be back with the boy shortly.”

Knowing there was no point in stopping him Anders listened carefully after his scent faded. He stood, shouldering the pack and made his way over to their horse. Finding its neck, the horse snorted. Cautiously, he ran his hand up until he found the bridle. Hoping the horse wouldn’t bite him he found the reins and unwound them from the branch. It snorted again and stamped its foot.

“Be nice please,” he muttered irritably. Anders fumbled his way into the saddle and the horse danced nervously while he fiddled with the reins. After it decided that they weren’t going anywhere at the moment, the horse pulled at the thin strips of leather. He didn’t let go but held the very ends, letting it crop at the grass.

Shifting in the saddle he pulled the blindfold down around his neck. Anders scanned the woods around him knowing the sun had set. He could see no light, could only hear the wind in the trees and the occasional hoot of an owl. The wait seemed endless and he strained to hear anything that might give him an idea of what was going on.

*

Fenris followed the three Templars and the boy as quietly as he could and watched from a distance as they made camp. One of them led the boy a short distance into the woods after they had settled, a hand clamped firmly at the back of his neck. He followed them and watched as Tucker struggled with the short chain on the shackles so that he could relieve himself. The Templar merely stood, hand never moving from the boy’s neck.

“Hurry up boy,” the Templar growled impatiently when nothing happened for some minutes.

“I can’t,” Tucker whined timidly. “Not with you watching.”

“Better get used to it,” the Templar said unsympathetically with a small shake. “The Tower isn’t as full as it used to be but you’ll still be eating, sleeping, bathing and pissing with twenty others watching while you do it. Hurry it up.”

There was a dismayed moan from the boy and Fenris frowned. It took several more minutes and a growled threat to let him sleep in wet trousers before he was able to go. His trousers weren’t quite knotted when the Templar forced him around with a squeaked protest. Fenris rushed forward out of his hiding spot in the bushes and quickly separated the Templar from his heart.

Tucker looked over his shoulder at his captors gurgle and the loosened grip on his neck. His eyes went wide in fear. Fenris shoved the dead Templar away and grabbed the boy before he could flee. With one hand across his mouth and the other pinning his arms to his skinny midsection, Fenris held the trembling mageling to him tightly.

“Make no sound,” Fenris whispered leaning down to speak into his ear. “You will not be harmed. My friends in Denerim are freeing your brother as we speak. Come with me quietly and quickly and in time you will be reunited with him.”

Tucker nodded his head slightly but was still shaking in fear. Fenris looked to the Templars camp and found that the two remaining weren’t worried yet. Slowly he moved the hand covering the boy’s mouth to his shoulder. When he didn’t speak Fenris put his other hand on the boy’s shoulder and turned, pushing him quickly in the direction he’d left Anders. There was only a small whimper from the boy when the other two started calling for their fallen comrade.

Fenris hurried onward without explaining anything further, listening for sounds of pursuit. Tucker’s terror was almost tangible but he couldn’t spare a moment. Anders would have to deal with it. He had two more Templars to take care of.

*

Finally there was the rustling sound of someone approaching and Anders listened closely. There was no clanking armor and he sighed in relief. He didn’t catch Fenris’ distinctive scent until after the elf had called to him quietly.

“Anders scoot back,” he whispered urgently. Anders also heard a soft dismayed moan. The horse continued to be placid underneath him as he complied. “Into the saddle boy.”

“I…I need to tie my pants,” a voice said softly. It was nervous and familiar though he’d only heard him speak twice.

“Quickly,” Fenris growled.

“Fenris what’s going on?” Anders asked after he heard Tucker utter a short squeak of fear.

“Your mageling,” said Fenris quietly. There was another soft cry from the boy and Anders felt someone placed in the saddle in front of him. He heard Fenris’ sword being drawn from the sheath. “Two Templars remain. Try to stay here but if you must flee keep the rising moon at your back.”

“Fenris wait,” Anders called out softly to his surely retreating figure. There was no reply and the sound had died back to the small breeze among the trees. “Bloody stubborn elf.”

“He…He’s gone,” Tucker stuttered fearfully.

“I know,” Anders grumbled as he gripped Tuckers’ arms. He frowned when he felt the boy in front of him flinch.

“Please don’t hurt me!” he begged hastily. “I’m sorry we pushed you!”

“Shhh,” said Anders. “I’m not mad and I’m certainly not going to hurt you. I just want to help you. I’m Anders. You’re Tucker?”

“Tuck,” the boy said in a small scared tone. “Only the Sisters…called me Tucker.”

“What has Fenris told you Tuck?” asked Anders in a soothing tone.

“He said…that you’d take me back to Gabe.”

“Not back. Our friends will take him to Highever. We’re to meet there in four months. Have you been hurt?”

“Ser Simon…cuffed me yesterday…after I…” A shudder went through Tucker as he stopped speaking abruptly. “I didn’t mean to do it,” he continued miserably. “He was hurting Gabe…I…I just wanted him to stop.”

“I understand Tuck,” said Anders softly rubbing his arms. “I’m a mage too.”

“Is that how…you got Gabe on the arse?” Tucker said curiously despite the fear still in his voice and the tremble in his arms.

“No,” said Anders with a soft chuckle. “That was a lot of…” He stopped speaking abruptly and turned when he heard an unfamiliar voice calling out close to them.

“Thomas,” Tucker whispered his voice full of renewed terror. “He’s mean.”

“You have the reins?” Anders whispered.

“Yes,” he replied just as softly.

“You have to guide the horse Tuck,” said Anders bending a little to speak close to his ear. “Put the moon behind us and go slowly for now.”

“I…don’t know…how,” Tucker said in a barely audible whisper.

“Be brave,” Anders said reassuringly. “I know you can do it. We won’t get to Highever if the Templars lock us up in Kinloch Hold.”

There was no reply except a sharp intake of breath. Tucker shifted a little in front of him and Anders moved his hands to the boy’s shoulders. He heard the horse snort and a soft snap of leather. They were moving slowly, turning then forward. The Templar continued to call out the names of his companions. Anders hoped that Fenris was all right and that he would find them soon.


	10. Chapter 10

By the time Fenris made it to their horses both Templars were in the woods. He picked one at random and freed the other two, sending them back towards Denerim with a smack on the rump. The third horse he brought with him. The Templars had already discovered their dead companion and he hurried in that direction. He listened to their hushed conversation from the cover of the woods not far away, a hand over the horse’s nose to hopefully keep it quiet.

One headed in the direction he’d left Anders and the boy, sword drawn. Fenris frowned and tied the horse to the tree. Without bothering to stay quiet, he rushed from the trees at the closest one, who was bent over his dead companion. His charge was met by surprise but the Templar managed to put up enough of a fight that the other now had a good lead. The noise hadn’t drawn him back like Fenris had hoped it would. Cleaning his blade quickly on the deceased Templar’s skirts, he strapped it in place and quickly mounted the horse.

He rode as fast as he dared to where Anders had been left and found nothing. Fenris could make no sense of the few tracks that had been left. The Templar’s calls had also gone quiet and he turned in the direction he’d told them to flee, west towards the Bannorn. He could only hope that he ran into the Templar before the Templar ran into Anders.

*

The calls had stopped a while ago. There was also no sign of Fenris. Tuck had managed to get them into a fast walk but Anders had no idea where they were at or how far they had traveled.

“What’s around us Tuck?” Anders asked quietly.

“Umm…we…we’re at the edge of the forest…I think…Ser,” Tuck said timidly. “Do…do you want me to keep going?”

“We’d better stay put for the moment. Give Fenris a chance to catch up,” Anders said after a minute of thought. “Call me Anders.”

“What happens now?” Tuck asked shyly.

“We let the horse rest, we listen and watch for the Templar while we wait for Fenris and maybe we can break the chain on those manacles,” Anders said as he dismounted. He stood close to horse and held his arms up to help Tuck off the horse. There was a bitten off yelp from the boy before he felt a small hand take his and he couldn’t help a smirk.

“Finally got a good look at my eyes?” Anders asked as Tuck climbed out of the saddle. There was silence as his feet hit the ground and Tuck pulled his hand back immediately. “I can’t see you nodding you know. Tie the reins to a bush so the horse doesn’t wander off.”

“Umm, yeah…okay,” he said now sounding nervous. “What…what happened to them?”

“Spider venom,” said Anders. “It’s not the blight sickness, they just don’t work anymore.”

“It’s…creepy,” Tuck said. “Sort of like Mum…before she died.”

“I don’t plan on dying anytime soon,” Anders said as he pulled his staff from his back. He searched the immediate area while Tuck took the horse a short distance away. Settling down with his back against a tree that he’d found, he waved the boy over. “Sit in front of me and we’ll see what we can do about those manacles.”

His staff on the ground next to him, he listened to the chain rattling until the sound was directly in front of him. Anders found Tuck’s hand easily and felt along until he reached the manacles. The chain was ridiculously short but he thought it would still be possible to break through it without hurting Tuck.

“Keep the chain taut and hold still,” said Anders quietly. “I’m going to heat the metal, soften it so that it’ll break apart with a good tug.”

“Okay,” said Tuck.

Anders held his hands to either side of the chain and focused fire between them. The area was fairly quiet when he’d begun, Tuck was still and he concentrated. Time passed but he was only partially aware of it. Keeping the fire focused on the chain between his hands required most of his attention. He only heard the clanking armor after a Silence cut him off. Seconds later he heard the chain rattle as the boy made a terrified noise.

“Run Tuck,” Anders shouted as he grabbed his staff and shot to his feet. Turning towards the armor rattle, the bushes rustled behind him. He hoped that he could give Tuck enough time to get away.

*

The moon was now high overhead and Fenris had still not come across either Anders or the Templar. He was following a deer trail that went west that he’d come across. It was possible that they had come along this trail before him but there was no way to tell for certain. He was contemplating calling out for Anders when someone burst out of the bushes in front of him. The horse reared and Fenris hung on as he cursed.

“It’s you!”

“Where is Anders, boy?” he growled irritably when he recognized the voice.

Tuck was dancing anxiously from foot to foot beside him. Fenris noted that the chain between the manacles still around the boy’s wrists had been broken when he pointed towards the bushes he’d come out of. “Thomas…he didn’t hear Thomas…I didn’t see him…he was trying to…” Tuck held up his hands, mournful, worried and scared.

Fenris turned in that direction and leaned over towards Tuck with his arm extended. The mageling hesitated for a moment but took his hand and Fenris pulled him up. “Hold on,” said Fenris as he kicked the horse.

Obediently the horse surged forwards and Fenris leaned over its neck with the boy clinging to him from behind. Trees flew by and he urged the horse faster when he heard a familiar roar in the distance after some minutes. They broke through a line of bushes and Fenris saw the Templar fall to the ground with Anders, eyes blue, staggering back a step. He tugged on the reins sharply, sending the horse skidding to a stop and he jumped off, catching Anders as he began to fall backwards. Justice’s glow faded as Fenris lowered him to a sitting position on the ground, blood oozing from a deep wound in his leg.

“Fenris,” said Anders smiling. “Where’s Tuck?”

“Falling off the other horse,” he said searching for other wounds. “Can you heal yourself?”

“Not at the moment,” Anders said tiredly but somewhat cheerfully as well. “Took everything I had left to get rid of him. There should be an injury kit in one of the packs.”

“Are you…umm…oh…Maker,” Tuck began.

Fenris looked up to see the boy staring at the blackened armor of what was left of the Templar. He whipped around away from the gruesome sight that Fenris hadn’t even glanced at. Leaving Anders sitting where he was and ignoring the boy who looked like he was trying not to vomit, he strode over to the other horse. It was tugging on the reins, eyes wide and rolling, dancing in fright. He checked the knot and it was still secure so Fenris grabbed the packs and hurried back to Anders.

“Why didn’t you wait?” Fenris asked softly as he dug through the pack.

“He’s frightened,” Anders replied just as softly. “He’s been taken from everything familiar by the Templars and taken again by a couple of strangers in the middle of the night. He’s likely scared and confused because of the magic as well. I was trying to keep him from running from us. I didn’t think that Templar was so close. I’m glad you found him.”

“Luck. I believe you may have succeeded,” said Fenris. He wrapped a bandage around the wound tightly and tied it off, watching Tuck sooth the frightened horse. “He doesn’t seem too inclined to flee now.”

“Let’s get away from the forest,” said Anders. “Find somewhere to eat and rest.”

“Very well,” Fenris said helping Anders to his feet. “Where is your staff?”

“Over there I think,” he said gesturing to his left with a pained grimace. “Bloody Templar silenced me, had to hold him off. Misjudged a few times.”

“I’ll find it while you and the boy get on the horse,” said Fenris supporting him as they limped to where Tuck stood.


	11. Chapter 11

Tuck was curled up into a ball and still sleeping under the blanket they had given him. Anders was also curled up into a ball but Fenris was curled around him. The sun was well above the horizon but Fenris felt no hurry to start their day. He wanted to stay wrapped around his mage, enjoying their closeness.

He hadn’t lied when he’d told Anders he missed their mornings. Refreshed from sleep, before the trials and tribulations of the waking world took hold again, it was nice to simply enjoy the warmth and body of a loved one. It hadn’t been uncommon for cuddling to turn into rutting when one of them had woke amorous but more often than not they had simply remained pressed together. Fenris sighed softly, wishing this peace would last but knowing it would not.

Instead of dwelling on things he couldn’t change at the moment Fenris turned his thoughts to coming up with a solution to the mage problem that would satisfy both him and Anders. He understood what had pushed Anders to such drastic action. The mages of Kirkwall had been oppressed and abused by the very people that were supposed to watch and protect them. With Meredith the only leadership in the city their lot had grown worse and while there were many unhappy with her, no one dared do anything about it.

The problem that needed to be addressed was how to watch the mages without the watchers becoming power hungry and corrupt. There were simply too many dangers to let the mages have complete freedom but treating them like prisoners wasn’t acceptable either. He thought of this often as they meandered slowly through the Bannorn. Fenris kept them away from large settlements and people in general.

Whispered conversations with Anders before bed had eased some of the tension between them. They spoke of many things, what Anders and Hawke did during those many hours locked away in his library, Fenris’ worries at the time and his current concerns. A few of their old arguments about mages were revisited but none with the disastrous results of the first one.

During the days Anders began teaching Tuck. Fenris found that he was incredibly patient with the boy. It took Tuck quite some time to get over some of his shyness. It also took a few growled reprimands to get the boy to vocalize his yeas and nays to Anders’ questions rather than nodding and shaking his head. Fenris usually tried to keep Anders between himself and the boy as he seemed to make the mageling nervous.

As he slowly relaxed around them, they found Tuck to be a generally cheerful boy who listened a great deal and spoke little. Anders did manage to coax his story out however. Gabriel was his brother by blood, older than his twelve years by two. Their father had died in Denerim, when the city was attacked by the archdemon but their mother had fled with them to Amaranthine beforehand. She had contracted the blight sickness when that city had been attacked by darkspawn less than half a year later.

With no other family in Ferelden they had gone to the Chantry in Amaranthine. They were eventually sent back to Denerim to an orphanage that had been created specifically to house children orphaned by the blight. He told few stories of his life in the orphanage, only that Gabriel was often in trouble with the sisters but had only recently become the angry young man Fenris had seen. Tuck would say no more and neither he nor Anders pressed. His general distaste for Templars had both of them wondering however.

For almost a month Fenris took them in a general westerly direction, spending a few days at a decent campsite and then moving on. He was positive that they were past Vigil’s Keep by now and had angled them north. They were camped for the night and Fenris was taking stock of their supplies. Even augmenting what they had by hunting and gathering they were still dangerously low.

Tuck was kneeling by the ring of rocks they had collected for a fire pit arranging the wood he’d gathered earlier. Anders sat near him, head cocked to the side as he listened. Fenris waited, knowing that an interruption could cause someone injuries. When he was satisfied with the wood, Tuck took a deep breath and held his hands to either side.

“Concentrate,” Anders said encouragingly. “You can do this.”

The boy nodded and closed his eyes. Fenris suppressed an irritated sigh and watched quietly. For the last five nights Tuck had failed to bring forth a spark to ignite the wood. It was beginning to look like tonight would be another failure. He’d watched them closely over the last month when they trained. Anders didn’t seem to be bothered by the fact that Tuck could usually produce flames as long as he didn’t plan on using it. Since lighting a fire at night was a relatively safe use for the element, Fenris assumed that he was trying to get the mageling past whatever was blocking him.

Flames suddenly erupted from between his hands and the startled boy scrambled backwards. Anders merely smiled and held a hand out cautiously. The very top of the wood had caught and his hand stopped when he felt the heat of the flames. “You did it,” said Anders putting his hand back on his thigh.

“I did didn’t I,” Tuck said in amazement. He crawled forward a little and sat on his feet next to Anders. “It didn’t look much like normal or when you broke the chain.”

“Describe it,” ordered Anders gently.

“It was…a big burst of flames,” Tuck said turning to look at Anders. It had taken a while but the boy could at least look at him without shuddering now. “Scared me a little.”

“A lot of nothing then suddenly a lot more than you wanted?” Anders asked.

“Yeah,” Tuck said nodding. “Just like that.”

Anders turned his head a little as Fenris finally approached but turned back to Tuck. “Don’t worry about that too much. You’ll learn better control as you practice. Knowing how much mana to put into it, whether you want flames or a small spot of intense heat takes a lot of trial and error.”

He sat near them and listened while he prepared the birds they had caught and plucked earlier. The fire spread quickly through the wood and Fenris waited patiently for their lesson to end before bringing their supply situation to Anders’ attention. Tuck seemed to be struggling overall with Anders’ teachings. Some things they tried came easily to the boy but others, like practical uses for the spells, he continuously failed at. Anders had reassured him constantly that it was normal and not to despair.

Their discussion of demons and the Fade had happened very near the beginning of Tuck’s lessons. The boy knew of Justice and most of the consequences of Anders joining with the demon. Fenris had listened closely to his explanation of demons and spirits even though he’d heard it many times before. He was beginning to think that there just might be a difference between the two but it mattered little in Anders’ case. No matter what Justice had begun as, it was a demon now.

The birds were now roasting over the fire, potatoes balanced on the rocks around it and turned every so often. Tuck was staring at the fire, absently turning one of the manacles around his wrist. Since neither of them knew how to pick a lock and Anders hadn’t figured out how to safely remove them with magic, Tuck was stuck with them until they reunited with Hawke. Fenris was reluctant to try breaking the mechanism with his phasing abilities since he still made the boy nervous more often than not.

Anders was also quiet, his odd white eyes staring intently at the flames as well. Fenris scooted a little closer to him and cleared his throat. His head turned slightly and he smiled as he said, “Yes?”

“Our rations are dangerously low,” Fenris said quietly. “We have a handful of coin, a couple of sovereigns and the rest silver and copper. We should find a village.”

“I’m not sure we should take Tuck into a village,” Anders said knitting his brows. “Two men and a boy probably wouldn’t draw very many curious eyes but a blind man, a tattooed elf and a boy with manacles on his wrists might. We don’t know what rumors are flying around either.”

“What else are we to do?” Fenris asked. “The manacles can be covered.”

“There are plenty of places out here to hide,” said Anders reasonably. “We’ll find one a couple of days ride from a small village and you can continue on, get what we need and listen to what people are saying.”

Fenris frowned. They hadn’t seen very many people in the open fields. Without knowing what the rumors were about Kirkwall it probably was safer for Anders to stay with Tuck out here. The Templars might be looking for the boy as well which could complicate things. It would be easier for him to make a quick escape if one was needed without both of them. He still didn’t like the idea but couldn’t find a flaw that made Anders’ suggestion unfeasible.

“Very well,” said Fenris reluctantly.

“We’ll be fine,” Anders said reassuringly.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Trigger Warnings:** Racial slurs, racism in general, non-consensual touching
> 
> I'm terribly sorry, but it appears that this is going to get a little dark. =/

For three more days they had traveled, stopping to pick apples from the abandoned farm Fenris had left them at. Anders and Tuck were safely ensconced in the barn. The farmhouse was little more than a scorched skeleton. Fenris had continued on with a single pack, all of their coin and only a day’s worth of rations.

The village was closer to the abandoned farm than Anders would probably be comfortable with but Fenris was unwilling to leave them alone for too long. He was extremely glad both mages had been left behind now. Templars were a fixture in any village with a chantry. While small, this village did have a chantry but Fenris had already seen an excessive amount of Templars.

He watched them as he led his horse past a group of five. That he even had a horse was drawing more attention than he would have liked. Five helmets swiveled slowly, following him as he passed. Fenris didn’t look over his shoulder but felt them following his progress. He quickened his pace a little and reached the village center.

There was a fenced off section in the middle of the circular village center. A statue stood silent vigil among green grass with a few early blooming flowers at its base. A few of the villagers leaned on the fence surrounding it, watching him openly as he tied the horse’s reins to a nearby tree. The horse he rode had been the one they stole from the Templars that held Tuck. The barding that it had been wearing had long ago been discarded. Everything else had been kept out of necessity and Fenris hoped he was being stared at for the oddity he knew he was rather than suspected horse theft.

Buildings surrounded the fenced off statue with more villagers either loafing or hurrying on about their business. Beside the five he’d passed earlier, not mentioning the three he’d passed before he’d even gotten to the village’s outskirts, he counted four more. Two stood to either side of the main doors of the chantry, likely the largest building in the small village. One was hurrying off toward the five he’d seen and the other seemed to be guarding the general store.

Whispers followed in his wake but Fenris kept his face neutral and his gait steady. The only rumors he might hear in this place would likely be speculation about himself. The Templar standing outside the door of the general store moved to block him and he cursed inwardly.

“You’re not from around here,” a tinny feminine voice said.

“No,” Fenris said shortly.

“Which direction did you come in from?” she asked.

“Amaranthine,” he replied just as tersely.

“We’re looking for a boy,” she said undaunted by his obvious irritation. “Probably reach your shoulders, light blonde hair, dark colored eyes.”

“I bid you good luck,” said Fenris as he began to move around her. He felt a gauntleted hand around his arm as she began speaking again. Fenris growled and twisted out of her weak grip. “Do not touch me. I have not seen your boy nor will I be searching for him.”

“Look here you arrogant knife-ear,” she began angrily.

“That is quite enough recruit,” a stern male voice interrupted.

She took a step back and bowed slightly as she mumbled, “Sorry Ser.”

“My apologies traveler,” the helmetless Templar behind him said. “This boy was abducted on route to Lake Calenhad some weeks ago. His escorts were found dead, likely killed by an unknown malificar. We fear for his safety and any information you can provide would be most appreciated.”

“I have not seen him,” Fenris repeated warily glancing from one to the other. It wasn’t too surprising that they figured a mage was involved but he wondered how they thought they knew Anders was a malificar. It was also a bit worrisome that the Templars were still looking a month later.

“Thank you for your time,” he said politely. He gestured for the female to precede him and they both walked away.

Fenris watched them for a moment then turned back toward the door. He was now more uneasy about leaving them than he had been before. Thankfully the store wasn’t busy and he bought as many supplies as he could. Despite his need to hurry, he carefully counted out the coin and just as carefully filled his pack.

The Templar that had questioned him was back at her post beside the door, there were still two across the way and the group of five was now milling about the village center. He left the village going no faster than how he’d entered, watchful for signs of pursuit. Fenris left from the opposite direction he’d come in at. As soon as he dared he turned off the road and circled back around, giving the village a wide berth and running the horse as fast as he could. It was dark when the barn he’d left Anders and Tuck at finally came into view.

“Anders!” he cried as he rushed into the barn yanking the horse to a skidding halt.

There was no answer, no fire and the other horse was gone as well. Fenris dismounted with a curse and growing dismay. He let his brands flare to life and hurried over to the corner where they’d set their camp. Both of their packs were gone but the bedroll and blanket were still laid out beside the cold remains of the fire.

He squashed his fear and searched the barn for any sign that they might still be here. The scorch marks he found against the far wall were not very encouraging. In that same area he found the green scarf Anders had tied around his neck to cover his eyes with. It looked intact but that didn’t lessen his apprehension. Fenris let his brands die and without unsaddling his horse, settled in for a sleepless night of waiting for the sun to rise.

*

His head swam from the blow that had knocked him out. His stomach churned from the magebane he’d likely been force fed. His hands were tied behind his back and he lay on his side; head pillowed on something semi-soft, the leather armor he’d been wearing was gone. Anders fought unconsciousness little by little. He saw a fire a short distance in front of him, heard its crackle and a strange jingling sound somewhere close by.

Anders lay still and tried to remember what had happened. A lone man had wandered into the barn. It was late afternoon the day after Fenris had left. Tuck said that he didn’t have any weapons. He’d asked to rest his feet out of the sun and Anders had cautiously agreed. The man had been very polite and considerate. His attack had been sudden and unprovoked. He’d also known that Anders and Tuck were mages.

“Tuck,” he said. His voice was barely audible and rough.

“I’m all right,” the boy said quietly from nearby. He felt a brief touch on his arm.

“Where are we?” Anders asked trying to sit up and failing.

“On our way to Kinloch Hold,” said a voice from across the fire. “They said you were kind. I don’t honestly know how you had the stomach to destroy Kirkwall’s chantry.”

“Who are you and why am I still alive?” he sighed.

“You may call me Ser,” he said his voice stern. “You’re worth more alive. They’ll want to make an example of you. Perhaps I’ll even get a few coins for bringing in your young friend.”

“How long have you been following us?” asked Anders wishing he had the energy to be angry.

“A couple of weeks,” he said his voice now smug. “You certainly didn’t make it easy.” The jingling increased suddenly and it came towards him. Anders was gripped roughly and yanked to his feet. “Don’t try anything boy.”

“No Ser,” Tuck said quietly.

A wave of dizziness struck Anders and if it weren’t for the man holding him up he would have fallen back to the ground. He fought with his rising gorge while he was half-carried and half-dragged a short distance away. Anders was pushed to his knees and his head forced forwards by a hand at his neck. He dry heaved and was aware of the man kneeling next to him. After his stomach had settled a little he felt a hand at the waist of his trousers.

“What are you doing?” Anders exclaimed trying to jerk away. The grip on his neck tightened and the sudden movement sent his stomach rolling again.

“I’m helping you piss,” he said tolerantly as he pulled the laces loose. “I don’t want to smell you all the way to Kinloch.”

“You could just untie my hands,” Anders protested. “Or tie them in front.”

“Not a chance. You’re far too dangerous.”

“Going to wipe my ass too?” said Anders mockingly.

A sudden jab to his stomach had him bent over and he vomited between his knees. Anders felt a cloth on his face when he’d stopped, chest heaving and every muscle shaking. He felt a few swipes along his inner thighs before his captor spoke again in that same calm tolerant tone. “Your diet is going to be very liquid, doused heavily with magebane.”

Anders was still gasping when he felt his trousers loosened further and his dick pulled free. “What you don’t puke will likely come out here.” He grimaced as the man closed his fist around him, tightening painfully for a minute. Suddenly the hand at his neck disappeared only to reappear at his arse. Anders was simultaneously pushed from behind and pulled from in front upright on his knees.

“There won’t be much of anything coming out here.”

His arse was rubbed, almost affectionately, and Anders shuddered. He clenched his hands into fists and hoped Fenris could find them. This wasn’t the first time he’d been handled roughly or even fondled by unwanted hands. He could live through the indignity of having his prick held for him while he urinated. It was much better than a few alternatives. The hand at his arse suggested those alternatives were a distinct possibility.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything about magebane is pure speculation on my part.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating has gone up and I've changed the warnings to include rape/non-con because even though it's implied, in this chapter, it still happens.
> 
> I had no idea where this one might go when I started it and to a certain extent I still don't. I've been arguing with my muse over these last three chapters for quite some time now but it's pretty insistent. I've given up arguing though because I don't want this to languish like 'Connections' is. I apologize now and I won't be hurt if you can't keep reading. 
> 
>  
> 
> **Please note: Tuck does not see or understand anything that's being done to Anders and he won't in future chapters either. He's a fairly intelligent boy and knows something is going on but he won't figure out what until much later in his life.**

As soon as there was enough light to see by Fenris scoured the barn. The blanket and bedroll had been packed away on his horse hours ago and he’d tied the kerchief around his wrist. The scorch marks were the only signs of a struggle that he could see inside the barn. He expanded his search around the barn and still found nothing.

Fenris now stood outside the barn, his hands clenched into fists, angry and frantic to find any clue as to which direction they’d been taken in. That someone had taken them he had no doubts. Templars would likely have left some sort of destruction in their wake. Anders would never have trusted anyone wearing full plate armor anyway. He doubted that the mage would have trusted anyone at this point. Whoever had taken Anders and Tuck, one of them either knew the person or that person had known far too much about Anders.

He had no idea how long they’d been gone and cursed himself a fool for perhaps the fiftieth time since sunrise. Fenris growled and turned a slow circle in the yard, looking for anything out of place. Stopping when he saw something glinting in the morning light towards the west, he focused on the location and walked towards it. He knelt and brushed dust off of a broken piece of a potion vial. The ground was dry underneath, the cork still stoppered firmly in the broken neck of the vial.

It was lying towards the edge of the farmyard in the middle of a road that led west into an empty pasture. He stood and gazed down the road thinking. They didn’t have very many potions in their pack but they did have some. It was wise not to be completely dependent on Anders’ healing magic. He couldn’t be completely positive but he was pretty sure that the broken glass hadn’t been there when he’d left them.

Without any other leads, Fenris hurried back to the barn and mounted his horse. He rode along the edge of the road at a trot scouring the ground. After hours of riding and finding nothing he was beginning to fear he’d been wrong. His patience was rewarded however when he found something that he knew came from one of their packs.

Off to the side of the road at what looked like a well-used camp site, half-hidden by tall grass, was a mass of black feathers. Fenris dismounted and knelt next to them, throwing the rock that had held it down. He picked up Anders’ pauldrons, running a hand through the raven feathers and grinned. Anyone watching him would have seen quite a few teeth and a decidedly feral cast to his features. He hurried back to the horse and hooked the pauldrons around the horses’ neck.

Fenris kicked him into a trot, watching carefully for the trail Anders had left for him.

*

Only two days and Anders was already beginning to dread his own bodily functions. It had gone from simple holding to caressing absolutely everything between his waist and knees when he could stand upright without the nasty dizzy spells. Waiting until he couldn’t hold his water a moment longer had kept the unwanted attention brief so far. He wasn’t sure how long that would last however.

True to his word, Anders was fed broth at night and porridge so thin it was practically water every morning. Because he wasn’t allowed to feed himself, Tuck was made to do it. Thankfully that was the only thing the boy was forced to do. Their captor, who still refused to give a name, didn’t seem very interested in Tuck at all. Having his full attention nearly all the time was a mixed blessing. At least Anders knew the boy wasn’t being groped and he was fairly sure he hadn’t seen any of what he’d endured so far either.

The only time his arms had been untied so far was in the evenings with his ankles tied together and his captor sitting on his arse. The man’s considerable weight pushing his constantly upset stomach, among other things, into the ground almost made it not worth it. Ser worked his arms and shoulders loose both nights but they were retied before he was allowed to move again. Sleep had proved troubling the last two nights as well. Rolling over either made his arms go numb or his stomach to roll worse.

All of this would have been bad enough had he still been able to see. With his hands constantly bound Anders was almost completely dependent on Ser to guide him. It also made all the touching worse. Waking from a fitful slumber by hands roughly jerking him upright only to be led away and fondled until he could produce a stream of piss was irritating and embarrassing. He was beginning to think he preferred a kick to the head.

So far nothing had happened besides all of the unwanted groping. It was only a matter of time before he was forced into something else if what he was enduring right now was an indication. Anders had no idea what Ser did with Tuck when they traveled but he was hauled onto a horse in front of the man. For the two previous days he’d felt his arm around his midsection and that was it. That hand hadn’t stayed put today. It had begun around his waist but at some point Ser had worked his hand under Anders’ shirt where he was now rubbing his belly.

For most of the morning Anders had endured silently but when he felt it moving upwards he couldn’t remain silent any longer. “Stop that,” he snapped quietly.

“I will not,” Ser said amusement lacing his quiet words. His hand moved down and Anders bit the inside of his cheek to hold in a pained groan as his package was gripped tightly. “If I want to spend the day squeezing your balls as we ride I will.”

“Why are you doing this?” he asked in a breathless whisper when the grip on his cock and balls slackened.

“My employer is paying me a hefty sum to get you to Kinloch Hold alive,” Ser said softly. His voice was still full of amusement. “There will be a large bonus if you are…compliant…when we arrive.”

“That will never happen,” whispered Anders fiercely.

“Very well,” Ser said mildly pulling the laces of his trousers. “Since you seem to prefer pain.” Anders closed his eyes and grunted at the immediate ache that was added to his rolling gut as his balls were squeezed painfully. The pressure let up but Ser didn’t let go. “We have plenty of time,” he said confidently.

Hurry Fenris, thought Anders wishing that he knew when to shut up.

*

There was something wrong with this man. It wasn’t the scar that graced his cheek or his dark hair braided into tight rows on his head. He was as big as some of the Templars that came with the Sisters in the orphanage but he didn’t carry a shield or a sword, just a wicked looking long knife. He wore tight leather armor and had acted very nice until he’d suddenly struck Anders. Ser looked normal in every way, fair skin, dark eyes, two arms, two legs, a bent nose, thin lips, but this man reeked of something purely wrong. Some of the Templars had given him this same crawly feeling but it hadn’t ever been this bad. Both he and Gabe had avoided those ones. Tuck felt a little guilty for being relieved that Anders had almost all of his attention.

It was clear that Ser didn’t think Tuck was a threat. After the first surprised fireball he’d accidentally hurled at him and having that nasty looking knife pressed to his throat because of it, Tuck had done everything he could to promote that feeling. Being invisible had many advantages, like when he was left alone at night. He didn’t know what the man did when he took Anders but it was clear that Anders didn’t like it. They were usually gone long enough for Tuck to hide something from their pack where Fenris would see it at each of the three places they’d camped at.

The first afternoon it had been hard to drop anything with Ser constantly looking back over his shoulder. The reins of their horse had been tied to his pack horse. Tuck had dropped the potion he’d grabbed while he wrestled an unconscious Anders onto his horse. The first full day of traveling it had been a little easier to periodically drop something from the packs that had been left on their horse.

Today Ser hadn’t looked over his shoulder very often at all. He seemed to be much more interested in whatever he was doing to Anders. It would have been very easy for him to jump off the horse and run into the bushes. Gabe would have probably told him he was stupid for not doing it. As odd as they were, Anders seemed to genuinely want to help him. Even Fenris with his hard eyes and all the scowls was kinder than many of the people who ran the orphanage.

Besides the fact that he had no idea where they were at, Tuck knew without a single doubt that Fenris wouldn’t stop looking until he’d found Anders. His best chance to be rid of this creepy man was to stick with the mage and help how he could. He also didn’t really want to leave them. Anders had been more patient with him than many of the sisters. Tuck had a feeling that he’d only scratched the surface of what he’d need to know to use magic properly without becoming demon food.

Tuck was fed the same awful stuff that the man put in everything Anders was given to eat and drink. On the trail today he made a happy discovery. Either Ser wasn’t used to giving this stuff to growing children or he simply didn’t care. Whatever it was had worn off by afternoon and he spent quite a bit of it making tiny amounts of fire in his cupped hands while he listened to Anders whimper every once in a while.

The stuff upset his stomach a little but it seemed to upset Anders’ stomach a lot. Tonight he was whiter than normal and very shaky after Ser had sat on him to untie his arms. He sat with his legs crossed, hunched over and staring at his lap. Tuck was worried about him but didn’t dare say anything with Ser sitting across the fire watching them closely with a smug smile. Instead he inched closer until their knees touched.

Anders gave him a brief wan smile. Tuck stared at the fire and waited. When they heard Ser stand, the funny looking bell he had tied to his belt jingling, Anders cringed and muttered. He scooted away quickly and watched the man haul Anders into the bushes after a threatening look. Tuck waited until they had disappeared before hurrying over to the horse. He pulled a folded coat out and hid it half in the tall grass behind him, a large rock placed on it to keep the wind from blowing it away. With that done he sat back down at his place by the fire.

They spent much longer in the bushes than the two previous nights. Tuck was almost ready to follow when they finally reappeared. Anders was dropped into a sitting position next to him, his ponytail undone, eyes wide and breathing heavily. Ser smirked down at them before laying on his bedroll across the fire. Tuck watched as he laced his hands together on his stomach and closed his eyes.

“Anders,” Tuck whispered as the older man fell bonelessly over onto his side. He didn’t get an answer right away, Anders had curled up and was trying to throw up but nothing was coming out. Tuck tentatively touched his arm when the spasms finally stopped. “Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” he replied in a tired hoarse whisper.

He didn’t believe it but there was also nothing he could do. Tuck had never wanted to see the scary elf more than he did right then.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This nasty business is almost done, one more chapter. This chapter isn't pretty so...prepare yourselves. Thanks for sticking with me.

Anders was half-awake already when he was jerked upright the next morning like he had been the two previous ones. He was pulled into the woods and even though he couldn’t be completely sure, he was positive they were in the same spot he’d been taken to last night. That jingling sound that always announced his tormenter sent dread throughout him. Ser had been utterly silent last night when he’d been forced to his knees, gagging on the man’s cock, that sound ringing in his ears with every deep thrust.

Ser was quiet so far but that didn’t last. “Good morning lovely,” he said in a sickeningly cheerful tone. “I have a few things for you.”

Anders grunted noncommittally and waited to see if he’d be taking in the man’s cock again this morning. Nervous dread settled in his gut when, instead of simply freeing his prick like he’d been doing, Anders’ felt his trousers shoved to his knees along with his small clothes. The leather armor Ser wore actually did little to hide the raging erection that was pressed against his bare arse. He felt hands caressing his hips before sliding forward, one ending up cupping his balls and the other held his flaccid cock.

“Do try to hurry,” Ser said indulgently. “We’ve got a lot to do and we don’t want your dull witted young friend to get suspicious.”

Hoping he wouldn’t be doing anymore squeezing, Anders tried to will himself to piss and eventually he did. His prick was shook but instead of having his trousers pulled back up he was walked backwards and then lowered to the ground on his back. Anders heard that maddening jingle move a short distance away but it returned quickly.

“I’m going to fuck you tonight,” Ser said quietly in that same cheerful tone.

Anders stared at nothing, looking straight up at the sky while his boots were removed. He listened to Ser hum a quiet tune as he worked the buckles, wondering what the man was doing if he didn’t plan on screwing him now. His pants and small clothes followed and his legs were lifted. Anders couldn’t stop his pained groan when something was shoved unceremoniously up his arse. It was rather large and extremely uncomfortable but he spared a moment to be thankful it had been slicked with something first.

“This plug is going to open you up quite nicely,” Ser said casually as his legs were lowered back down.

There was another pause and Anders squirmed, trying to push the thing out unsuccessfully. Soon enough those hated hands returned, pulling at his balls and humming. Something was being wrapped around the base of his cock catching his sack as well. It was soft material, wrapped snugly around each of his nuts. The end was tucked around the bundle at the base of his cock.

He whimpered when Ser tapped each of his balls and shuddered when the man stroked his cock a few times. “Good,” he muttered as the hands finally disappeared for a moment. Anders was jerked to his feet and heard the jingling move away but like before it came right back. The plug in his arse was wiggled and he gasped despite himself as it brushed that sensitive spot inside. It was wiggled again and then suddenly the man was pressed against his back. Anders jerked his head away as Ser licked his ear and whimpered again as one ball was tapped lightly.

“You’ll appreciate this pretty red ribbon I think,” he said rubbing both of his balls. “Makes them sensitive.” The plug was wiggled yet again and Anders bit his cheek to stifle a moan. “Just think of what you’re going to be feeling in an hour or so.”

“You’re a dead man,” Anders said in a shaky voice.

“You’re elf isn’t going to find us,” he said his voice heavy with amusement. “The boy isn’t smart enough to run when he’s give every opportunity. Pity that, I’d love to drape your naked body over my lap as we ride and put my fist up your pretty cunt, fuck you with it all day long.”

“Bastard,” growled Anders through gritted teeth.

“Name calling is so juvenile,” Ser said still sounding amused. He pushed the plug, wiggling it until Anders had gasped again. “You’re right though. I’m just a sick bastard who enjoys his job. It’s nothing personal. Now, it’s such a shame you hide that fine ass. You’re in luck though. I just happen to have a skirt that will fit you perfectly. Mages are supposed to wear skirts anyway.”

Anders didn’t fuss and followed Ser’s directions. He knew immediately that this wasn’t an average skirt. The waist sat low on his hips and was a little tight across his arse. It flared out around mid-thigh and he could feel slits in the fabric at both sides. It was a light weight material, either silk or satin, and ended just above his ankles. There was an appreciative hum and he shuddered as both of his arse cheeks were petted.

“Much better,” Ser said approvingly. The hands at his rear slid to his hips and he was pulled back, the plug jostled as Ser rubbed his crotch on his arse. “The red suits you. You’ll look even better with the lovely shirt that goes with it.”

“Can I have my small clothes and boots back at least,” Anders asked trying to ignore the way the plug pressed on that spot every now and again.

“No and no,” said Ser softly in his ear. “You see, now all I have to do is flip up your skirt to fuck your pretty cunt. I’ll just have to pull up the front while you piss and drop it when you’re done. No bothersome laces.” He licked up the shell of his ear again and Anders jerked away.

“It’ll be easier to get to this too,” Ser whispered sounding smug. A hand was pushed under the stretchy waist of the skirt and Anders bit his tongue when he lightly gripped one ball then the other. The pain wasn’t nearly as bad as what he’d endured most of the day yesterday but it was very intense. It did cause his gut to churn a little faster though.

“I have a nice pair of crimson slippers for your feet,” he said casually. His hands disappeared and he stepped away from him. “It’s too bad you can’t see yourself,” Ser added regretfully and he clamped a hand around Anders’ arm. “You’ll look good enough to eat when I get that shirt on you.”

Anders stumbled along after him, gasping and out of breath when he was finally dropped to the ground. Tuck made a surprised noise that was quickly stifled but said nothing. Ser hurried them through breakfast and he was soon on the horse, feeling that damnable plug move inside him with every step the beast took. The skirt rode up to mid-thigh and Ser constantly had a hand under it, rubbing and tapping his balls. The ribbon was loosened after an hour or so but Anders was given no relief. His nipples were pinched and pulled painfully until his balls were once more tied up.

He couldn’t stop the whimpers and groans but he did keep them quiet. His cock hardened from all the stimulation despite the pain and the simple fact that he didn’t want any of it. Justice raged impotently in his head and his stomach continued its lazy roll throughout from the magebane. Anders wanted it to stop but he could do nothing without his magic and his arms uselessly tied behind his back. All he could do was try to stay quiet and wait for the smallest opportunity. He fervently hoped it came before his minimal diet and the magebane addled and weakened him further.

*

Fenris had found quite a collection of their things. His gauntlets he’d put on immediately upon finding them. The rest he’d either tied to the horse somehow or stuffed into his pack which was now overflowing. The horse was tied nearby, cropping at the grass he’d found Anders’ coat in. The sun had been setting then and though he didn’t want to he’d had to stop and rest.

He sat against a tree and closed his eyes with the coat held close to his chest. The smell of elfroot was still strong on the fabric despite the added salt and dust. It was comforting and it followed him down into sleep but didn’t keep his troubled dreams at bay. Hours later he jerked awake and stood, putting the coat to his nose and inhaling deeply. It was then tucked onto the horse and Fenris hurried on, searching by the light of a full moon. His dread and fury grew in equal measure the longer this chase went on but he focused on catching up and finding Anders whole. Even the Maker Himself couldn’t stop Fenris from unleashing his fury on whoever had taken his mage.

*

The skirt had been disturbing enough. All of the soft noises Tuck had heard while they rode today had been worse. The shirt was almost more than he could stand. Anders had struggled mightily before Ser even had him on the ground. The fight went out of him after a vicious knee to the crotch that doubled the mage over with a scream of pain Tuck could still hear. Even his bits ached in sympathy when he was forced onto his stomach and Ser plopped down on his bottom.

His arms had been untied and moved around, Anders groaning all throughout, then the regular shirt he’d been wearing had been cut off. The flimsy red thing Ser had replaced it with was hardly a shirt at all. It stopped well above his belly button and left his arms and shoulders completely bare. The whole get up reminded Tuck of some dancers he and Gabe had snuck out to see about a year ago, the girl outfit. The pigtails Ser had braided his hair into while dinner cooked over the fire didn’t help that image a bit.

They had spent a long time in the surrounding woods again. Anders had been wide eyed with his mouth pressed into a thin line when they finally came back. Ser was sleeping across the fire and Tuck sat behind Anders as he lay shivering and curled into a tight ball. Tuck hadn’t spoken, it was very clear that his new mentor was miles away from all right. Instead he moved the skirt to cover more of his bare legs and draped the ruined shirt over his top half.

Tomorrow he’d burn through the rope that had been tied to the manacles around his wrists. He was positive he could get the long knife away from Ser. Tuck hoped that he could muster enough courage to use it.


	15. Chapter 15

It was bad enough that Ser had forced him to orgasm before they stopped for the night. Being sat on with the plug still lodged in his arse was worse. At least his balls had been untied before Ser had done his best to crush them with his knee. The ribbon had been wound back around them after he’d been dragged into the woods. Even spending the entire night with the plug moving around every time he shifted wasn’t the worst.

Last night he’d been gagged and forced to his knees, his cheek pressed into the ground. Only the tight grip on his hips as the man slammed into him ruthlessly over and over again kept him on his knees. His pained cries were muffled but he could still hear that jingling because Ser was once again completely silent, only a grunt when he’d finally coated Anders’ insides with his seed. That was humiliating enough but having the man’s cock stuffed inside him, his pelvis flush with Anders’ arse, while his balls were tortured, and his nipples toyed with had made him feel like weeping. He’d been forced to orgasm yet again before it was finally over. Even that wasn’t the worst.

This morning Anders hadn’t been pushed to the ground, just forced to bend over as the skirt was flipped up. The plug was removed and tucked between his bound arms and his back. Slick was poured over his abused hole before Ser pounded into him, his legs spread wide and desperately trying to keep from falling. The hands at his hips pulling him back was the only thing that kept Anders upright, listening to that maddening jingle. The worst thing about the last two days was knowing that this man wouldn’t stop until he had submitted completely.

Anders felt numb as his arse was cleaned of the slick after the plug had been reinserted. His balls were bound and he was fondled everywhere by those hated hands. It seemed to take forever before he could empty his bladder. Now back on the horse, the plug moving around inside with every step, his balls tied up tapped and squeezed lightly, he felt his body betraying him once more. He shut his eyes, unable to stop the noises, knowing it was a physical reaction to the stimulation being forced on him. Anders refused to cry or give in but he feared his strength was waning quickly.

He had no idea how much time had passed when the hands on his chest gave his nipples a savage twist. Anders couldn’t help his whimper. He felt the shirt pulled back up slightly and the hands moved down his chest and stomach then over his thighs until they were back under his skirt.

“You are the sweetest piece of ass I’ve ever had,” Ser whispered passionately close to his ear.

“I’m honored,” Anders muttered with as much sarcasm as he could muster.

“You should be,” he continued seriously as he wound the ribbon back around his balls. “I’ve been up a lot of cunts but yours…so pretty, so inviting…I’d love to have my cock up your beautiful cunt right now.” Ser hummed and Anders whined as his balls were squeezed. The horse stopped moving suddenly and Anders was relieved when both hands disappeared.

“Sit tight lovely,” Ser said eagerly. “I can’t wait until tonight to plumb your depths again. I’m so fucking hard…maybe I’ll keep you instead.” Anders grimaced when his ear was licked. “Just going to tie the boy to the horse so he doesn’t get any ideas about following, then I’ll be back.”

“Don’t hurry,” said Anders as he disappeared entirely and the jingling moved away.

This was likely the only opportunity that he would get. Anders threw his leg over the horse’s head and slid off, gritting his teeth together when the plug was jostled. Ser made a surprised but pained noise behind him and he heard Tuck yell, “To your right Anders! Run!”

There was an angry roar from Ser and a frightened curse from Tuck but Anders turned to his right and hurried in that direction as fast as he was able to, hoping the boy would be able to get away as well. Branches caught at the ridiculous skirt he wore and Anders slowed a little, hunched over, scared of knocking himself out on a tree that he couldn’t see. Ser cursed angrily and he heard the familiar sound of a fireball followed by a triumphant shout from Tuck before the woods swallowed him completely.

“Take that you creepy fuck!”

Another roar from Ser but Anders shuddered uncontrollably at what he heard next. “I’ll be back for you, you little shit.”

Seconds later he heard the big man crashing through the brush behind him. Anders hurried on but stumbled over something and fell to his knees. He could hear the jingling behind him and he managed to stand upright, dread settling over him. He took a few more hurried steps forward but stumbled again and fell back to his knees.

“No!” he yelled in despair crawling forward on his knees as the jingling grew closer still.

His feet were yanked and Anders fell to the ground crying out in pain and fear. He tried to kick out of Ser’s grasp but he was dragged back, the skirt riding up and his balls in exquisite pain as they were ran along the rough ground. Anders screamed but continued to try and break the hold on his ankles. Ser growled in frustration and suddenly his legs were loose. Anders squirmed away from the jingling he could still hear and felt like weeping. He stilled when a kick to his gut sent the air whooshing out of him. Anders rolled to his side, gasping for breath and trying not to vomit at the same time.

“Better get comfortable lovely,” Ser snarled viciously as he circled Anders. “You’re day just got worse.” Anders was lifted bodily and draped over something rough. It was the last indignity his stomach would suffer. He heaved several times before the skirt was flipped up. “I’m going to turn your ass red. Then I’m going to fuck you so hard you’ll still be sore when I fuck you tonight. Howl for me lovely. You’ve been a very bad boy.”

Blow after blow was rained down on his arse cheeks, one hand at the small of his back holding him onto what had to be a fallen tree and Anders howled. Suddenly there was another roar, this one very familiar and extremely furious. Ser was suddenly gone and Anders fell from his precarious perch, the skirt somehow falling perfectly to cover him. He listened to Fenris’ enraged howling and his captor’s pained and frightened screams. He lay unmoving, panting heavily, his stomach roiling, his balls aching and his arse burning.

“Andraste’s sweet tits,” Tuck cursed in a terrified whisper close to his head. “I’ve never seen anything so…so…gah!”

“Don’t watch,” Anders said tiredly, his voice hoarse. “Help me sit up and untie my arms.”

“Yeah…Yeah…untie…I can do that,” said Tuck in a shaky voice.

He was helped to his knees and listened to the one-sided battle in front of him as he felt Tuck’s small hands working on the knots that held his arms. The boy remained behind him when he was finally free. The sounds in front of him stopped with a snarl from Fenris and a gurgle from Ser. After shaking his arms briefly to get some feeling back into them, Anders rose up a little and removed the plug from his arse with a small relieved sigh. He dropped it between his knees, under the skirt, and began working on freeing his balls when he caught the familiar scent of lyrium.

“Anders,” Fenris said in concern from directly in front of him. “Are you all right?”

“Not really,” said Anders with a weak grin. “I’ve never been so glad to smell lyrium though.”

Fenris snorted and he felt his hands on his shoulders. Anders sighed again, finally having managed to work the ribbon off. It was dropped between his knees with the plug and he brought his hands out from under the skirt. Anders pulled the elf to him, burying his face in Fenris’ neck. A few silent tears escaped his eyes as he clung desperately to him. The arms he could feel moving around him were familiar, patting his shoulder in a comfortingly awkward way.

“What do you require?” Fenris asked softly after a moment.

“A very hot bath,” said Anders immediately in a shaky voice.

“Something I might be able to provide right now?” he asked in a very serious tone.

“Rest,” he said pushing himself away wearily. He forced back his feelings knowing there would be time later to fall apart like he wanted to. “We can discuss this later.”

“Can…can I undo the braids?” Tuck said shyly from behind him.

“You just threw a fireball at a very dangerous man and you’re worried about my hair?” said Anders with a weak chuckle.

“It looks stupid,” Tuck said defensively. “So does the skirt and that weird shirt. Why did he make you wear them?”

“To humiliate me,” he sighed. “Go ahead and pick them out. I’m sure it does look pretty stupid. Search what’s left of him Fenris. He was hired by someone to catch me and take me to the Tower.”

“Remain here,” Fenris said softly pressing his lips to Anders cheek briefly. “I will bring your coat and search his remains.”

Anders nodded and silence fell as he stood and hurried away. He sat still, aching in so many places while Tuck unraveled the braids. “Thank you for staying,” he said quietly crossing his arms over his stomach, shuddering at what might have happened if Tuck had fled.

“I’ve still got a lot to learn,” said Tuck earnestly. “It took me three tries to burn through the rope and I did get him with a fireball but it only cooked his hair a little. Besides…you’re a nice guy.”

“I’ve done some awful things Tuck,” said Anders sadly.

“Not to me,” he replied dismissively. After a moment of silence his hair was mussed and he sensed the boy moving to sit beside him. “Gabe and I have done some bad things but I don’t think I’m a bad person…not like him. What did…are you…umm…shit…is there anything I can do to help you?”

“You curse like a sailor,” said Anders turning his head a little as he smiled.

“Gabe’s worse,” Tuck said. “Always drove Sister Julia batty.” Anders could hear the smile in his voice but there was only concern when he continued. “Seriously though…all those noises and last night…I just…umm…I didn’t know what to do.”

“Your concern is touching,” he said warmly. “He did hurt me…but I’ll be all right. You did what you could and I appreciate it. Are you all right?”

“Twisted my ankle when I jumped off the horse,” he said indifferently. “Here comes Fenris.”

Tuck fell silent and moved away shortly before he felt something draped over his shoulders. Anders worked his arms through the sleeves as Fenris spoke. “There was nothing incriminating on him. I will search his pack horse later. Are you well enough to ride?”

“Yes,” Anders said tiredly.

“Come,” said Fenris softly. “There is a house ahead. We may reach it before nightfall.”

He nodded and was helped to his feet. It was a slow walk back to the horses and an involved process getting him on the beast. Anders’ arse was sore and his stomach still upset. The ache in his balls had subsided somewhat but he could feel those hated hands all over him. He held onto Fenris tightly, his lean body familiar and comforting, his head resting on the elf’s shoulder, trying to ignore the phantom hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank the Maker that's over. Not sure how fast more chapters will be posted. The healing bit is difficult and I might get snagged like I did with Faded Spirits. I'll try to be timely however.


	16. Chapter 16

The farm they reached turned out to be abandoned. The sun hadn’t set yet but it was close to it. The house hadn’t been burned down this time but Fenris had only been in there a few minutes before he came back out shaking his head. Tuck had been left by the barn with Anders. He had watched the older mage lean against an outside wall, the black coat pulled tightly around him. The red skirt that he still hadn’t changed out of fluttered in the small breeze below where the coat ended at his knees. It wasn’t cold at all but Anders stood there shivering and hugging himself.

Tuck had led the horses into the barn after Anders had looked up at the approaching elf. He’d led each horse into its own stall and kept himself busy by taking the saddles off. Since there were now three of them plus the pack horse it had taken a while. He watched them as he worked. They spoke in low tones, Fenris helping him to sit in one of the big open area across from him.

There was a lot more touching than there had been before. Their interactions before Ser had been almost cautious. Now Anders was constantly holding onto him somewhere. Fenris was very careful about where he put his hands, gripping a shoulder lightly or gentle strokes to his hair. The elf came to help him with the pack horse only after Anders had touched his cheek and smiled as he whispered something Tuck couldn’t hear.

Suddenly Tuck knew that they were like Oliver and Cassie, a couple. They were just two other kids in the orphanage that were a year or two older than Gabe but they were inseparable. They could often be found holding hands or sitting so close to each other their legs touched. Tuck would never forget the day he’d been sent to fetch Oliver and found them in the attic with their lips locked together and their hands on each other’s bits. Everyone had been embarrassed and Tuck had been sworn to secrecy.

He had often wondered just exactly what Anders and Fenris meant to each other. They were obviously friends but slept together under the same blanket. Tuck wouldn’t have slept with any of his friends like that. Then there were the looks. When Fenris wasn’t scowling at him or speaking with Anders he often watched the mage. It was all those wide-eyed puppy looks that made him positive that the elf would search for them.

Despite the rather odd way they had acted during the day Tuck couldn’t think of a reason for them to like sleeping together. Fenris and Anders were always tangled together when they woke and often stayed that way for a while. One couldn’t avoid certain places touching other certain places when one was _that close_ to someone else. Tuck had always been an early riser but over the last month he’d pretended to be asleep until their quiet whispers had stopped and one of them rose to water the bushes.

It had been a diversion before. Just something to keep his mind busy when he wasn’t being glared at or frustrated because he couldn’t seem to get the hang of things Anders was teaching him. It was something to keep him from worrying about all the things that could happen to a mage and distract him from missing Gabe. As the night progressed Tuck became actively curious about them. He figured this sudden change was because of what Ser had done but why had they seemed apart before?

Anders had looked pretty tense all night unless he knew the elf was near. Fenris didn’t hover but he seemed to know that the mage wanted him close. After a spot had been cleared and a fire set, Tuck actually managed to get it lit the first try, Anders had insisted on seeing his ankle. That was fairly normal, as was the elf’s refusal to let the mage anywhere near the cook pot. He’d eaten little of the extremely thin stew and was unusually quiet all night. Now that it was really late Anders was curled up into a tight ball under a blanket with his head resting on Fenris’ lap.

Tuck had seen more concerned looks from the normally stoic or downright sour warrior in the last few hours than he had the entire previous month. He watched the elf stare down at him silently, one hand on his knee and the other resting lightly on Anders’ shoulder. Many questions drifted through his mind but Tuck kept them locked away. Everything fled from his mind when the worried look moved from Anders to Tuck, worry turning to something intense that always made his stomach drop and his knees turn to jelly.

“His arms were bound the whole time?” Fenris asked quietly.

He nodded and pulled his knees up to his chest. Tuck wrapped his arms around them but met his gaze even though he wanted to hide from those cold chips of jade.

“It was you who left me a trail,” he said just as quietly. Tuck nodded again and watched as Fenris looked down at Anders, his face softening a little. “I must thank you. Your…bravery…saved him from much suffering.”

“Not enough,” Tuck said sadly. “Anders told me that…he hurt him.”

“Anders has told me little,” Fenris said looking back up. He was suddenly frowning and his anger was almost a living thing but his voice was weirdly calm as he continued. “I have suspicions however. There’s nothing more you could have done.”

Tuck pulled his blanket around him as silence fell. He thought of Ser’s grisly death and shuddered, wondering what a nice person like Anders saw in the frightening elf. Fenris was watching Anders sleep, the hand at his shoulder still and the other stroking his hair lightly. The wicked looking claws that he had been wearing were sitting beside him. After the violence he’d unleashed on Ser it was strange to see Fenris being so gentle.

“What are you?” Tuck asked softly after he’d gathered his courage.

Fenris looked up at him and one corner of his mouth turned up. “An elf,” he said dryly. “Do I frighten you, mageling?”

He nodded silently and pulled the blanket tighter around him.

“There is no need, though I doubt you will believe just me,” Fenris said. “Go to sleep. We will be staying here for a few days and there will be things to do in the morning.”

Tuck nodded as he lay on his side. It was a while before he managed to go to sleep however.

*

Anders woke with a jerk and a whimper, hearing the jingling and feeling hands that weren’t there. Fenris pulled him closer for a moment and mumbled something too low for him to understand. Anders took a deep breath and opened his eyes to see the fire had burned down to dim coals. Tuck was snoring somewhere ahead of him and Fenris was curled around him. The breath he could feel on his neck was comforting. He carefully tried to work his way out from under Fenris’ arm draped over him.

“Anders,” Fenris murmured sitting up with him. “Are you all right?”

“Fine,” he lied. “I have to pee.”

“We found your staff on the pack horse,” said Fenris sleepily. “Do you want me to come with you?”

“No,” said Anders feeling around for the familiar length of wood. “Just point me in a good direction.” He felt Fenris’ hand close over his and it was set on top of the staff.

“We have been using the furthest corner of the barn directly in front of you,” he whispered.

“I’ll be right back,” said Anders softly as he shrugged out of his coat.

He’d been too tired and hurt earlier to care much about his clothing. Now that his stomach had settled somewhat and he didn’t ache in quite so many places Anders wanted nothing more than to be rid of them thinking that perhaps it was the skirt he could feel. The air was pleasantly cool on his skin, the soft material rippling around his legs as he slowly made his way across the barn. His staff hit the wall lightly and he ran a hand along it stopping after only a few feet.

Anders propped the staff next to him and fumbled with the odd catches of the top. He let it fall to the ground and immediately pushed the skirt over his hips. It fluttered down and he put a hand back on the wall, stepping backwards out of it. With his staff in hand once again he took another step backwards. Anders stood there for a moment, deciding that he did actually need to pee. He held his own cock for the first time in days and let his water flow, hoping that he’d managed to soak the soft material. Maybe he’d burn the clothes tomorrow when his mana had hopefully regenerated.

Instead of returning to Fenris, Anders felt his way along the wall of the barn until he stood in the large doorway. His free hand was rubbing his abdomen and the other had his staff in a white knuckle grip. He could still feel hands on him, caressing his arse, shaking his cock, running along his thighs, tugging his balls. He shuddered and was unaware of his own hand mimicking what he could feel.

“Anders?” Fenris said quietly from behind him.

“Fenris,” said Anders turning slightly, surprised but at the same time not.

“Come back to bed,” he said gently.

Shaking his head, Anders turned back towards the outside he could sense. “Help me,” he said after a brief pause.

“How?” said Fenris tenderly as he placed a hand on his shoulder.

“Stand behind me,” whispered Anders. “Close…touch me...” He felt Fenris against him, chest pressed to his back and his leggings against his bare arse. Familiar hands circled him, his head a comforting weight on his shoulder and slowly he relaxed. They stood like that for a while, both quiet.

Anders propped his staff against the nearby wall and put his hands on top of Fenris’. “He knew things,” he said softly after another brief pause. “He knew exactly how to incapacitate me without a fight. Knew that he couldn’t intimidate me…knew exactly how to make me dread his presence without being able to see him. Sound and touch…his hands…I still feel his hands. Everywhere any chance he could get. All the time after he…please…get rid of them.”

He nudged Fenris’ hands downwards and they continued, settling on his hips. Anders let his hang at his sides and he felt a gentle kiss at his shoulder. His hands continued down the outside of his thighs and up the front. Anders concentrated on the feel of them and not what Fenris was actually doing. Slender fingers running through the coarse hair and the slight tingle of the lyrium imbedded into them. There were calluses caused by swinging a giant sword around constantly.

They were familiar, wanted and sometimes surprising. He thought of many mornings spent in idle cuddling or how at ease he’d been with his scarred hands cupping his sack or a finger ran lightly up the underside of his cock. There was never pain when Fenris touched him, only a gentleness few would believe the normally violent elf could possess. The unwanted hands were gone for the moment and few tears ran down his cheeks unnoticed.

Fenris led him back to their bedroll after a time. Anders fell asleep with the elf pressed closely around him, a hand resting on his hip. He let the Fade claim him thinking that what he couldn’t feel against his arse was just as important as the loving touches elsewhere.


	17. Chapter 17

The morning had passed in a mostly normal fashion. Fenris had a bowl of thin porridge ready for Anders when he woke. Tuck was already up and gathering wood by that point. Anders ate better than he had last night but not as heartily as he normally did. Nothing was said about the previous night and Fenris respected his desire not to speak about it. The mage didn’t get his bath but he did spend some time scrubbing himself from a bucket drawn from the well however.

Fenris watched him apprehensively as he and Tuck fed and watered the horses. There were little things he could see that proved Anders was suffering, such as the way he’d rubbed the soap over his arse three separate times before he was satisfied. His smile was too quick and too wide. The staff wasn’t usually very far from his grasp but if he wasn’t standing it sat across his lap.

Tuck’s lessons were continued as if the break in their routine hadn’t happened. Fenris watched from a distance, as he had before. Anders seemed fairly normal but a hand strayed to his stomach often and he wondered if the mage wasn’t trying to brush away the feeling of hands.

It had been easy to control his ire in the middle of the night. As he watched now though he found it growing difficult. Fenris was positive that more had happened beyond touching. He was reluctant to bring it up however. Forcing him to relive something he wasn’t ready to confront would make things worse. Fenris wasn’t sure what he could do to help anyway beyond listening when Anders was ready and doing as he asked. It didn’t help his growing desire to ride back and mutilate the corpse however.

He spent some time before lunch practicing with his sword to try and curb some of his anger. Tuck had spent all morning glancing at him and it wouldn’t make the mageling less afraid of him if he lost his temper. After a light lunch Fenris settled next to Anders at the cold fire with Ser’s packs. Tuck sat across from them and he listened to their conversation with growing amusement as he began searching the contents.

“Are you two…umm…married or something?” Tuck asked nervously picking at a loose thread on his shirt.

“No,” Anders said with the first genuine smile Fenris had seen so far today. “We _are_ together…sort of.”

“Sort of?” said Tuck in confusion.

“It’s…complicated,” said Anders. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, you sleep together but since…umm…well you touch each other a lot more now,” he said hesitantly studiously gazing at his boots.

Fenris smiled but continued going through one of the packs. Anders’ hand was currently resting on his knee and it didn’t move as he thought for a moment. “How old are you?” he asked eventually.

“Twelve,” said Tuck looking up.

“Not very interested in girls yet?” Anders said with a hint of amusement.

“Not really,” Tuck said with a shrug. “I have seen a girl’s bits though.”

That last was spoken with a note of pride and Fenris shook his head as he set the pack of rations aside and grabbed another. “Did she get to see your bits?” Anders asked with a hint of a smile.

“Well yeah,” said Tuck. “That was the deal right? She was pretty…soft looking and round…but…” He trailed off and shrugged.

“You’ll understand Fenris and I a little better in a few years,” said Anders still amused. “When your voice deepens and you start growing hair all over.”

“You’re not going to give me the baby talk are you?” he asked suspiciously. “Brother David lectured me for hours after Ben squealed on me and Jenny.”

“Oh Maker,” said Anders sounding horrified and entertained at the same time. “You were caught?”

“Yeah,” Tuck said sullenly. “Ben’s older and I guess he thought…blech…I didn’t want to touch her, just have a look.”

“You will not find the idea so repulsive in a few more years,” Fenris said confidently as he set another pack of food stuffs aside.

“I guess,” said Tuck skeptically. He took a deep breath and continued on. “So why do you two…sleep together. You obviously can’t make a baby.”

“The simple answer is because we want to,” Anders explained seriously. “And just because you sleep in the same bed with someone doesn’t necessarily mean you’re going to have sex with them.”

Anders continued speaking with Tuck listening raptly but the contents of the third pack commanded his full attention. He stared into it for a few moments before looking back up. “I will return momentarily,” he said as he stood.

“Fenris?” Anders said nervously.

“All is well,” Fenris said trying to sound reassuring.

He took the pack and left the barn quickly walking along the outside wall and stopping when he’d reached the middle of the long end. Fenris knelt and carefully upended it, staring for a few minutes unsure if he were more horrified or angry. There were four anal plugs of varying lengths and width, each made of a different material. He found nipple clamps, some plain and some decorative. Several large bottles of oil, some labeled with a scent. Two more sets of clothing like Anders had been wearing, one a light blue and the other a dark green. There were several ribbons, each one a color of one of the outfits.

Fenris stuffed everything that would burn back into the pack after a thorough search of it. He found several metal rings and a long thin strip of rounded and polished steel. After a quick glance over his shoulder, Fenris gathered the bottles of oil, two of the anal plugs, all of the nipple clamps, all of the metal rings and the strip of steel. Leaving the pack where it was he hurried a short distance away and hurled them into a nearby field.

He took his time walking back into the barn with the pack. The man had set out with the express purpose of turning Anders into his personal body slave and then turning him over to the Templars in the Circle Tower. What they would have done with him Fenris didn’t want to contemplate. He wondered how many others he had broken and was fiercely glad that he wouldn’t get the chance to do it again.

His anger hadn’t abated much when he dropped the pack on the ashes of last night’s fire. “Burn it,” he growled as he sat back down next to Anders.

Tuck emitted a frightened squeak but Anders said grimly, “Do I want to know what’s in that?”

“No,” Fenris said shortly pulling over another pack.

Without any further words or hesitation Anders leaned over and set it aflame. “Come on Tuck,” Anders said calmly as he stood. “Let’s go outside and see if you’re a primal mage.”

Fenris was grateful that Anders knew him well. They spent the next few hours outside and he spent them inside searching through the rest of the packs. He was still furious but better able to control his temper by the time he left the barn with a pack filled with nothing but magebane. These bottles he threw at the side of the house.

There were two more packs of provisions along with one that held Ser’s personal items. Since he’d found the magebane the food was likely safe but he asked an extremely nervous Tuck how their meals had been prepared just to be sure. Among the extra clothes Fenris found a sheaf of papers and a very large coin purse. After getting their supper cooking over the fire he’d set Tuck to counting the coins while he shuffled through the papers with the aid of a ball of light summoned by Anders.

The handwriting was meticulously neat and unfamiliar. He skimmed through six pages covered from top to bottom that seemed to contain a disturbingly detailed account about Anders. He also found four pages that detailed little known facts about Hawke. There was no name at the end, only a brief entreaty that the Maker smile upon the monster who’d read these papers first. He sighed as he straightened them out, knowing he’d have to go through them more carefully.

Tuck was still counting, surrounded by little piles of sovereigns, but Anders seemed lost in thought. His hand was rubbing at his stomach again, the other gripping his staff tightly as it lay across his lap. Wanting only to distract him, Fenris found the name at the very beginning.

“Anders,” he said. “What is S-E-R-G-E?”

The mage looked up and cocked his head to the side. “A name. Orlesian I think. Sometimes pronounced like surge or ser-gay. Why do you ask?”

“It’s at the very beginning of these papers. I think…” Fenris began.

“What an asshole!” Tuck interrupted angrily. His voice became slightly deeper and mocking. “You may call me Ser.” Fenris arched an eyebrow as the boy continued, voice rising in anger and his hands clenched into fists. “Letting us think he was a knight or something and it was just his short name.”

“A coincidence he used to his advantage many times I’m sure,” Anders said calmly. “Why are you so angry?”

“My dad was a knight,” Tuck said fiercely. “He trained for years to earn that title!”

“Was he very important?” Fenris asked thinking of the Templars in the village for the first time in days. “The Templars still search for you.”

“I’m not sure,” said Tuck uncertainly. “I know he worked in the palace. I don’t actually remember much of my dad but Gabe’s told me a lot.”

“It’s not too unusual for them to still be searching,” Anders said. “They’ll want to get him to the Tower before he gets any funny ideas about freedom.”

“I saw at least twelve Templars in that tiny village,” said Fenris seriously. “That’s a little excessive for one boy who is a bit small for his age.”

“Andraste’s knickers,” said Anders arching his eyebrows. “Did they watch you and your brother more than the other kids at the orphanage?”

“They did,” Tuck replied slowly after a long moment of silence. “Yeah… now that I think about it. Oh, there are seventy sovereigns here.”

“Probably a down payment,” Anders said grimly. “A fraction of the grand total.” He frowned and shuddered, his next words barely audible. “Along with a substantial bonus if…”

Anders shuddered again and shook his head. Fenris could guess what conditions needed to be met for the bonus. He folded the papers in half and tucked them away in one of their packs. The coin was gathered back into the pouch and put in the same pack. They spent the rest of the night discussing what Tuck knew of his deceased parents.

With the sun having set long ago, the fire burning low, Tuck sleeping across from them, both Fenris and Anders lay awake. The mage couldn’t seem to get comfortable. He rolled from one side to the other, spent a very brief amount of time on his stomach and ended up on his back. Fenris shifted patiently with him each time. His head rested on Anders’ shoulder, the mage’s arm around him. Because he was still unsure where they stood with each other, Fenris kept his hands to safe areas.

Eventually Anders silently encouraged their hips together, his leg in between the mage’s because it was more comfortable. Fenris could still feel how tense Anders was. After another long pause, he whined softly, wordlessly and nudged Fenris’ hand that was curled up on his belly downward. He paused at the waistband of his trousers, wanting to make sure that he had permission.

“Yes,” Anders whispered his arms tightening around him for a few seconds.

Under his trousers and small clothes, Fenris felt him shiver at the first touch. Gradually the mage relaxed. Fenris was careful with his touches, trying not to arouse but to just let him feel like he had the night before. The elf remained awake long after the mage had fallen asleep, wondering how long it would take to get rid of the feel of those unwanted hands. He was glad Anders was seeking comfort from him instead of pushing him away but he worried that it wouldn’t be possible for them to remain in any one place for very long.


	18. Chapter 18

Anders couldn’t say he was very thrilled to be back on a horse. He was glad that more distance was being put between him and his tormenter. Perhaps it would be easier to forget the feel of those hands. It had been easier to ignore the previous few days. Teaching Tuck had been a wonderful distraction. There was precious little to keep his mind off of the whole ordeal now. The movement of the horse under him wasn’t helping either.

So far it had been worst in the morning and in the evenings. He was a little amazed at how much he dreaded those brief periods of time after he woke and before he went to sleep. Four or five days was nothing compared to the year he’d spent in solitary. He’d done what he had to that year to survive. Servicing a few Templars for wearable robes and a bath every once in a while wasn’t much different than what he’d done above in the Tower proper. Lifting his skirts or parting theirs while he was on his knees had been a small price, and most often an enjoyable one, for what he gained.

Templars weren’t generally into torture however. They bent you over the nearest handy surface, pulled your skirts up and pounded you until they were spent. You got a favor, they were content and both walked away satisfied. Some were brutal but he’d never been constantly teased by one nor had one tie up his sack so they could expend less energy to hurt him.

Even before he’d truly begun Ser had been constant. Being fondled every time he had to pee had been bad enough but he might have been able to stand it had the torment ended there. Enduring a cock shoved forcefully down his throat and even up his arse might have been tolerable had it not been for everything else. It was feeling the plug constantly teasing that spot as they rode. It was the continuous ache in his gut from having his balls handled roughly all day long. It was being tugged off because all the unwanted stimulation had made his prick as hard as the one he could consistently feel against his arse.

Anders shuddered and then shifted uncomfortably, trying to scoot closer to Fenris in front of him. The saddle prevented him from getting much closer and he sighed. The elf patted his arm awkwardly but said nothing. So far Fenris had been very understanding and hadn’t pressed him to talk about anything that had happened. That he had also not questioned Anders’ odd request each morning and evening had been very comforting.

He felt slightly guilty for even asking it of him but it did seem to be helping. There was no one else to ask however and at this point Anders wouldn’t trust anyone else anyway. The remembered feel of those hated hands all over him didn’t seem as bad as they had before. That Fenris wasn’t trying to arouse either of them helped immensely as well.

That had been before Fenris had announced it was time to move on. They’d spent three days and four nights at the abandoned farm. It had been easy to forget the hands on his balls and the plug in his arse with an eager student to teach. There wasn’t much he could do from the back of a horse and his student plodding along behind. Maybe if he could still see he’d be riding on his own horse beside Tuck and they could work on simple things. As it stood now it would be just his luck for the stupid horse to carry him away.

After he’d gone through Ser’s packs Fenris had spent the next two days carefully going through the papers he’d found but he wasn’t quite finished with them. The elf had seemed more than a little eager to be gone the more he’d read. Anders had mixed feelings on both staying and leaving but had kept them to himself. He’d already decided that they weren’t taking any more of his suggestions for a while.

From quiet conversations before sleep, Anders had discovered there were eleven pages in total. The six that he’d carefully read through already was a frightening amount of accurate details about Anders. Everything from his favorite foods to where he lived both before and after being blinded as well as numerous details about his fighting style could be found within those six pages. Fenris had told him last night, with tightly controlled fury, that only one of Hawke’s companions could have known some of the facts he found within those pages.

Since all but one of Hawke’s companions had escaped Kirkwall with him it was looking pretty bad for Sebastian if he was ever foolish enough to show himself where Fenris could get to him. It was almost certain Starkhaven’s only remaining Vael had provided the information but Anders seriously doubted that he was the one who had hired Ser. As irritating as the willfully ignorant Brother could be, as angry as he’d been before stalking off to gather an army, hiring someone to rape him repeatedly until his mind was gone just didn’t seem like something Sebastian would do. Vael’s idea of true justice was more along the lines of putting an arrow through his heart or turning him over to Templars straight away.

Either option was much better than being in the hands of a man who would have stripped him naked and draped him over his lap on the horse to shove his fist up Anders’ arse while they rode. He was sort of glad someone had smiled on him to get a considerate rapist that had gone out of his way to spare a twelve year old boy from seeing the atrocities he was committing. That thought sent another shudder through him and he shook his head trying to rid himself of the horrifying image his mind had helpfully supplied.

“Anders,” Fenris said softly with another pat to his arm.

“I’m all right,” he said before the elf could continue. They both knew it was a lie but Fenris didn’t call him on it. After only a few minutes of being prodded by an irritated Justice Anders sighed again and continued. “No I’m not.”

“I am aware of that,” said Fenris softly but irritably. “Speak when you are ready and tell your demon to stop interfering. Perhaps it should have done more to prevent what happened then instead of insisting on things it doesn’t understand now.”

Anders smiled despite the familiar annoyance that flared up within him. “There was nothing he could do with me tied up and without mana,” he said. “You know that.”

Fenris let out an annoyed snort and silence descended once more. Anders tightened his arms around the elf’s midsection for a second. They remained quiet for a time, both glad that the other had chosen not to argue. Tuck was a mostly quiet presence behind them. Anders could hear a muttered curse every now and again and wondered which element was giving him trouble. Inevitably his thoughts returned to Ser and he began speaking softly, a whisper directed to Fenris’ pointed ear that he could feel on his cheek. Anders didn’t really want to talk about any of it. He didn’t want to burden Fenris, who already carried the burden of his own horrifying experiences, with this as well. The words came however much he didn’t want to utter them and Anders let them out with a small hope that it would help.

“I was always in front on the horse. For a couple of days I only had to endure his hands when he took me to piss. That didn’t last. I told him to stop. He didn’t. It got so much worse. Said he’d give me the pain I preferred. Spent that day with my balls in his hand...squeezing…constant agony. That night he…he…”

His voice began shaking and he stopped before the rest of him started trembling as well. Fenris patted his arm, acknowledgement that he’d heard. There was no encouragement but also no discouragement. Anders waited until he felt calmer before continuing.

“That night he forced himself on me. When he took me away from the camp to help me piss. Made sure I felt his dick against me, shaking, with my balls in one of his hands. It took forever to empty my bladder. I was positive he was going start squeezing me again. After…he just…whirled me around. Shoved me to my knees, his prick against my lips, a hand in my hair and the other holding my nose. I had to breathe…”

Anders fell silent again, once more trying to keep himself from trembling.

“That was merely the beginning?” Fenris asked after a long moment.

His voice was steady and soft. To anyone else he probably would have sounded calm but Anders knew better. He’d learned to listen for little changes in the tone of his voice. Anders could usually tell from just a word if the elf was angry or unruffled, pleased or discontent. There was tightly controlled fury in his voice along with a bit of horror.

“Yes,” Anders whispered. “It got a lot worse.”

There was a sudden aggravated noise from behind and the steady clop of Tuck’s horse got a little faster. Anders sat up a little straighter and moved his hands to Fenris’ sides.

“Anders,” Tuck said sounding very frustrated. “Can you show me the ice again? I just can’t get it right.”

“Relax Tuck,” Anders said soothingly. “Practice the lightening for a while if you’re having trouble.”

“I did but it made the horse nervous,” he replied sullenly.

“The first thing you need to do is relax,” said Anders patiently. “Take a deep breath and clear your mind.” Anders waited a moment, listening for his exhale, and then held out his hand. Without a thought he gathered his mana and created a ball of ice in his palm. The weight of it soon disappeared. “If you’re still having trouble with that, try frosting over the manacles on your wrists. That might be a little easier to start with.”

“Okay,” Tuck said the sound of his voice already falling behind. “Thanks.”

Silence fell over them once more. Anders leaned over a little, resting his cheek on Fenris’ shoulder as his arms moved back around his middle. He didn’t feel like talking about it anymore. Fenris didn’t press, just rested his hand on Anders’ arm like he had before.

“Would it be possible to remove the manacles by freezing then smashing them?” he asked after a while.

“I thought of that,” Anders replied. “There’s too much danger. They’re too close to his wrists.”

“We must remove or hide them somehow,” said Fenris. “I believe there is a village ahead of us and we _are not_ splitting up. I wish to listen for rumors. Sleeping in a bed would also be nice.”

“And a bath,” he murmured. “We’ll figure something out.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Possible implied child abuse.

Tuck picked his way carefully around a bush, his arms full of wood. Anders’ hand on his shoulder still felt odd even though they had gathered wood for the evening fire together many times. He’d find decent sized sticks and load Anders’ other arm before filling his own. They often spoke during these forays, the subject usually about his training.

It was a perfect opportunity to ask a few questions without Fenris listening and possibly getting mad. Tuck had seen a few scars on Anders’ arms before Ser had happened but it had been hard to miss the ones on his back after that flimsy red thing had replaced his shirt. He was merely curious about those but hadn’t asked because of the other things he’d noticed.

In the days since Fenris had killed Ser, Anders was different. They were all small things but he’d never done them before. The hand that didn’t have his staff often drifted to his stomach. He was a little obsessive about knowing where Fenris was. On the trail today he’d clung to the elf nearly the entire time. It reminded Tuck of Gabe and all the weird little habits he suddenly had the last few months. Anders didn’t get angry at every little thing like his brother did now but he was a bit quieter and he’d seen the same sort of empty faraway look sometimes.

Tuck knew Ser had been doing something to Anders. He wasn’t at all sure what and he wasn’t sure he wanted to know judging by how angry Fenris had been a few times. He was very interested in whatever had happened to Gabe however. There was no way Anders could know what had happened but maybe if he asked the right questions he could figure something out. Tuck wanted his cheerful mischievous older brother back, not the angry and sometimes mean one that had replaced him. If he knew what event sparked the change maybe he could help Gabe somehow.

His problem was he didn’t quite know what the right questions were. He was running out of time to ask anything right now however. Tuck was reluctant to say anything about Gabe in front of Fenris because the elf still terrified him. Since Fenris was probably at their chosen campsite either going through those papers or preparing dinner he decided to stick with a relatively safe subject.

“What happened to your back?” Tuck asked curiously.

“Templars,” Anders said casually.

“Templars?” he said in shock. Tuck stopped walking and half turned to see a little smirk.

“I was a troublesome mage in the Tower,” explained Anders with an amused smile. “I escaped seven times. After I was caught the sixth time I was flogged then put in solitary confinement for a year. There are wards in the basement that cut you off from your magic. The wounds were tended to but had to heal without the benefit of magic and they scarred.”

“Wow,” said Tuck feeling stunned. “That’s…mean.”

“Mages aren’t people to most of them,” he said bitterly. “We’re a dangerous problem. There are a lot of horrible things done to circle mages but I don’t plan on letting you ever set foot in a circle. Keep going Tuck. You already knew that not all Templars are decent people though.”

“Yeah,” Tuck said as he started off back to camp. “Some of them gave me the same crawly feeling Ser did. We stayed away from those ones. Well, we tried anyway.”

“Did one of them take an interest in you?” Anders asked sounding cautious now.

“Not me,” Tuck said risking a glance over his shoulder. Anders was frowning and his grip was a little tighter. “Gabe. She was always sort of a pest but after his voice changed she just wouldn’t leave him alone.”

“A pest how? What do you mean by wouldn’t leave him alone?” he said.

“Ser Angelina wasn’t always at the orphanage at first, like Ser Simon,” Tuck said deliberately slowing his steps. “She usually came in with Sister Patricia, the writing teacher. She was always staring at Gabe, asking me stupid questions. Sometimes she followed us around if Sister Patricia ended up staying late. After though… she was always there, around every corner.”

“Do you know why she was so interested in your brother?” Anders asked.

“I overheard Ser Angelina talking with one of the other Templars once,” Tuck said slowly. “She said Gabe looked just like our father.”

“Do you know if anything happened between this Templar and your father?”

“I don’t know.”

“What about her and your brother?”

“Not at the orphanage,” Tuck said with certainty.

“Outside the orphanage?”

“Maybe,” said Tuck after a moment. He stopped and turned to face Anders. “You think she did something to Gabe don’t you. Is that why he got angry and mean? Because she did something?”

“I think there’s a distinct possibility that this Templar did something to your brother,” Anders said earnestly. “The only person that knows for sure is Gabe.”

“Do you think he’ll get better? Being away from…Denerim?” Tuck asked hopefully. “I didn’t mind the stealing…we’d buy lemon drops and licorice whips, share with our friends. He got mean though. I don’t want Gabe to be mean.”

“I hope so Tuck,” said Anders gently. “We’d better get back before Fenris comes looking.”

“Okay,” he said dejectedly.

Tuck turned back towards their camp, Anders’ hand settling once more on his shoulder with a brief sympathetic squeeze. He missed his brother more than ever and hoped he was safe with Anders and Fenris’ friend. Already his mind was racing though, remembering, trying to figure out what had happened when Gabe became so angry.

*

Fenris was beginning to worry when they finally reappeared. Both mages seemed to be lost in thought but unharmed. They went straight to the fire pit and Fenris lingered with the horses, watching them. Tuck arranged the wood after they had piled the larger sticks. Anders knelt nearby, head cocked to the side listening for the whoosh of flame. The fire was soon crackling merrily and both mages smiled at Tuck’s quick success.

They spoke quietly and Fenris dug through their supplies. Supper would be simple tonight. He had far too much on his mind to fix anything complicated. Having seen the items in that pack he had a general idea of what had gone on between Ser and his mage. Hearing details that were merely the beginning not only roused his anger but fueled his desire to find the person behind Ser. That meant going through more of the papers.

He planned on reading through the four pages of information on Hawke as carefully as he’d gone through the previous six about Anders. There had been very few clues as to who had hired Ser among those pages and he didn’t expect to find much in Hawke’s four pages either. He did have a few suspicions however.

There was no doubt in his mind the information had come from Sebastian. It was entirely too accurate to have been gleaned from Varric’s writings. The handwriting was also a clue, very neat and very legible, like the person who wrote the letter did little else. These two things plus the entreaty at the end led him to think it was someone who was associated with the Chantry, a Brother or Sister who hadn’t been inside when the building was destroyed.

Hawke’s dealings with Petrice lent credence to this suspicion but the sheer amount of coin that had been found did not. Most people affiliated with the Chantry didn’t have that much coin to throw around. It was possible that more than one person was involved and they had pooled resources to come up with the payment. Fenris wasn’t entirely sure which option bothered him more.

What bothered him the most though was how quickly they’d been found. Anders had stated that the man had been following them for two weeks. They had been meandering through the Bannorn for at least four weeks, a few days in Denerim before that and around two weeks on the Waking Sea getting to Ferelden. Both mages had stated that Ser had sounded like he was from Ferelden. Whoever had hired him had to have left Kirkwall shortly after they did. How had they known where to even begin their search?

Until some of these questions had answers Fenris didn’t plan on remaining in any one place for very long. He also had no plans on leaving Anders and Tuck by themselves again either. To avoid arousing suspicion in villages the manacles Tuck still wore had to be removed. He didn’t want to frighten the boy further but the only way he could think of was using his phasing ability.

He had been reluctant to before the mageling had seem him use that ability on Ser. Now he was extremely reluctant but there didn’t seem to be another way without leaving the boy crippled. Hiding the manacles was possible but there was a risk of accidental discovery. Considering how well informed their pursuer seemed it was a risk Fenris would rather not have to deal with.

Having gathered their supper, he joined them at the fire. Both were quiet, lost in their own thoughts. The dried meat and chunks of cheese were passed around and the silence continued while they ate. He didn’t wait very long after they were finished.

“Tuck,” Fenris said deliberately using the boy’s name when he generally didn’t.

His eyes widened and lost their faraway look as he said in a small voice, “Yeah?”

“I wish to attempt to remove the manacles,” said Fenris carefully keeping his voice even. Anders cocked his head a little but remained silent.

“How?” Tuck asked immediately, his hands pressed into his armpits to hide the manacles.

“I may be able to break the locking mechanism,” he said still keeping his voice even. He let his brands flare briefly and watched as the boy’s eyes grew wider.

“Umm, no thanks,” said Tuck nervously. “I’d uh…rather keep them.”

“He won’t hurt you Tuck,” Anders said gently. “He won’t even have to touch you, just the manacles.”

“You didn’t see what he did,” Tuck said in a small voice glancing at Anders.

“I can guess,” Anders said with a small smile. “We’ve known each other for years, long before I lost my sight.” He held his hand out to Fenris, palm facing Tuck. “He’s used it on me, to pluck splinters from my hands.”

Fenris lit the brands and cautiously put his hand through Anders’. They hadn’t discussed this but Anders was well aware of how important it was to not raise suspicions. He waited a moment then pulled away from the mage, letting his brands die. Anders smiled reassuringly, turning his hand this way and that and flexing his fingers so that Tuck could see there was nothing wrong with it.

Tuck looked from Anders to Fenris several times before asking, “Why now?”

“They’ll draw attention,” Anders explained patiently. “Fenris and I will draw enough attention in any village but those manacles will draw the wrong sort of attention.”

“We need news of what’s going on,” said Fenris. “I will not leave you both behind again. We can create a story to divert suspicion but the manacles will likely destroy anything we can come up with.”

“All right,” Tuck said nervously after a moment of thought. “You won’t…hurt me?”

“Stay vigilant and I will have no cause to,” Fenris said earnestly. “You are a bright boy and braver than some adults I’ve met.”

“That’s not very convincing,” Tuck said skeptically.

“Mages are dangerous Tuck,” Anders said quietly. “Not all of us have the strength of will to resist what demons offer. We’ve come across mages just as sick and twisted as Ser as well.”

“Not me,” said Tuck fiercely. “I don’t ever want to be like that jerk.”

“Then you have nothing to fear,” said Fenris.

Tuck met his gaze and nodded before slowly standing. He moved around the fire and squatted next to Fenris. His arms were shaking slightly as he held them out. Fenris turned the manacle on his left wrist until he could get to the lock. It was a simple matter to pull the pin holding them shut and the process was repeated for his right wrist.

“Thanks,” Tuck said quietly rubbing his wrists.

“You’re welcome,” Fenris said with a small smile.


	20. Chapter 20

“Have I mentioned how much I don’t like this?” Anders said as he climbed into the saddle.

“At least ten times,” Fenris said with a hint of exasperation. “I’m sure you can manage to look arrogant for a few days.”

Anders frowned as he fidgeted in the saddle, pulling his coat from underneath him. The feathered pauldrons had been left in the pack. Along with his coat he wore his black trousers, a white shirt from Hawke and a dark silk scarf that they had found among Ser’s extra clothes. His coat had been left open, his trousers tucked neatly into his boots and the shirt also tucked in neatly. The scarf had been carefully folded and tied around his eyes, his hair left loose and arranged around the blindfold.

Tuck had washed up last night along with both him and Fenris. Nothing could be done about his trousers and boots but they were at least in good condition. His shirt, which was torn and filthy, had been replaced with one of Fenris’ extra shirts. It was a little large but the elf had been satisfied with how Tuck looked with his normally wild hair combed flat.

It wasn’t the clothes that bothered him however. The premise of their cover story was simple. He was a well off man on holiday with his nephew and manservant who also doubled as bodyguard. It was the thought of actually having to treat Fenris as a servant. Having to ride a horse by himself wasn’t a very pleasant thing either he discovered as it started moving.

He gripped the saddle horn and his frown deepened. After the manacles had been removed this ruse had been concocted mostly by Fenris with a little help from Tuck. Anders understood that elves were seen as lesser by a good portion of Thedas’ population. Considering this particular elf’s history, the thought of ordering him around made Anders uncomfortable in the extreme. He knew that Fenris appearing to be a servant wouldn’t draw hardly any attention at all but it still bothered him.

The brands would draw attention, they always did. If Fenris were careful about using them, however, they might just be viewed as exotic tattoos. The blindfold tied around his eyes would likely draw a lot of attention as well. It would be much better than panicking the entire village however. The blight wasn’t so far away that people had forgotten and he had no wish to end up with a dagger stuck somewhere important.

Tuck understood that as long as other people were around there was to be no magic whatsoever. Anders could only hope that the five weeks he'd spent teaching the boy would prevent any unexpected spells. There would be no more lessons until this village was a good distance behind them.

Fenris had estimated that they’d reach the village sometime after lunch. He planned on staying one night and leaving the next day. The next few days were likely going to be very boring. If yesterday was any indication, his mind would wander to subjects he’d rather not think about. They already were in fact.

“Can’t you make these animals move faster?” Anders asked irritably. “Or maybe let me on your horse?”

“We have discussed this,” Fenris replied in an equally annoyed growl. “I will go no faster until you are accustomed to riding by yourself.”

“I’ll be fine,” Anders said through gritted teeth. “It doesn’t have to be a full gallop just faster than this Maker be damned _plodding._ ”

The only answer he received this time was a sudden increase in pace. Anders gripped the saddle horn tighter with a bitten off curse. He was thankful that he wasn’t being constantly reminded of having a plug up his arse and being unwillingly aroused by it but the jouncing gait was a little hard to get used to.

With most of his attention on focused on staying on the horse and trying not to look like a fool the morning passed rather quickly. They slowed at the outskirts and stopped not too long after. From the sounds around him Anders guessed this village to be of moderate size. He was eager to be off the animal but waited for Fenris.

“They have a room free,” the elf said from beside him after a short wait.

“Good,” Anders said tersely. He dismounted quickly and added in an annoyed mutter, “I think I hate horses.”

“I will gather our things,” Fenris said deferentially as he turned Anders slightly. “The Inn keeper waits.”

Anders nodded and pulled his staff, starting forward in the direction Fenris had pointed him. “Come along Trevor,” he said evenly without turning. Tuck, whom he was positive had been about to help Fenris with the packs, uttered a short squeak and was soon beside him. The sounds of a busy street were muffled as he stepped through the door. The place didn’t smell as bad as The Hanged Man but there was a similar buzz of hushed conversation.

“Over here Messere.”

The voice was polite, feminine and young. Anders turned to his left and smiled as he made his way over to her. “Fenric tells me you have a room available,” he said smoothly.

“We do,” she said. “All of our rooms are on the second floor though.”

“That’s quite all right,” Anders replied soothingly. “I can handle a few stairs. Do you have bathing facilities?”

“There’s a communal bath upstairs at the end of the hall. I can put you in the room next to it if you’d like.”

“That would be wonderful,” he said with a grateful smile. He heard a jingle of keys and suppressed a shudder as he held out his hand.

“Your room will be the last door on your right at the end of the hallway,” she said placing the key in his hand. “The bath is through the door at the very end.”

“Thank you,” he said warmly. “Fen will handle payment when he’s done with our things.”

“This way Uncle,” Tuck said cheerfully as he started off towards the stairs.

Anders followed him and heard the door behind him. He was fairly certain it was Fenris when soft footsteps and rustling followed him up the stairs. As the footsteps came closer he was positive the elf followed because he caught his distinctive scent. The soft hush of conversation hadn’t abated and he was hopeful that they might just get out of this village without an incident.

“I think this is it,” Tuck said quietly.

“Here’s the key,” said Anders softly holding his hand out to Tuck in front of him. The key disappeared and he shifted slightly to let Fenris enter before him. With the door safely shut behind him, he sighed and leaned back on it. “Did anyone stare too much?”

“No more than usual,” Fenris said from across the room.

“So what’s next?” Tuck said sounding excited. “Lunch I hope.”

“Lunch would be a good start,” Anders said pushing away from the door. “Maybe we can find a clothes shop. Wander around a bit, take in some sights.”

“Will all of our stuff be okay up here?” Tuck asked curiously.

“Should be as long as we lock the door,” said Anders searching through the room. He sat on one of the beds. “Dinner in the common room will be the best time to listen for rumors.”

“We have plenty of supplies,” Fenris said musingly. “Getting extra clothes for the boy is a good idea.”

“Lunch first,” said Tuck hopefully. “I’m really hungry.”

“Right,” Anders said smiling. “Lunch first. I’m sure they’ll have something in the common room.”

The rest of the afternoon and part of the evening seemed to fly by. It was hard not to be charmed by Tuck’s enthusiasm. Most of the time was spent following the eager boy around the village and listening to him describe the things he found interesting. Many questions were asked and Anders tried his best to answer them.

To a boy who’d never been away from the city a rural village was apparently very interesting. He asked about things that Anders didn’t think most children would care about. Why the Inn was the tallest building, why only some of the roofs were covered with wooden shingles and the rest thatch. It was sometimes hard to keep up with his curiosity.

Fenris was a mostly quiet presence throughout the day, close to him but not usually beside him. There had been no disasters as they wandered the village. Now back in the common room with dinner eaten conversation was all around him but none he listened in on were about the three of them. Someone was plucking a lute on the far side of the room with a few brave souls stomping around to the tune. It all seemed very normal and he was hopeful that these folks were completely unaware of who was in their midst. He was currently nursing a glass of ale thinking about how much he wanted a bath when Fenris spoke.

“If I may,” Fenris said respectfully over the noise. “I believe the young master is in need of his bed.”

“Almost asleep is he?” Anders asked with an amused smile.

“Yes Messere,” replied Fenris with a hint of amusement.

“I’ll take him upstairs,” said Anders. “I think I’ll have a bath and turn in as well. Don’t stay down here too long.”

“Yes Messere,” he repeated seriously.

“Come along Trevor,” Anders said as he stood.

“Aww,” Tuck whined tiredly from beside him. “I was listening to the music.”

His chair scrapped across the floor however and Anders followed him as he slowly made his way up the stairs. The noises of the common room were muffled as they made their way down the hall. It was a quiet background hum when they entered their room. Tuck yawned loudly as he shuffled across the room and sat heavily on one of the two beds. Anders listened to his boots hitting the floor as he knelt in front of their packs.

“Night,” Tuck said through another yawn.

“Good night,” Anders said quietly.

He listened to the rustle of blankets as he searched through the packs looking for their soap. Tuck was already asleep and breathing deeply when he finally found it. Anders left his coat on the bed and after a moments deliberation the blindfold joined it. Keeping his eyes shut he left their room quietly.

It was easy to find the bath and only a little difficult to fill one of the tubs. After listening for anyone who might be watching, Anders sunk down into the lukewarm water and heated it further. He took his time soaking and scrubbing, wishing he could wash off the feeling of hands. Since he wasn’t sure how to empty the tub he left it full hoping Fenris would help with it later. He quickly dried himself and pulled his shirt on. With the towel wrapped around his waist and his other clothes under one arm, Anders felt along the wall and went back to their room.

Tuck was still asleep but Fenris was still down in the common room. He slipped on his small clothes and crawled under the covers, settling on his side. Every second seemed like an eternity. He listened to the muted noise of the common room, the steady breathing of Tuck not far away and his mind drifted back to Kirkwall. He thought of lazy mornings spent under the blankets cuddling, evenings spent in serious discussion. He remembered the first night he’d gone to sleep without the elf wrapped around him and how Fenris had woke him the next morning. Anders finally fell asleep, thinking of how much he’d grown to like waking with the elf hard against him somewhere.

Anders didn’t remember when Fenris came to bed but he woke with a head on his shoulder and an arm draped over his chest. Their legs were tangled together and Anders couldn’t help a smile. Almost as if his thoughts had summoned it, he could feel the elf’s stiff length along his thigh. He held Fenris tight to him and waited, glad that some things hadn’t changed.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried to add Hawke's POV but it just wasn't working. I guess we'll all have to wait and see what Gabe feels about all this. =/
> 
> We're back to the angst here so be prepared.

Fenris didn’t notice the differences at first. That morning at the Inn he woke to an arm around him and fingers running through his hair. Anders didn’t seem to mind his stiff length pressed to his thigh. As closely as they slept he’d known that was inevitable. He was still very glad that the mage hadn’t reacted badly. There were several things he had just noticed in the two weeks since they’d left that village behind though.

The request that Anders had only voiced once wasn’t quite as constant. For the last week Fenris had felt his hand nudged downward before they went to sleep instead of at both dawn and dusk. During the day he still seemed fairly normal though a little quiet. His hand still drifted to his stomach. He still liked Fenris to be near but instead of the usual slightly worried looks he now realized Anders looked almost lustful.

With the village safely behind them the mage had thrown himself into teaching. Tuck didn’t seem to mind. He listened intently while they rode, Anders still clinging to Fenris on the same horse. Fenris could see improvement in the boy’s control and consistency. Because he was so intent on teaching, nothing more had been said about what Ser had done. He wasn’t sure if this was good or bad.

Twice during those two weeks Anders had tried to creep away in the morning before Fenris woke. He’d woken anyway. The mage had given the same reason both times but it had taken a little too long for him to return each time. It reminded Fenris of Kirkwall, after Anders had been blinded but before their decision to actively pursue a relationship. How the mage would disappear if he woke stiff.

Perhaps it had taken a while to notice because of what he’d learned. Kirkwall was still in leaderless chaos and the rest of the circles were nervous. No one here was exactly sure what Anders and Hawke had done. Rumors were wide and varying but those two names consistently came up. That along with their unknown but well informed enemy had kept Fenris busy trying to stay ahead of them.

This sheltered grove was the first place he’d found that he’d been willing to stop at. For the last two days Anders had spent most of his time helping Tuck with things he couldn’t teach from the back of a horse. Fenris didn’t want to spend too much more time here even though there was no civilization to speak of. All of these small oddities had been brought to his attention this morning in a rather ironic turn of events that had put everything else to the back of his mind.

Anders was curled around him, clinging tightly. It wasn’t the occasional soft moan that had woken him or the panting breaths against his ear. It was the movement against his arse and the stiff length he could feel through two sets of trousers and small clothes. If they weren’t in the middle of nowhere being chased by someone who’d hired a sadistic man to rape his mage, Fenris would have been extremely amused. As it was he wasn’t sure if it would be better to wake him or to simply let him finish.

“Anders,” Fenris said softly after a few more weak thrusts. It wouldn’t be hard for Anders to figure out what had happened and he decided that it was probably better to wake him. His only response was a soft moan. “Anders, wake up.”

There was a huff of breath on his ear followed by complete stillness behind him. “Shit,” Anders muttered.

He grabbed his arm before he could flee. “Please let me go Fenris,” Anders said softly before Fenris could say anything. “Just let me go take care of it…”

“Anders,” repeated Fenris feeling more concerned than he had been before. He let go of the mage’s arm however.

“I’m all right,” said Anders as he quickly stood. He felt for his staff and Fenris sat as well. “I just…I’m all right.”

Fenris watched him hurry off into the dense woods surrounding the clearing at the base of a cliff. After a quick glance at Tuck, who still appeared to be sleeping soundly, he hurried after the mage. He caught up quickly and found Anders leaning against a tree.

“Isn’t this awkward,” the mage said with a small amount of humor. One of his hands was clutched tightly around his staff and the other was thrust down his trousers. “I should have known you’d follow me.”

“What’s wrong?” Fenris asked in concern as he stepped closer.

“Nothing,” he answered with a shrug as he pulled his hand out of his trousers. It joined his other on the staff, all of his knuckles white, and moved it to the center of his body. He thumped his head lightly on the tree behind him and said bitterly, “Everything.”

“Have I done something?” said Fenris going through the last two weeks again in his mind.

“No,” Anders said with a small smile. “You’re trying to keep us safe from the mess I created.”

“Why did you flee from me? Surely you understand…”

“I know you aren’t going to hurt me,” Anders said looking in his direction for a brief moment. “You’ve been…patient…an anchor…like you were after I was blinded.” His gaze turned toward the sky, his odd nearly all white eyes searching for the rising sun and he continued in a very distressed tone. “You know…guessed some of it at least. I want you to rid me of everything he did. I want…so very badly…but I haven’t earned that have I.”

“You are not making much sense mage,” Fenris said stepping closer and trying to control his irritation. “Earned what?”

“I want you to fuck me,” he snapped angrily. “I want you to throw me on the ground and pound me until I howl but I don’t really deserve it. I’ve repaid your patience with more problems. It’s my fault Ser was out there looking for me in the first place! It’s my fault we’re out here in Ferelden’s wilderness worried about who might recognize the man who destroyed Kirkwall’s chantry. I still don’t regret my actions but it would have been easier for you if I’d been killed that night.”

“If I wished for an easier life I wouldn’t have pursued you in the first place,” Fenris hissed furiously. “I will never agree with what you did but I now understand why you did it. I swear I will find a solution. I have followed you willingly out here into Ferelden’s uncivilized wilds and will continue to keep us ahead of those who would harm us.”

Fenris pushed the staff aside and pulled the startled mage down slightly. He crashed their lips together, pouring weeks of frustration and longing into his kiss. Anders softened against him almost immediately, desperately clutching his shoulder, returning it with just as much fervor. Fenris parted them reluctantly and Anders sagged against the tree.

“It’s not a matter of deserving,” Fenris said softly running a finger down his jaw. “Or of having earned. You need only ask. I have been unsure of consent and will make no true advances until I am. Especially after him.” Anders nodded silently and straightened. “Come, we should not leave the boy alone.”

Anders nodded once more and allowed himself to be led. Tuck was sitting next to a fire he must have started when they broke through into the clearing. The boy looked up at them and silently watched Anders sink down next to the fire, his gaze in his lap. Fenris ignored the brief look he received and set about to making breakfast.

He spent most of that day sitting against a tree with his sword across his lap watching Anders and Tuck. His mage seemed almost normal but he pushed both himself and the mageling very hard. Tuck didn’t complain even though he was visibly exhausted by the time Anders finally let the marathon end. Fenris was glad the boy seemed to want to learn as much as he could. He didn’t miss the curious looks Tuck gave both of them however.

Fenris was alarmed at how much guilt and blame Anders seemed to be struggling with. He’d had many opportunities, in Kirkwall and here in Ferelden, to simply walk away from the whole mess. It had been his choice to keep traveling with Anders. Even when he’d insisted on rescuing this child he had willingly assisted. He stayed with this stubborn and foolish man because he wanted to, he didn’t want to let go of what they had found with each other.

Part of the blame he placed on himself was needless. Fenris had known they would be hunted for Anders’ actions in Kirkwall. Neither of them had anticipated a knowledgeable, connected foe however. He didn’t really understand how Anders could take the blame for that either. What bothered Fenris most however was that he didn’t feel he deserved Fenris’ attention or affection.

He had thought that it was clear they both wanted to fix the rift the Chantry’s destruction had caused. Fenris didn’t much care whether Anders deserved it or not, the mage had his heart wrapped firmly in his hands. The problem now seemed to be how to get the stubborn mage to realize that. Fenris sighed as he moved to sit next to him, scooting closer until their knees touched. Anders’ small smile and the hand he placed on Fenris’ leg was only a little reassuring.

Their camp was mostly silent through supper and afterwards. Tuck went to sleep early and the silence persisted. When they crawled under their blankets Anders snuggled close and clung to him but he didn’t ask for anything this night. Fenris suddenly wished he could speak with Hawke or Varric. Surely one of them would know how to help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I get a bunch of hateful comments, no Anders doesn't believe that actually being raped is his fault. He thinks he knows that whoever hired Ser did so because of the chantry boom. No chantry boom means whoever wouldn't have had a reason to hire the twisted fuck in the first place therefore it is his fault that Ser was hired. Whether he's right or not...well we'll just have to see.


	22. Chapter 22

Tuck thought they were both acting a little weird. He suspected they had argued about something the morning they had both hurried off. That day and the day after Anders had been the one with all the wistful looks and Fenris didn’t bother to hide his worried ones. The elf seemed edgy most days but it had gotten considerably worse. Tuck was careful to stay out of his way.

He hadn’t minded the way Anders had pushed him for the last couple of days. He had two more months at least to learn what he could. Highever, Gabe and what would happen after were still quite a ways off. Tuck was much more interested in his decidedly odd saviors at the moment. With Anders intent on teaching he hadn’t had much of a chance to ask any questions that might help him figure out what Ser Angelina might have done to his brother. He hadn’t had much chance to even think about it.

Since questions seemed out for a bit he’d watched and listened trying to glean any information he could. Listening had proved rather useless as both Anders and Fenris had grown extremely quiet with each other since their possible argument. There was still plenty of touching though it seemed a little cautious, like before Serge had happened. That hadn’t stopped Anders from clinging when they got on the horses this morning though.

In the past couple of weeks Anders had spent the time on the trail with verbal lessons. He spoke at length about the different schools of magic and how combining two different spells could produce a different effect. Tuck thought there was much more Anders could tell him about but had remained silent as they rode today. He didn’t find this too surprising considering the odd way both of them had been acting. It was a little boring however.

Like he had in the past he spent this time creating the different elements in his hand. The only one he could manipulate well was fire but he could now consistently bring forth the others. The one he seemed to be having the most trouble with was still ice. Anders didn’t seem worried even though Tuck was often frustrated.

As he toyed with the small chunk of ice he’d conjured, he watched Anders in front of him. His thoughts drifted once again to how strange the last few days had been and suddenly hoped they would get over whatever it was they had argued about. Anders had been patient and kind before Serge and even after though he seemed to be having problems that Tuck wasn’t privy to. He was pretty sure it had to do with whatever the sick bastard had done when he’d dragged the blind mage into the woods every morning and night.

Tuck wondered if that wasn’t somehow causing Fenris’ extra helping of nervous energy. He still wasn’t too sure about the elf but he liked Anders a lot. As he watched the mage shift on the horse in front of him Tuck wondered if he could talk Gabe into staying with this strange but kind pair. He sighed and looked down at the ice as he vaporized it with a burst of intense heat. Would they even want a couple of kids tagging along?

He didn’t know everything but he knew they had been fleeing Kirkwall when they had been in Denerim. He also knew what Anders and his friend Hawke had done there. Neither Anders nor Fenris spoke much about it around him. Tuck may have been a diversion but he was extremely grateful none the less. If he could prove himself useful maybe they wouldn’t mind letting him and Gabe go with them. They had nowhere else to go and Tuck needed a mentor. Tuck sighed again, now wondering what would happen in two more months when he was reunited with his brother.

*

Fenris felt the mage shift behind him, felt more than heard his sigh and suppressed one of his own. Anders’ silence was extremely disturbing. He’d been quieter than normal since his capture but the last two days had been almost intolerable. Trying to start a conversation had proved to be just as awkward as those days aboard Isabela’s ship. He wasn’t about to wait on another accident to bridge this silence however.

He’d been thinking of their years in Kirkwall, focusing on conversations he’d had with both Hawke and Varric. Both rogues had an uncanny ability to get people to talk. Fenris wasn’t as subtle as Varric and he didn’t have Hawke’s charisma but this was Anders. They had spent many nights in that dilapidated mansion talking until the sun was nearly up. Starting a conversation really shouldn’t be so difficult.

Small talk had been unsuccessful. Telling the mage his plans had produced only a mumbled whatever you think is best. He had avoided speaking about certain things but now steeled himself for information he didn’t precisely want. If Anders wasn’t going to bring it up, he would. From his own experiences with Hawke, Fenris suspected the information was eating away at him.

“What happened after he forced himself on you?” Fenris asked quietly.

“He dumped me back at camp and went to sleep,” Anders said after a moment.

“Anders please,” said Fenris when the mage fell silent again.

“Haven’t I burdened you enough?” he asked shifting again. “It’s bad enough that I keep thinking about it.”

Fenris sighed in irritation and strove to keep his voice down. “I am here because I want to be. If you are a burden then I have put it upon myself.”

“You already know what happened,” Anders said sullenly. “I…don’t really want to talk about it.”

“I _know_ only what you’ve told me,” Fenris said. “I have guessed the rest. I will not force you to speak about it if you truly do not wish it.”

Silence descended yet again and Fenris was more frustrated than ever. He didn’t know what he could do or say to help. Even his attempts at distraction had fallen flat. Trees drifted by, Tuck was also quiet behind them and he heaved another sigh. Anders arms tightened around him for a moment and the sigh was echoed.

“Do you miss Hawke?” Anders asked softly.

“I miss all of them,” said Fenris evenly. “Even the witch and her inane prattle.”

Anders snorted and rested his head on Fenris’ shoulder. “Maybe you’re right,” he said after a moment. “But I don’t want to put more on your shoulders.”

“Even when I have asked for it?” Fenris said earnestly. “I knew the dangers when I agreed to accompany you.” He couldn’t stop the bitterness that laced his next words as he continued. “If I had heeded my instincts you wouldn’t have been caught and raped in the first place.”

“Fenris?” said Anders questioningly.

“I did not want to leave you and the boy alone,” he said. “I couldn’t find a valid reason. It should have been safe.”

“He would have waited for another opportunity…or slit your throat while we slept. Seventy sovereigns…don’t blame yourself. You came after us…that’s what matters.”

“Don’t shoulder needless guilt,” Fenris replied immediately. “I knew we would be hunted. I will rip anyone to shreds who tries to take you from me. _It will not happen again._ ”

“It would have been worse if Tuck hadn’t stayed,” Anders said softly after another pause. “He never did anything where Tuck could see…told me he’d given him plenty of opportunities to run. The morning after…after he’d put his hands all over me…he laid me down. Shoved a plug up my arse, tied up my nuts and announced that he was going to fuck me that night.”

“He did what?” Fenris said in horror and confusion.

“Give me a bit of string or a ribbon and I could probably show you,” he replied flatly. “I felt him do it often enough.”

“That will not be necessary,” said Fenris quickly. “I have seen many things but…what purpose did that serve? Simply to torture?”

“Only partially,” Anders said sitting up a little straighter. “I think I would have preferred the squeezing. With that damn ribbon wrapped around the base of my cock and each ball trapped by itself…every touch, rub, tap and squeeze…” His voice trailed off and he shuddered.

Fenris patted his arm and waited to see if he would say anything more.

“That’s when he put the skirt on me,” said Anders after a short pause in a steadier voice. “I spent all day in front of him on the horse…never faster than a walk…that plug driving me crazy with every step the beast took. His hands were constantly under the skirt or under my shirt…touching, pinching, squeezing, hurting…making me hard. All damn day…until he finally brought me over right before we stopped. It would have been so much worse though…if not for Tuck. He told me that morning…he would have striped me, draped me over the horse…and fucked my pretty cunt with his fist all day long.”

“Venhedis,” Fenris swore softly. His hand clenched around the reins even as Anders’ arms tightened around him.

“Let me finish before you ask any more questions,” said Anders resting his head once more on Fenris’ shoulder. “I might lose my nerve…”

He nodded wordlessly, patting Anders’ arm and kicking the horse to a slightly faster gait. A minute or two passed before the mage finally continued.

“I struggled that night before he untied my arms. Thank the Maker he’d untied my balls before we stopped…all day he undid the ribbon and retied it after a while. All struggling earned me was a knee in the crotch and being thrown to the ground while I was still gasping for breath and fighting not to vomit from the damn magebane. He sat on my arse, moving the plug every chance he got, while my arms were untied and worked. That’s when he cut my shirt off and replaced it. My arms were retied and I got a brief respite.

“He gagged me and forced me to my knees that night after I’d pissed for him. He pushed me forward, took the plug out and replaced it with his dick. Over and over…slamming into me…silent except for that stupid bell…it hurt despite the plug keeping me loose all day. It took forever for him to finish…but my torment wasn’t over. He leaned over me, still buried balls deep, and…played with me…until I’d come too.”

His voice was little more than a whisper and he paused, took a deep breath and continued in the soft tone he’d begun with.

“Ser didn’t bother with a gag the next morning. Just shoved my upper body down and flipped up the skirt. His hands pulling my hips back was the only thing that kept me upright. I still hurt from the night before…pounding me so hard…at least he didn’t make me orgasm, just stuffed the plug back inside me and fondled until I could urinate.

“That day started out like the previous one. The constant touching, the horse jostling the plug, the ribbon…he got greedy though. Said I was the sweetest piece of ass he’d ever had and just couldn’t wait to fuck me again. I jumped off the horse when he went to tie Tuck to his horse…not sure what happened exactly but Tuck told me to run and I did. He still caught me…and the rest you know.”

“Yes,” Fenris said in a hoarse whisper. He would never forget the sight of that man daring to lay hands on his mage. “I will help however I can.”

“I don’t know that I have any right to ask anything of you,” Anders said sounding a little desperate. “I don’t feel his hands quite so often though…I keep thinking maybe…and…I want…I really do want you to but…”

“What must I do to convince you?” said Fenris in a frustrated growl. “Do you wish me to take you into the woods right now? Switch places with me so that I may drive you wild? You are…I…”

He trailed off in frustrated silence, unable to find the words he wanted. Anders hugged him fiercely for a moment and placed a cautious kiss on the tip of his ear. “You came for me,” he whispered calmly. Silence once more fell over them.


	23. Chapter 23

A few days later found them on the outskirts of Redcliffe. Anders wasn’t sure how they had gotten so far south but he trusted that Fenris would get them to Highever on time. The ruse they had concocted for the previous village had worked so well they were using it again. Fenris wanted to top off their supplies and once again listen for rumors.

Anders wasn’t focused on the horse beneath him or the turmoil he’d been in since he’d first felt a desire to be pinned under the strong elf. Even his recounting of being raped had been pushed to the back of his mind. He hadn’t felt the presence of Darkspawn since Nathaniel Howe and the Deep roads. The closer they’d gotten to the city the stronger it had become.

“Fenric, a word please,” he said calmly.

“Yes Messere?” Fenris said politely as the horse underneath him stopped moving.

Anders found his arm and pulled the elf a little closer. “There’s a warden here,” he whispered urgently. “If I can feel them they can feel me. We need to keep this quick.”

“Yes Messere,” replied Fenris calmly, just as polite as he’d been before.

He didn’t sound exceptionally worried even to Anders but the horse was going a bit faster when they started moving again. Anders sat straight, gripping the saddle horn, acting like he had every right to be there while trying to pinpoint the presence he could feel. The buzz of conversation, hawkers shouting their wares, the clop of their horses and even the warm sun making sweat bead on his brow, Anders ignored them all. He didn’t want a confrontation in the middle of the city.

“Oh Maker it’s him! Mage! Mage! Fetch the Templars he’s a mage!”

The voice was high pitched, very frightened and not that far away. Tuck groaned softly beside him, Fenris growled softly ahead of him but Anders didn’t even turn his head. The cries continued and the hum of conversation grew a bit softer. He could feel space opening up around him and felt like groaning when he heard the rattle of armor before the horse stopped moving once more.

“Why have we stopped Fenric?” he demanded haughtily.

“This…man…has mistaken you for someone else, Messere,” Fenris replied condescendingly.

“Nooo! There’s no mistake!” the high pitched voice wailed from somewhere off to his left. “He has a staff! See! See! He’s a mage!”

The rattling armor drew closer and Tuck whined softly beside him. Anders reached out and patted his arm reassuringly. There were gasps and murmurs all around him, and he was positive the warden he could feel was getting closer but it was Fenris he concentrated on. After a brief pause he knew the elf was on the ground beside him.

“Remove yourself,” Fenris said in a dangerous snarl.

“Out of the way elf,” said a woman who wasn’t very far away. “We must investigate this man’s claim.”

“Just because I carry a staff doesn’t make me a mage,” Anders said letting his annoyance through. “Honestly, you people are so paranoid. Who’s your superior so that I may report you for harassment.”

“This matter must be investigated. You can see no one else in the square has a staff,” the woman he assumed was a Templar said.

“No my dear,” Anders said scathingly. “I cannot actually see anyone. I’m blind you bloody ignorant fool. Did you miss this strip of cloth covering my eyes?”

Before the Templar could reply there was a brief scuffle ahead and a new voice, a very familiar voice, huffed indignantly, “What’s the meaning of this? Why are you harassing this man?”

“I beg your pardon Warden Surana,” the Templar said not sounding at all sorry. “Do you know this man?”

“I invited him here,” Neria Surana said sounding closer. “He may be able to help me with Arl Teagan’s son.”

“A blind healer?” said the Templar said scornfully.

“Would you like a demonstration?” Anders said trying to sound bored. “Fenric.”

The space around them was filled with ringing steel before Surana’s voice cut through everything. “Stop this!” she yelled loudly. The command was very clear. Even the hushed conversation of the gathered crowd fell silent. “These people are my guests and they will not be questioned or followed or harassed further in any fashion. Do I make myself clear?”

“Yes Warden Surana,” the Templar said semi-respectfully.

Anders heard armor rattling as they moved away and conversation started up again. Tuck exhaled noisily beside him and he waited to see what would happen next. Surana had probably saved his hide again but he couldn’t help but wonder what she’d want this time.

“You behave yourself,” Surana said sounding closer still. Knowing that she was addressing him, Anders gave her a smirk and inclined his head a tiny bit. “Get me up there and take us to the keep.”

“Messere?” said Fenris cautiously. Anders nodded wordlessly. “Would you care to scoot back or shall I help Miss Surana up behind you?”

“Behind is fine,” Anders said hoping it would be.

Moments later he felt her arms around his middle. He was a little surprised to find that she didn’t seem to be wearing armor of any sort or a skirt when he could feel her breasts against his back. The horse began moving shortly afterwards and Anders turned his head to whisper over his shoulder.

“You need to behave as well. He’s a bit possessive.”

“You have a lot of explaining to do,” she said softly. “It’s good to see you again though.”

Anders thought she might be smiling and was very glad that she didn’t seem angry. Whether or not she remained that way was another thing entirely.

*

Fenris dropped their packs on the floor and turned to the petite elf, who was entirely too close and being much too familiar with Anders. He dropped all pretense of civility and snarled wordlessly at her.

Her slightly almond shaped eyes widened in amusement and merriment could be seen in their violet depths. “You weren’t joking,” she said lightly as she pulled away from Anders.

“We’re not in the Tower Neria,” Anders said tiredly. He found a chair and sank slowly into it. “Everything is a lot different.”

“When did you turn into such a prude?” Surana asked with a mock pout.

Anders snorted and folded his arms over his chest. “Long story,” he said seriously. “May I remind you of the boy standing over there somewhere?”

Fenris moved to stand next to the chair Anders was seated in as he gestured at Tuck. The boy squeaked and looked a bit like he would have preferred to hide somewhere but met her suddenly intense gaze. Surana tucked a stray lock of her dark brown hair back up into the elaborate bun at the back of her head and strolled casually towards the door. She turned to face them and folded her arms under modest bosom.

“Some bits will have to wait then,” she said with an easy smile.

“I thank you for your intervention,” Fenris said with strained politeness. “But how long do you intend to keep us here?”

“I’m not going to keep you here,” Surana said seriously. “It’s in your best interests to remain for a few days at least. That Templar is one of the devout lot. My being here sticks in her craw enough but if she suspects that Anders really is a mage she’ll have no qualms with sending the whole bloody garrison up here.”

“Andraste’s knickers,” Anders muttered sullenly. “Did you get a look that person Fenris?”

“A vagrant,” Fenris said. “Rags for clothing. He seemed afraid of his own shadow.”

“Did you recognize him?” Anders asked. “He certainly recognized me.”

Fenris thought back to the pitiful creature that had begun this mess. Sallow skin, very thin, lanky limbs and matted hair that was so filthy determining a color was impossible. His features were unremarkable.

“No,” said Fenris. “I didn’t.”

“I guess we’ll be staying for a bit,” Anders said sourly. “Do you really need help with this Arl’s son?”

“I wouldn’t turn it away but I don’t think there’s anything to be done,” Surana said sadly. “Anders…what happened to your eyes?”

“There’s nothing you can do Neria,” said Anders said with a small smile. “Spider venom landed in my eyes…ate away something important.”

“Shame,” she said returning his small smile. “They were always your best feature. You’d better give me your names so I can clear this with Arl Teagan. I’ll be back later and I want to hear everything.”

“Anson, Fenric and Trevor,” Anders said gesturing. “You’re not going to be in trouble are you?”

“Of course not,” she said dismissively. “Might want to clean up a bit though. He’s going to want to meet you. Probably over dinner. I’ll be back.”

Surana flounced out of the room, despite the lack of a skirt, and shut the door behind her. Fenris turned to Anders and frowned. “Who is she?” he asked as calmly as he could. From the wince he received Fenris knew he wasn’t that successful.

“Gentlemen,” said Anders gesturing at the door. “You’ve just met the Hero of Ferelden.”

“Andraste’s tits,” Tuck whispered in awe. “You know some important people.”

Fenris turned towards the door. No wonder she’d been so ready to step in. Anders had spoken of this woman at length always with a good deal of respect and quite a bit of fondness. With extremely mixed feelings he turned back to Anders and asked, “What’s she doing here?”

“I don’t know,” Anders shook his head wearily. “Was she wearing warden armor?”

“No,” said Fenris sinking into the chair across from him. “Tight leggings and a men’s styled shirt cinched around her waist.”

“I doubt she’s here in an official capacity then,” said Anders rousing himself slightly. “There’s that at least. Let’s get cleaned up.”


	24. Chapter 24

Tuck sat up slowly, looking over at the bed across the room. They hadn’t moved for some time and he hoped he could sneak out without waking them. It was still pretty early and he thought both of them should still be asleep. They hadn’t been whispering to each other like they often did when they thought he was still sleeping.

He dressed quickly and quietly, sitting on the floor to put his boots on. Dinner with an Arl had been interesting and Tuck had scoured his brain for lessons on politeness and dining etiquette that Sister Julia had insisted on boring him with. It was after the brief tour of the keep that things got really interesting.

They had gone back to the room Surana had taken them to and Anders and Fenris had talked and talked and talked. Some of it he’d already known but now he knew everything. He understood the elf a little better. He also found it hard to believe that Fenris had ever hated Anders but all the glares he’d received made a lot more sense. Hearing Anders reasons for destroying the Kirkwall chantry, and his reasons for saving a boy who’d ridiculed him the day before, only made him want to stay with him more.

Throughout everything that had been said last night Tuck noticed a glaring omission by both of them. Neither Anders nor Fenris had mentioned Serge. Given their odd behavior over the last weeks he thought this just might be important. Sleep had proven elusive as he went through everything over and over wondering why both of them had left out any mention of their capture.

Tuck didn’t know if this was the right thing to do but he planned on visiting Surana and telling her what they hadn’t. Anders seemed to like her a lot and even Fenris had warmed up to her slightly. She was also the Hero of Ferelden. Surely she could help Anders with whatever problems Serge had left him with. With another glance over at their bed he tiptoed quietly towards the door.

“Don’t leave the keep,” Anders said from the cocoon of blankets he was wrapped in. He sounded disturbingly awake.

“I won’t,” Tuck said softly looking over at them again.

“Stay out of trouble too,” said Anders as he rolled over. “See you at breakfast.”

“Okay,” said Tuck resuming his trek to the door.

He eased it open stepped through and eased it shut. Tuck turned and hurried down the hallway, still trying to stay quiet, hoping that Surana was awake. He rounded the corner and stopped in front of what he was pretty sure was the door she’d pointed out yesterday. Taking a deep breath, he checked down the hallway in both directions and knocked softly.

“Come in,” he heard immediately.

Tuck hesitated a moment and slipped inside with a last peek down the hallway, shutting it behind him. At first glance her room looked a lot like the one they’d slept in but his attention was quickly riveted on the completely naked elf standing in the middle of the room. They stood there and stared at one another for a few seconds before she cursed and darted for the bed. Tuck whipped around and faced the door, squeezing his eyes shut for good measure.

“Uhh…I’m…um…s-s-sorry to bother you…um…Miss,” he stuttered in an embarrassing high pitched squeak. “I’ll…uhh…come back later.”

“No, No,” she said quickly. “Just stay like that for a few minutes. Maker’s Breath I’m sorry Tuck. I was expecting someone else.”

He swallowed past the lump in his throat wondering just who she’d been expecting. “I can…come back. I just…wanted to talk about something.”

Surana giggled and Tuck shifted his weight nervously. “You’ve got something to brag about now at least,” she said cheerfully. “What did you want to talk about?”

“Um…are you sure it’s all right?” he asked apprehensively. “If you’re expecting…someone else…I can talk later.”

“It’s all right Tuck,” Surana said reassuringly from directly behind him. He jumped when she squeezed his shoulder. “He doesn’t always visit in the morning but he’s normally the only one who knocks this early. What’s on your mind?”

Tuck risked a quick glance over his shoulder and couldn’t help his sigh of relief at finding her fully clothed. Her hair was loose and fell past her shoulders and her face was clean of the make-up she’d had yesterday. An image of what he’d seen flashed through his head and he blurted out, “You’re a lot prettier than Jenny.”

Her smile turned to an amused smirk and he smiled back, now feeling extremely embarrassed.

“Thank you,” Surana said calmly. “You should probably not mention this where Anders can hear though. At this point I think he’d give me a lecture to rival Senior Enchanter Wynne.”

“If that person is anything like Sister Julia then I’d get a lecture too and sent to bed with no dessert besides,” Tuck said starting to feel a little more relaxed.

Surana grinned and held up her hand, her pinky finger extended beyond the others. “Our little secret then?”

“Deal,” Tuck said now grinning as well. He hooked his little finger around hers and gave her a satisfied nod. Anders or Fenris finding out he’d been in her room at all was the absolute last thing he wanted.

She nodded as well and gestured at the table. “What did you want to talk about?”

“You’re his friend right?” Tuck said after he’d sat. “Anders I mean.”

“I like to think so,” she said with a friendly smile and a shrug. Surana sat in the chair opposite him and began working on her hair. “We’ve known each other for…Maker…since he came to the Tower.”

“Well…they left out a bit,” said Tuck wringing his hands on the table. “About a month ago Fenris went into a village…left me and Anders on an abandoned farm. We were captured.”

“Templars?” Surana asked frowning.

“No, just a guy. We found out later that he was hired by someone to catch Anders and take him to the Circle though.” Tuck paused and looked at his hands a moment. “Look, I’ll tell you everything I saw but you can’t tell them it was me that told you. That bastard did something…and I just…want to help. They’ve been so nice…”

“I promise you Tuck,” Surana said solemnly. “I won’t repeat anything you say here and if it’s in my power to I’ll do my best to help.”

Tuck smiled and she returned it. He recounted everything he could remember about Serge and Anders. Her expression had darkened considerably by the time he finished. She thanked him, promising once more to do what she could. He left hoping that somehow she could help, and hoping they wouldn’t find out about anything that had happened so far this morning.

*

“I think you’re right Neria,” Anders said when the bedroom door of Arl Teagan’s son Cassius had closed behind them. “There’s something odd about his lungs but I don’t see any way to fix it.”

“I’ve seen the same thing,” Surana said slipping her arm through his and leading him down the hallway.

Anders heard Fenris’ annoyed huff behind them but the elf remained silent and kept pace with them a few steps behind. “He should be all right as long as he doesn’t plan on doing anything very strenuous. A scholar’s life.”

“Luckily Cassius is second born and there’s a good chance of that,” she replied seriously.

Silence fell for a few steps before Anders asked, “So are you here as a warden or are you just doing a favor for a friend?”

“I was wondering when you’d ask that,” Surana said sounding amused. “I’ve been here for a few years. I couldn’t stay in Amaranthine. Without you and Justice…Sigrun and Velanna…not to mention all the backbiting nobles, it was just too much. I came here to disappear. Teagan hides me from the Wardens. I think because he doesn’t want to lose his perfect mistress but I get a roof and I get fed. The people of the village are kind and I help them how I can.”

“Mistress?” said Anders with a small smirk.

“You know how much I like humans,” she said cheerfully.

“No wonder the Lady of the house glared at you all night,” Fenris said quietly.

“She doesn’t like me much but she tolerates me,” Surana said wryly. “As long as I keep him happy when she doesn’t want to he won’t turn to the servants and produce a brood of bastards. I think it’s the ears she resents. You got a few glares too.”

“I have received worse,” Fenris said softly but conversationally.

“I’m sure you have,” said Surana lightly. “I killed a few magisters in Denerim you know. Before the landsmeet and the archdemon. Loghain let them take the elves of the alienage to fund his stupid civil war.”

“You have my thanks,” said Fenris evenly.

“Ah, here we are,” she said suddenly. Her arm disappeared and she sounded further away from him when she continued. “After you Fenric.”

“Where is here?” Anders asked realizing that he hadn’t been paying attention.

“My room,” Surana said sounding a little smug. “No one will bother you in here and you can do whatever you want.”

“Neria…” started Anders as Fenris made an annoyed sound.

“Oh stop it both of you,” she interrupted sternly. “You’ve been on the trail for a long time with no privacy what so ever. I’ll keep your nephew out of trouble. Take a few hours, reconnect…have fun.”

The door shut and Anders stood still for a moment before turning to Fenris. “She’s a bit like Isabela isn’t she.”

“Isabela would be listening at the door,” Fenris said still sounding annoyed. “Where is the boy?”

“Sleeping,” Anders replied. “He woke pretty early.” He pulled his staff and searched for a few minutes then sat on the bed and sighed listening to Fenris pace. “We don’t have to stay here you know.”

“I know,” the elf said sounding uncertain. “Perhaps we should take advantage of the opportunity she has given us.” The bed dipped beside him and Fenris took his hand tentatively. “If you wish…”

Anders gripped his hand tightly, pushing away all of his doubts and fears. “All right,” he said quietly. He leaned over slightly and felt a tentative kiss pressed to his lips. Anders threaded his fingers into soft hair and released every bit of desire he’d been trying to ignore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hurt me. I know it's a terrible place to stop. More soon. Promise. =)


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here you are! Have some fluffy smut. =)

Fenris was a little surprised by the intensity of the kiss. It began hard and demanding, his tongue pushing through slightly parted lips. The hands in his hair tightened when he straddled Anders. A soft desperate noise escaped the mage when he took over, letting him control like he had from the very first time. Fenris hummed appreciatively as he plundered Anders mouth, his own hands gently tugging the blindfold off.

It was tossed behind him and Fenris pulled at the laces on Anders’ shirt with one hand while his other settled at the back of his neck. Without giving much warning Fenris pulled him away with a hand fisted in his hair and switched his attention to Anders’ neck. He sucked hard where it met his shoulder, listening to Anders soft moan while he panted.

Hands scrabbled at the clothing he wore and Fenris soon felt his hands underneath his shirt, tracing the brands and he hummed his approval. Long ago he had learned the mage liked to be able to hear him even though Anders usually remained fairly quiet. Fenris understood that while he could see facial expressions and body language, Anders had to rely mostly on the noise he made. It was habit by now to hum and even growl occasionally to let him know he liked what was happening but Fenris knew this time noise would be very important.

He pulled away from Anders’ neck with a smacking sound and released his grip on his hair. Anders turned his head, placing sloppy desperate kisses on Fenris’ jaw, working up to the tip of a sensitive ear as his hands pushed impatiently at clothing. A moan was drawn out of the elf and he began tugging at clothing as well. They separated briefly as shirts were pulled off and flung away but their lips met again immediately.

Fenris pushed him gently down to the bed and trailed soft kisses down his neck. He let his teeth graze his skin lightly listening to soft moans as he trailed over a collarbone and down to his nipple. Anders moaned again and arched into the kisses. Fenris’ hum turned to a moan when Anders found his ears. The mage gasped when he bit down lightly on his nipple, sucking the hard flesh then licking as he pulled away.

“More,” Anders whined breathily.

He switched sides and lavished attention there, moaning as his ears were rubbed. Anders whined wordlessly when Fenris pulled away again but it turned eager when he was palmed. The mage was incredibly hard and Fenris rubbed him as he moved off of the bed. He pulled laces and Anders lifted his hips allowing Fenris to push his trousers down. They stopped at his boots and he knelt between the mages legs, spreading his knees a little.

Anders groaned when Fenris licked up the length of his shaft, pausing a moment to suck the pre-cum of the head before kissing his balls and sucking one into his mouth. Anders’ hands were back in his hair and the mage shivered but he wasn’t pulled away. He was careful to stay gentle as he licked and sucked the mage’s sack while he worked the catches on Anders’ boots.

Pulling away he tugged the boots and trousers off completely. Anders was panting slightly as he scooted further onto the bed. Fenris took a moment to push his pants off, sighing in relief when his own stiff member was freed.

“Fenris,” Anders said softly as he sat up suddenly.

The mage scooted forward once more, hands at Fenris’ hips, one sliding across the bone to find his cock. Fenris groaned when Anders took half of his length at once. His tongue slid along the underside as he pulled away, poked into his slit briefly and along the shaft again when he sunk back down. With his head thrown back and his hands now threading through Anders’ hair, Fenris moaned in pleasure as the mage feverishly worked his cock.

It took all of his willpower not to thrust into the inviting wet heat of Anders’ mouth. Anders had his hips in a strong grip, sinking down a little further with every stroke. Fenris looked down, watching his cock disappear until the mage’s nose was pressed into the dark hair at the base. Anders’ eyes were squeezed shut and he remained there. Fenris groaned as the mage swallowed around his cock. He pulled back, took a few deep breaths and sunk back down.

This pattern was repeated several times and Fenris was quickly reaching the point of no return. He tugged gently on Anders’ hair and said in a strained whisper, “Anders…I’m too close.”

“Let me use magic,” Anders said in a desperate hoarse whisper after he’d pulled away. “I want you to come down my throat.”

“Very well,” Fenris said after a moment. This was something he’d strictly forbidden. Magic had its uses, both inside the bedroom and out of it. It could also be used as a form of torture. At this point he was willing to do just about anything if it would help however.

Anders sunk back down on his cock immediately. Fenris gasped and fought to keep his hips still. It didn’t take long for the mage to put him back on the edge and pull him over it. He groaned, fighting to keep still as Anders swallowed around his pulsing cock. The mage was trembling and panting heavily when he finally pulled back. He rested his head against Fenris’ stomach and wrapped his arms around him. Fenris stood quietly, threading his fingers through coarse blonde hair and waited.

“Do you still wish me to take you?” Fenris asked softly when his breathing had evened out.

“Yes,” said Anders. He smiled as he pulled away, running his hand over Fenris’ flaccid member. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he said affectionately feeling the effects of the spell almost immediately. “Is there a certain position you would prefer?”

He kissed Fenris’ stomach before crawling across the bed, settling on his hands and knees with one hand slowly stroking his own stiff member. Fenris crawled up behind him, caressing his arse cheeks and rubbing a thumb around Anders’ entrance.

“I don’t suppose you have a potion or salve hidden somewhere?” Fenris asked frowning a little.

“In my coat but that’s in our room,” said Anders after a brief chuckle. “Look around. I’m sure Neria has some slick somewhere. Taking a thick human prick up her arse is one of her favorite things.”

“Speaking from experience?” Fenris asked as he moved off the bed to look through her side tables.

“She’s like a vice,” Anders said sounding amused.

Fenris took his place behind the mage and uncorked the bottle of oil he’d found. He wrinkled his nose at the cloying smell of flowers as he coated his fingers and poured a generous amount down the cleft of Anders’ arse.

“Ugh,” Anders grunted after a brief moment. “Smells like flowers.”

“There is a wash basin,” said Fenris smiling as he rubbed his fingers around the tight pucker of the mage’s entrance. “Are you ready?”

“Maker yes,” he answered somewhat impatiently.

Fenris took his time, pushing one finger inside. He whispered soothing words, pausing when he could feel a tremble and thrusting gently until Anders was eagerly pushing back. He added a second finger, thrusting and scissoring, listening to his gasps and moans while he ran his other hand along arse and thighs. Three fingers now and Anders was pushing back, a soft whine stuck in his throat. He pulled his fingers out and poured more of the oil onto his hand. He stroked himself, spreading it over his cock, and lined the head up with Anders’ entrance.

Slowly he pushed in, gripping the mage’s hips and paused when they were flush. Anders was shaking again and he whispered more soothing things, stroking his thighs and across the small of his back. The trembling hadn’t subsided completely when Anders pushed back against him. Fenris began thrusting, staying slow and gentle.

“Harder,” Anders demanded between panting breaths.

Fenris sped his strokes, keeping hold of Anders’ hips, humming and moaning softly in turns.

“Harder,” whined Anders after only a few more strokes. “Make me feel it tomorrow!”

With grunts of effort Fenris slammed their hips together over and over again. The room was filled with his groans, Anders’ moans and the sound of flesh slapping together. Anders began a litany of ‘yes’ and ‘Fenris’, his upper half sinking to the bed. Fenris leaned over him, driving hard until his hips were flush with the bed, gripping a fistful of pillow in each hand as he paused very briefly to straddle the mage.

His wrists were gripped tightly and the mage writhed under him. Fenris pounded into him as hard as he could with grunts of effort, as Anders had wanted. Tension was coiling once more and Anders suddenly let out a loud keening moan, his grip tightening painfully for a moment on Fenris’ wrists as his pleasure peaked. Fenris spent a few minutes chasing his own, his rhythm finally stuttering to a stop. He pulled out immediately and collapsed beside Anders, both of them breathing heavily.

“Thank you,” Anders muttered after a moment as he rolled up onto his side.

Fenris gathered the mage to him softly kissing the back of his head.

“Mmm…sleepy…” he whispered tiredly.

“Rest, we are safe,” Fenris said softly. “I will be here when you wake.”

“Fen…” he breathed quietly.

Fenris nuzzled into his hair and said, “Shh, sleep. There will be time later.”

“M’kay,” Anders slurred softly. “Love you…”

“And I love you,” Fenris whispered even though he suspected the mage was already asleep. “Stubborn mage,” he added affectionately with another light kiss.


	26. Chapter 26

Anders woke slowly, warm and comfortable with Fenris wrapped tightly around him. The room smelled of sex and the flowery scent of the slick, though not quite as pungent as before. It wasn’t unpleasant but he definitely wanted a wash before they went anywhere. He shifted slightly, feeling sore, but smiling at the ache he felt.

It was different than the last time he’d woke with this particular ache. His stomach wasn’t roiling, his arms weren’t tied, there wasn’t a plug shoved up his arse, he wasn’t wearing a woman’s skirt and perhaps the most important difference was he’d asked for it. Anders shifted again thinking about Ser’s blatant disregard of boundaries and Fenris’ worries about crossing them. As confused as they were about those boundaries before the elf had left for that first village, they were definitely blurred afterwards.

They had both become pretty familiar and easy with their hands before that last day in Kirkwall. Since their escape from the Free Marches it was back to cautious interactions because neither was quite sure where they stood. From the very first night after their rescue Fenris had been just as careful with his touches as he had been after Anders had first been blinded. His hands hadn’t strayed anywhere near intimate spots unless he knew he had permission.

All of the nights and mornings Anders had wanted his hands there he’d had to give that permission. He was grateful for his caution and consideration. Even now, after Anders had finally given in to his desires, Fenris had remained careful. His caring was clear in the way he’d kept still and let Anders take his cock as deep as he’d wanted, the gentle tug on his hair, the soft strokes across his back when he’d been fighting memories. They were reminders that it was Fenris he was with and that his desires mattered. He smiled, content for the moment, hoping that there would be a next time.

Anders snuggled back against Fenris and wasn’t very surprised to find the elf already awake. There was a soft kiss on the back of his head, arms tightening around him for a moment and his soft voice close to his ear. “Finally awake?”

“Did you sleep at all?” Anders asked curiously.

“No,” Fenris replied. “How are you feeling?”

“Sore…a little sticky but…good,” said Anders quietly.

They remained pressed together for a bit before Anders yawned and stretched, rolling to his back when Fenris stood. He listened to the elf move around the room, heard the sound of water and felt the bed dip next to him moments later.

“A washcloth,” Fenris said evenly before he felt it set on his chest. “We still smell of flowers.”

“I know,” Anders said smiling as he took the cloth and scrubbed his stomach. “I must have left quite a spot on her comforter too.”

“I don’t think she will mind very much,” said Fenris sounding amused. “She did encourage us.”

There was a brief squeeze to his shoulder and the elf disappeared. Anders rolled to his side and gingerly cleaned his arse. He sat up and winced, sitting still until it was a little more comfortable. “I’d forgotten how strong you are,” he said lightly. “Next time I think you can set the pace.”

“I’m glad that you want there to be a next time,” Fenris said quietly.

Anders smiled as he stood. “I do want a next time. I don’t deserve your patience or your love…but I’m glad I have it.”

“Neither is something I give lightly,” Fenris said evenly. “I believe you do.”

“Let’s get dressed,” said Anders quietly. After everything that had happened he was flattered that the elf still felt that way.

He shuffled around the bed and knelt to find his clothes. They were dressed in short order and he stood still while Fenris retied the blindfold. With his staff at his back and his hand on Fenris’ shoulder, Anders let the elf guide him while his thoughts wandered. His mind was blessedly calm for the moment and he was determined to enjoy it. One encounter wouldn’t erase what Ser had done and he knew that. There was hope that it would eventually fade however.

*

The familiar feel of Anders’ hand at his shoulder was comforting. The mage generally preferred to find his own way around but it was common enough that Fenris didn’t think much of it. He kept glancing over his shoulder as he searched for Surana and Tuck however. Smiles had been rare the last few months in Kirkwall and not quite as rare after they’d docked in Denerim. Anders’ smiles had been genuine before his capture. Afterwards they seemed mostly strained or false altogether. Fenris kept turning to see his smile. It was a small thing, a slight upward curve at the corners of his mouth, but it was a real smile none the less.

He kept his pace a little slower than normal. Anders wasn’t limping or taking mincing steps but Fenris had seen the wince when he’d sat up. If there had been damage he knew Anders would have healed it but he made a mental note to go easier the next time the mage wanted to be pounded. There was no real hurry at the moment anyway. Tomorrow he would have to go to the village for supplies and he would listen to the rumors about Kirkwall while he was there. For now he was content to enjoy a moment of peace.

After a short search he found them in one of the gardens. Surana was sitting under a tree, listening intently to Tuck. The boy was telling her of some of the mischief he and his brother had gotten into in Denerim. Fenris and Anders had heard some of these tales, told at night around the fire. They had heard this one and he stopped a short distance away.

“It’s nice to hear him happy,” Anders said softly moving to stand next to him.

“His life has been hard,” Fenris replied.

“Have you thought about what’s going to happen to him when we meet Hawke in Highever?”

“My…concerns have been elsewhere.”

“Me too,” Anders said sounding a little guilty. “He needs a teacher.”

“Do you wish to remain his mentor?”

“I do,” he replied thoughtfully after a moment. “It’s tough sometimes and there are things I’m not sure how to teach him, like hitting your enemies instead of your allies with a fireball, but…It’s a start isn’t it.”

“There will be many more like him in the years to come,” Fenris said. “Perhaps…”

“What is it?” Anders said placing a hand on his arm. “You sound almost excited.”

“Let me think on this a bit,” said Fenris patting his hand. “You may have stumbled on a solution but there are…other things to consider.”

Surana’s laughter interrupted a reply but the mage squeezed his arm lightly before letting go and drawing his staff. He walked towards them confidently, still smiling, and Fenris followed a pace behind. Surana sprang up when she noticed them and a grin split her face immediately.

“You look much better,” she said brightly. “Should I have someone change the bedding?”

“Yes,” Anders replied smiling sheepishly.

“That’s a funny looking bruise,” Tuck said frowning slightly as he joined them.

Anders’ cheeks turned pink and he laughed nervously. “They’re called love bites.”

The boy’s brows pulled down and he asked, “What causes them?”

“Sucking mostly,” Anders said his brows pulling down as well. “Why do you sound upset?”

“The older kids were teasing Gabe about a bruise on his neck just like that,” Tuck said gesturing at Anders. “This was…around a week before he got angry.”

“Did your brother have a girlfriend?” Surana asked seriously.

“Or a boyfriend?” Anders added also quite serious.

“He was sneaking out a lot to see Rachel,” Tuck said looking nervous at the sudden scrutiny. “He stopped after…whatever happened.”

“That’s very suspicious,” Surana said frowning deeply.

“There’s not much to be done about it now,” Fenris said. “We should concentrate on getting to Hawke.”

Surana nudged Tuck’s arm and nodded at his nervous glance. “About that…” he said looking at his feet. “What’s…going to happen?”

“We were just talking about that,” Anders said.

“You are welcome to come with us Tuck,” Fenris said.

“What about Gabe?” Tuck asked anxiously.

“Your brother is welcome as well,” said Fenris. “You will need a mentor for years to come…and I may have things to teach him.”

Anders arched an eyebrow at him but didn’t press. Tuck smiled, looking happy and relieved.

“Let’s go see what the cook’s got,” Surana said cheerfully. “I’m sure you two are hungry.”


	27. Chapter 27

Fenris had left the next day to buy their supplies and Tuck had begged to go with. After a promise to not wander off on his own, the elf had relented but Anders was left at the keep with nothing much to do. He didn’t want to run into the Templars or the vagrant and Fenris had swiftly agreed. In the keep there wasn’t likely to be any trouble but Surana had promised to watch over him. That was a little annoying but Anders didn’t make an issue of it. Spending a day with her was preferable to spending it alone.

Anders went back to their room and sat on the bed hoping they would return quickly and to wait. As nice as sleeping in a bed was he found himself looking forward to being in the wilderness again. He didn’t have to watch everything he said and did. He turned towards the door as it opened and shut.

“Finally,” Surana said. “I have you to myself.” Anders frowned and arched an eyebrow. “You know me better than that,” she said sounding amused as she walked across the room. A chair scraped across the floor, closer to the bed.

“I suppose I do,” Anders said. “Why do you want me to yourself then?”

“Do you realize how lucky you are?” she asked instead of answering.

“Is that a rhetorical question?” said Anders incredulously. “The only sort of luck I have is usually the kind you don’t want.”

“What about Fenris? Despite _everything_ that’s happened he obviously adores you.”

“What are you getting at Neria?” he asked suspiciously.

“Just shut up and listen for once in your life,” said Surana sternly. “You’ve got something precious that not a lot of people find. I had it but I made one decision that he couldn’t get past. Fenris might not completely agree with you but he stayed with you anyway.”

“I fully expected to die that night,” Anders sighed. “I’m still sort of shocked I didn’t.”

“Our opinions of the Circle and the Chantry are pretty similar,” she said sounding amused. “Let me tell you my story and maybe you’ll understand.”

“All right.”

“When I left the Tower with Duncan, I had no idea that I’d have to end the blight with the help of one other Warden. I spent nearly a year gathering an army. It was probably the happiest I’ve ever been despite the hardships. I loved Alistair and he loved me. We had plans…but I spared Loghain. Made him a Grey Warden. Alistair has hated me ever since.”

“It was a sensible decision,” Anders said frowning. “There simply weren’t enough Wardens to ensure victory.”

“We didn’t know exactly why only Grey Wardens could end a blight when I spared him,” Surana said softly. “Alistair didn’t find out until it was all over. Before, he saw me rewarding the betrayer and after, all he understood was that Loghain had gotten the glory. I was going to do it myself…didn’t know how I was going to go on without him. Loghain…he didn’t beg…but…he found atonement for all of his atrocities through one selfless act that saved his beloved country. I don’t think it would have mattered even if we had known. Alistair would never have gotten past the fact that Loghain had gotten Duncan killed. Duncan was like a father to him.”

“I had no idea,” he said quietly. “You never told any of us that you’d had a lover.”

“I was trying to forget,” Surana said. “I would have been perfectly happy at the palace in Denerim…being his mistress instead of Teagan’s. He’s still bitter…the bastard knows where I’m at and the only time he’s been here he glared at me the whole time.”

“Fenris was very angry with me,” Anders said thoughtfully. “He knows what we’ve suffered though. He promised me that he’d come up with a solution…a way for mages to be free yet still watched…something that would satisfy both of us.”

“I’m sure he’ll figure something out,” Surana said warmly. “Just make sure you hang onto him no matter what.”

“I’ll try,” said Anders with a small smile.

“Come on,” she said cheerfully. Surana pulled him to his feet and led him to the door. “You can help me until they get back.”

*

It was just after lunch when Fenris made it back to the keep with Tuck. He sent the boy with the supplies they had bought to their room after inquiring about where Anders was. Tuck hurried off to pack their gear and Fenris hurried to the dining hall. Fenris slowed before entering, keeping his pace unhurried as he crossed the room. Fenris bowed slightly to the Arl and Arlessa and came up behind Anders, who was sitting next to Surana with his back to the door. Surana’s face was relatively blank but Anders was frowning a little when he turned in the chair.

“I am sorry to interrupt,” he said politely. “May I speak with Messere Anson?”

Teagan smiled, his wife glared, Surana was now frowning slightly and Anders’ frown had deepened. “Pardon me,” Anders said as he stood. “Private affairs.”

Anders left the room and Fenris bowed again before following. When he joined the mage in the hallway he pulled him gently further from the door. “We must leave immediately,” Fenris whispered.

“What have you heard?” Anders asked softly.

“The rumors here are disturbingly accurate. That vagrant must have been in Kirkwall and is now telling anyone who will listen what really happened.”

“Does anyone believe him?”

“I’m not sure if people believe but they are passing on his tale. It is only a matter of time before someone intelligent makes connections.”

“I’ll tell them we’ve gotten word of a family emergency and have to leave immediately.”

“If he insists on knowing where give him the name of a village that’s close,” Fenris said grimly. “Make it look like we were heading home anyway and our stop here was a small diversion. I’m going to the stables for our horses and the boy is gathering our things.”

“I’ll get Neria to take me there,” Anders said turning back to the dining hall.

Within an hour everything had been packed on the horses and they stood outside the stables with Surana. The Arl had offered thanks even though Anders hadn’t been able to help his son and best wishes on their journey home. Fenris was impatient to be going but sat on top of his horse waiting while Surana said her farewells. She whispered something to Tuck that left him red faced and grinning. After she gave him a fierce hug Surana moved on to Anders while the boy mounted his horse. They spoke softly and also embraced, Fenris stifled his irritation, and she walked up to him while Anders mounted his horse. She looked up at him for a moment and then smiled.

“Take care of him,” she said.

Fenris arched an eyebrow at her but nodded. “Thank you for your assistance.”

“You’re welcome,” Surana said. “I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”

Surana stepped away and after a look back, Fenris kicked his horse forward. His plan was to head east and back into the Bannorn. If they kept a steady pace and headed north they should reach Highever before the four months were up. He hoped to find an abandoned building outside the city they could spend the rest of their time waiting in. His hopes of not running into any more trouble were dashed a few hours after leaving Redcliffe behind.

“Fenris,” Tuck hollered from behind. “I think someone’s following us.”

With a curse he halted the horses and turned to look. The land was fairly level at the moment and a dust plume could be seen in the distance. There were no guarantees that it wasn’t simply a merchant caravan behind them but Fenris didn’t want to risk it. He hopped off his horse and found Anders had already scooted backwards.

“Take the reins of the other horse Tuck,” Fenris said grimly. “Keep up.”


	28. Chapter 28

It took a nearly a week but the Templars behind them had finally caught up. They were on the edge of the Bannorn and Fenris had taken them into the forest. Anders now had no idea where Fenris or the horses were. With the Templars at their heels they had turned to fight. Fenris had refused to turn over either him or Tuck. Despite being outnumbered they had whittled down their numbers.

That was when the vagrant had appeared. Anders was surprised to find that he was a mage as well, one who had apparently become unhinged. An enormous ice storm had further reduced the number of Templars but it had also separated him and Tuck from Fenris. This vagrant, who was named Percy he discovered through mad ramblings, had followed him and Tuck.

They were chased through the forest with Percy at their heels for a while. Anders had also discovered that Percy had been one of the luckier mages that had escaped the Gallows after Meredith had gone completely crazy. He had escaped with the Gallows funds already planning revenge. Percy had a strange fascination with Hawke and had spoken with Sebastian at length many times. While they were on Isabela’s ship, Sebastian had headed for Starkhaven and Percy made it out of the city with his life but very little sanity.

Anders didn’t know how much of what had been shouted during their chase was true and at this point he wasn’t inclined to care much. His act of desperation was far from perfect and he knew it even before asking Hawke’s help. It was painful to think of what could and likely had happened to the Gallow’s mages afterwards. Many of them wouldn’t know how to function or stay hidden.

Long ago mages had allowed the Templars to become their watchdogs. He felt for the innocent victims of his actions but the Circle wasn’t a solution. It created mages like Orsino, pushed to blood magic because of oppression. It created Templars like Meredith, dedicated to eradicating mages for their own good. Templars like Alrik and Karras, hungry for power and abusing their authority. It also created mages like Percy, Templar pets that lied and spread rumors so they wouldn’t catch the worst of the abuse.

He might have felt sorry for Percy if not for Ser. As it was he was straining to control Justice and finding his way through the forest with Tuck draped over his back wasn’t helping much. The boy was only semi-conscious and would likely feel terrible when he woke completely. Two Templars had surprised them while trying to put distance between themselves and the insane mage behind them. Tuck had reacted, throwing an intense lightening spell. While it had incapacitated the Templars long enough for Anders to finish them off, he’d been too close and the spell had arced back to him.

It was entirely too quiet in the forest at the moment. Percy had ceased his shouting soon after Tuck had incapacitated himself. Anders couldn’t hear Templars crashing through the brush but he also couldn’t hear if anyone else was sneaking up on them. He was thankful night had fallen though. So far it appeared to be giving him an advantage.

Anders made his way carefully. With his arms under Tuck’s legs he couldn’t search for obstacles as well but so far he’d managed. He was currently heading for what he assumed was a campfire glimpsed from in between trees and bushes. It was risky but he was hoping to find someone who might be sympathetic at the very least.

“Who’s there?” said a very familiar voice warily when he’d gotten fairly close.

“Varric?” Anders said smiling. “What are you doing here?”

“Blondie?”

“Yes it’s me. I could use a little help here.”

“Hawke!” Varric hollered before he heard the dwarf coming closer. “Andraste’s ass Blondie...what happened to the kid?”

“Anders!” Hawke exclaimed. “Where’s Fenris? Oh shit what happened?”

“He’ll be fine,” Anders said. “Could you take him?”

“Tuck!” a new voice exclaimed. “What did you do to him!”

“Nothing,” said Anders impatiently. “Would one of you please come and get him?”

Varric’s voice was a low rumble not too far away and Gabe had fallen silent. “Where’s Fenris?” Hawke said as he approached.

“Still out there,” he replied quietly. “Along with half a dozen Templars and a mage who paid a good deal of coin to see me captured and raped. I’m going to find him and there won’t be enough left of him to fill a thimble when I’m done.”

Tuck groaned softly as he changed hands and Hawke said tersely, “I’m coming with you.”

“Keep the boy safe,” Anders said listening to his voice deepen even as he felt his consciousness pushed back as Justice pushed forward. “The injustice imposed upon me would have been much worse were it not for his bravery.”

“Anders!” Hawke called out as he turned back the way he’d come.

Justice walked calmly back into the forest, staff swinging in front of him and straining to hear anything that would tell him where Percy or Fenris was.

*

Fenris leaned against a tree, panting and covered in blood only some of which was his. After the ice storm he’d spent a bit of time getting rid of the Templars that continued to hound him. Following the chatter of the clearly deranged mage had led Fenris right to him but after the initial battle the forest had fallen silent.

He wanted nothing more than to rip this mage to shreds but he apparently knew just as much about Fenris as he did Hawke and Anders. Percy had managed to keep his distance, pelting Fenris with spell after spell. He’d gotten in a few good blows with his sword but the trees that surrounded them hindered its use.

Pushing off of the tree he scanned the dark woods around him. Unless Percy was fueling his spells with blood, which was a distinct possibility, his mana had to be very low. Now was the time to strike but he’d have to find the mage first. Heading in the direction he’d seen him flee, Fenris made his way carefully, his sword ready. He could see little and considered briefly trying to find Anders but that would likely take as long as finding Percy. Anders also had the mageling to worry about and keeping him away from fighting was probably a better idea.

Warily he continued on, pausing every now and then to look and listen carefully. The quiet was broken suddenly by a piercing cry not too far away. Spells erupted and he hurried in that direction. Fenris saw Anders first; Fade light pouring from cracks in his skin that announced his demon in control. That didn’t surprise him much. He ignored the silhouetted person standing close to Anders. Instead he followed a fireball to their target.

It bounced harmlessly off a shield and Fenris got closer hoping he hadn’t been seen. He waited for the shield to fall and the instant it did he rushed forward with a roar, his brands lit. Moments before he reached the mage, Percy had turned slightly. His eyes were slits, mouth open in a snarl, skin bubbling and melting as a rage demon emerged.

Fenris swung his sword, driving the demon back. He felt a cool wash of healing before more spells hit their common target. Arrows disappeared into its fiery flesh but Fenris concentrated on destroying the thing. Only after the demon had roared its death and disappeared into a pile of ash did he turn to Anders. He fell to his knees, thoroughly exhausted and watched the two figures approach. Justice had receded by the time they knelt next to him.

“Hawke,” Fenris croaked tiredly. “Why are you here?”

“Let’s get back to camp,” he said. “Then we’ll exchange stories. After that we can convince Gabe that Anders isn’t a monster.”

*

Tuck sat at the campfire wedged between the dwarf and his brother. So far his reunion with Gabe hadn’t gone how he’d imagined. It was embarrassing to start with that he’d been carried into camp half-conscious because the spell he’d used came back on him. After finding out why Gabe was doing nothing but glaring at Anders he was actually starting to get angry.

He’d silently endured while Anders and Fenris had told of everything that had happened since they parted company in Denerim. Tuck had listened patiently to Hawke and Varric tell their tale. Soon after they’d left the city with Gabe, the ship Captain had dropped them off near Amaranthine to avoid a ship full of Templars. None of them knew exactly what had happened to the Captain but Gabe and his new friends had been chased by these Templars halfway across the Bannorn. An elf named Merrill had volunteered to lead the Templars away into the southern forest while they headed north to Highever.

It seemed like Gabe’s journey had been just as interesting as his had been. His brother didn’t seem to understand that he needed to stay with Anders. If the previous few hours were anything to go by, Tuck still had _a lot_ to learn. He frowned sourly and crossed his arms over his chest listening to Anders explain for about the third time about Justice. Having heard enough, Tuck pushed himself up and stalked off into the forest away from all of them.

“Get back here Tuck,” Gabe yelled after him irritably.

“No,” he muttered angrily.

“Tuck!” Anders called out.

“I’m not going far,” he yelled back.

Tuck strode to the very edge of the firelight then past, waiting behind a bush for Gabe to follow. After a few minutes his brother appeared and Tuck shoved him with all his strength. Gabe staggered with a startled yelp and Tuck took another quick step forward and shoved him again.

“Knock it off,” Gabe hissed shoving him back. “What’s your problem anyway?”

“You, you stupid jerk!” Tuck yelled furiously. “You’ve been mean to everyone and pissed off at everything and I’m sick of it. What did that bitch do to you?”

“Keep your voice down,” he said. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m not dumb Gabe,” said Tuck scowling up at him. “What did Angelina do that made you change?”

“None of your business,” Gabe replied sullenly. “This is about the glowing freak show isn’t it?”

“His name is Anders and he is not a freak!” Tuck growled. “He saved me from the Templars!”

“Calm yourself,” Fenris ordered.

Tuck yelped at his sudden appearance and yelped again when flame sprouted from his clenched fists. Shaking his arms and embarrassed once more he glanced up and found the elf as impassive as ever.

“Return to camp,” said Fenris. “I will talk to your brother.”

With a nervous glance at Gabe Tuck edged carefully past, swiping at his cheeks.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a little short but the next bit I have in mind would have made it a little too big.

Fenris noticed their similarities first. They had the same slender build, a slightly square jaw, broad nose, high cheekbones and nearly identical dark eyes. Their differences were glaring. Where Tuck was filled with curiosity, intelligence, cheerfulness and a shy sort of bravery his brother seemed to be all defiant anger. He couldn’t help but wonder what had happened to the boy Tuck had spoken so fondly of around many night fires.

Gabe glared at him, his hands clenched into fists, and Fenris snorted. “What do you want?” he growled irritably.

“You to stop behaving like this.” Fenris said evenly.

“Like I care,” Gabe said bristling visibly.

“You are not the first orphan to be treated badly by those who are supposed to care for them,” Fenris snarled. “Ask Anders about the scars on his back.”

“I don’t care,” he said defiantly. “We’re leaving as soon as we can get away.”

“Tuck needs Anders,” said Fenris taking a step closer.

Gabe didn’t flinch or shy away but puffed up his chest and glared back. “Tuck can figure it out by himself. We don’t need any of you.”

“And if his next mistake kills him?” Fenris asked coldly. “It just might. Mages are dangerous, the Fade full of demons and pitfalls. Learning about these things from an experienced mage can save both of your lives.”

He looked doubtful for a moment but the defiance returned quickly. “We don’t need you.”

“I believe Tuck has already made his choice. He needs you as much as he needs Anders.”

Fenris turned and stalked back to the campfire, too tired and irritated to deal with this frustrating child at the moment. Tuck was now sitting in the space he’d vacated, his knees pulled up to his chest, arms wrapped around them and his face hidden from view. Anders’ arm was around his shoulders and everyone was quiet. He sat beside the boy, close but not touching and Tuck didn’t react at all. Gabe returned moments later, scowling as he flopped down next to Varric.

“Let’s get some rest,” Hawke sighed. “I’ll take first watch. We’ll go looking for your horses in the morning.”

Anders whispered something to Tuck and he looked up and nodded before simply scooting back a little and lying back between them. Fenris sat up for a while after Anders had curled up next to the boy, watching Gabe stare at his brother. Their gazes met briefly and Gabe’s deep frown turned to a scowl before he turned his back to the fire. Fenris stood, exchanging a look with Varric. The dwarf shrugged and settled down with his fingers laced across his chest. Fenris moved around behind Anders and lay behind him, scooting as close as he could.

Sleep wasn’t hard to find and morning came quickly. After breakfast Fenris found himself paired with Hawke to search for their horses. Anders and Tuck went one direction, Varric and Gabe another and he and Hawke ended up between them. He didn’t hold out much hope of actually finding the horses though it would be nice to have the packhorse at least. Fenris was much more interested in finding out what Hawke knew of Gabe and what he would think of Fenris’ idea. Hawke and Isabela would have a crucial role if it was to work efficiently.

When the others were out of sight he asked, “What do you know about Gabe?”

“Only what Varric has passed on,” Hawke said disgustedly. “I can’t deal with him.”

“You’ve found someone you can’t charm?” Fenris replied disbelievingly.

“Hardly,” Hawke snorted. “He reminds me so much of my brother I can’t talk to him without yelling. Andraste’s tits, I’ve even called him Carver a few times.”

“I shall ask the dwarf then,” Fenris said feeling a little uncomfortable. He didn’t know much about Hawke’s little brother since he had died before Fenris had met Hawke. Fenris cleared his throat and scanned his surroundings.

“Why do you ask?” Hawke said curiously.

“Anders believes that a particular Templar may have abused Gabe somehow through conversations with Tuck,” he replied. “He did not seem to like the idea of Tuck staying with Anders and I.”

“He doesn’t particularly like the idea of staying with any of us,” said Hawke frowning. “He’s convinced that he and his brother can make it on their own. Varric can’t convince him that Tuck _needs_ someone to teach him and I can’t talk to him without it degenerating into a screaming match. I don’t know what we would have done for Bethany if Father had died even a year earlier.”

“Tuck has already expressed his desire to remain with us,” Fenris said slowly. “Anders also wants him to remain. He also asked if we would accept his brother as well and I agreed. I believe it would be in their best interests to remain together.”

“You didn’t seem too keen on the idea in Denerim,” Hawke said cautiously.

“I didn’t want Anders captured,” said Fenris bitterly. “I failed anyway.”

“Fenris,” began Hawke.

“I do not wish to discuss it,” he interrupted tersely. “There is something else I’d rather speak of. Isabela will still be meeting with us in Highever?”

“She said she would,” Hawke said. “With me, Merrill and Gabe off the ship the Templars would have no reason to hold her.”

“It seems to me the circles will eventually rebel,” Fenris said glancing at Hawke. “There will be many like Tuck. Anders has said in the past that the only good thing about the circle is mages being taught to use their magic.”

“One of the many things Anders and I agree on,” said Hawke still cautious. “If it weren’t for being imprisoned and Templars like Alrik.”

“Templars are necessary,” he said firmly. Fenris held up a hand to stall an angry retort. “I have an idea, if you’ll hear me out?” Hawke was now frowning but gestured for him to go on. “Mages must be watched but if their watchers already care about them, there won’t be a power issue.”

“And you want to test this idea on Gabe and Tuck,” Hawke said thoughtfully. “It has appeal. If it’s going to work, Gabe will need to learn what to watch for.”

“I have been a slave to the worst type of mages possible,” said Fenris. “I can teach him.”

“Fair enough,” Hawke said nodding. He stopped walking and turned to face him and asked seriously, “What do you need from me?”

“A safe place,” Fenris replied. “Supplies to live on. If it works…students to teach.”

“I think I can convince Isabela to help,” Hawke said smiling. “Now we just need to convince Gabe.”


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Implied Child Abuse

Tuck had been mostly quiet as they searched. Anders had been mostly quiet as well. As it was a little hard for him to look he had been listening intently. After they were both fed up with the search around mid-afternoon they agreed it was useless and headed back to camp.

“How are you feeling?” Anders asked conversationally.

“He’s still acting like a jerk,” Tuck said sullenly. “I had hoped…”

“Give him time,” said Anders. “Whatever happened must have affected him a lot. It might have happened more than once.”

“I never thought of that,” said Tuck softly. “What can I do?”

“Keeping control of your temper would help.”

“Yeah well…he made me mad. He didn’t listen to anything.”

“I think he’s just worried about you. Justice can be scary.”

“Then why is he more worried about you than what I did to myself?” Tuck asked angrily. “You and Fenris have never done anything to hurt me.”

“I got the impression last night that he assumed I knocked you out,” Anders said. “He was focused on you being hurt not how it actually happened. Finding out your little brother is being taught by an abomination doesn’t exactly inspire trust either.”

Tuck made an irritated noise. “He used to trust me…you know…believe me.”

“I don’t know Tuck,” Anders sighed. “We can’t force him to trust us.”

“I still want to go with you,” Tuck said sounding uncertain. “But…”

“Gabe is still welcome but we won’t force him,” Anders said gently. “We have some time, maybe we can convince him it’s for the best.”

“I hope so,” said Tuck dejectedly. They walked on in silence for a moment and he continued sounding more determined than sad. “Why did the lightning come back at me?”

Anders spent the rest of the afternoon explaining his mistake and ways to avoid making that same mistake in the future. Tuck seemed as interested as he always had been. He listened and asked questions and like their lessons often did, it wandered to a slightly different subject. Back at camp they sat around the cold fire pit chewing on jerky from Hawke’s provisions while they spoke.

Their lesson was interrupted by the return of Varric and Gabe. They had actually found one of the riding horses and it was tied up with the others. Gabe pulled Tuck aside and they moved away. Anders listened to their whispering, glad there were no raised voices like the previous night. Varric settled next to him and the longer the dwarf remained quiet the more uncomfortable Anders became.

“So,” Anders said quietly. “How do you like Fereldan?”

“I could do with a bit less camping out,” Varric replied. “I don’t think I’m ever going to get the mud off of my coat.”

“Better your coat than between your toes,” Anders said smiling. “It’s the only thing Fenris has complained about so far.”

“I’m sure he’s done a good bit of cursing,” he replied after a chuckle.

“Varric,” said Anders gruffly.

“I’m not going to ask Blondie,” said Varric softly. “I’m sure Broody has that covered. I was actually wondering if you could get Junior over there to open up.”

“Has he told you anything?” Anders asked.

“Not in so many words,” he replied with a sigh. “I can read between the lines though. I’m the only one of us he trusts, very loosely mind you, but he won’t say anything about the last few years.”

“Tuck has told me a few things,” said Anders cautiously. “I have my suspicions but…what makes you think he’d tell me? After last night…”

“Not the greatest introduction,” Varric said in agreement. “I was thinking more along the lines of one traumatic experience survivor to another.”

“Fenris has a better chance of that than me,” Anders snorted. “Gabe isn’t going to get past the glowing any time soon.”

“He wasn’t too happy with Broody either,” Varric sighed. “Let’s get some wood together. I don’t think we’ll be going anywhere today.”

Tuck agreed to help cheerfully and Gabe seemed to go along resentfully. Soon enough they had a fire going and they were all seated around it when Hawke and Fenris finally returned. They had found the packhorse, an unfortunate casualty of the ice storm, but had salvaged their packs. Most of their supplies had weathered the freezing cold but some had to be thrown out.

Anders listened as Fenris prepared dinner to their discussion of where to go next. By general consensus they would continue north to Highever. The next village would be a brief stop for more food stuffs and settlements would be avoided after that. There were too many of them now for the story Fenris and Tuck had come up with to work very well. Anders was hopeful that more trouble could be avoided however.

As supper cooked Fenris dug out the papers he’d found in Ser’s packs. Hawke and Varric both were pouring over them, asking the elf an occasional question. He could still hear Gabe and Tuck speaking quietly to each other. Anders was content to listen to the activity around him, a little unhappy with how poorly their reunion had gone but hopeful that there would be no more people like Ser following them.

He stood after a while and sought out Fenris who was sitting across the fire with Hawke and Varric. Anders whispered his need to relieve himself and received acknowledgement. He didn’t normally announce this particular need but with Templars still possibly roaming the forest he wanted someone to know where he’d went. Without much of anything on his mind he made his way a short distance into the forest.

Standing behind a bush with his staff held in the crook of his arm, Anders unlaced his trousers and froze with his prick in hand. Listening intently he heard the sound again, bushes rustling behind him. His heart began to race and he had a spell at his fingertips seconds later.

“Who’s there?” he called out harshly.

“Relax freak,” Gabe sneered condescendingly. “I have to piss.”

“A whole forest and you have to follow me?” Anders huffed.

“Maybe I don’t want to be alone,” he replied mockingly as he got closer.

“Well I do,” snarled Anders as he tucked himself away and yanked on the laces of his trousers.

“Aww, are you shy?”

Suddenly Anders could feel Ser behind him, stiff cock pressed to his arse, hands fondling him, a phantom bell jingling in his ear. His stomach lurched uncertainly and he swallowed hard still tugging on the laces of his trousers. There was a light touch to his shoulder and words he didn’t understand in his half-panicked state. Anders batted the hand away and ran into a tree with his shoulder scooting away from the presence he could feel, shaking his head to clear it.

“What was that for?” Gabe said indignantly.

“Don’t touch me,” Anders hissed furiously. “If you want someone to hold your prick for you and fondle your ass while you piss that’s your business. I prefer to be alone.”

Justice pushed forward briefly and he heard Gabe scrambling away. He turned and walked quickly, keeping the light of the campfire to his right as he circled around.

*

Tuck watched the spot where Anders and Gabe had disappeared. He noticed Fenris also glancing over his shoulder frequently, watching that same spot. They had both been gone too long. Fenris finally stood, mumbling something to Hawke and Varric and started off in the direction they had gone. Tuck scrambled to his feet to follow when Anders finally appeared from a completely different direction.

Fenris met him in a few quick strides radiating concern that he only showed Anders. His mentor’s smile was tight as they spoke softly and Tuck noticed his hand brushing at his stomach. He frowned, recognizing the odd habit that had been far less common lately. Gabe chose that moment to appear and Tuck’s frown deepened. His brother looked washed out, his eyes a little too wide, a simple frown instead of the usual scowl or glare.

Gabe glanced at Anders as he sunk down a little ways away from the fire then at him for a moment. Tuck moved to him and sat close, bringing his knees up and glancing at him again. Across the fire Anders was seated with his legs crossed, Fenris next to him, staff across both of their laps. Hawke and Varric were giving both little groups concerned looks but stayed where they were.

“What happened?” Tuck asked quietly after a moment.

“I think…I reminded him…” Gabe said guiltily. He glanced at Tuck and turned defensive. “I didn’t want to be alone. Stupid woods are creepy.”

“Sure you just didn’t want to pick on him?” said Tuck sourly.

Gabe glared at him and fell silent. Tuck huffed but remained seated next to him. After a while his brother was staring blankly at the fire and he couldn’t help but wonder what he’d remembered.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, a little short. This one was being stubborn though.
> 
> Trigger Warning: Child Abuse

Anders wasn’t very happy with the conversation around him. He was behind Fenris on one of their horses, clinging a little more than he had been recently. During the night another of their horses had wandered into camp and Tuck was riding that one. Tuck and Gabe were bringing up the rear, Hawke leading and Varric was beside them.

They had been riding most of the day and last night’s incident had been carefully avoided by everyone. Anders was grateful for that but the current topic wasn’t much better. It began with the papers Fenris had found in Ser’s belongings and had moved on to trying to remember every bit of Percy’s diatribe. The conclusion they were coming to wasn’t something he particularly wanted to hear.

“So there’s someone else out there after me,” Anders said sullenly.

“Us. I think that’s the safer assumption,” Hawke said seriously. “That man we killed the other night may have been lying about masterminding this to protect whoever really set it up.”

“Wonderful,” he muttered irritably.

“Can you remember if…he…said anything about who hired him?” asked Hawke.

Anders pressed his face into Fenris’ shoulder and the elf gripped his arm a little tighter. “Hawke,” he said warningly.

“I’m not trying to pry or push,” Hawke said almost gently. “Anything we can figure out will give us an advantage. Judging from that letter it seems that I could have easily been his first target instead of Anders.”

His voice had become grim and Anders sighed. He didn’t really want to think about those five or six days especially after last night’s episode but Hawke was right. It could have just as easily been him Ser chased first.

“It’s alright,” he said softly sitting up straighter. Fenris patted his arm and silence fell as he thought. “I don’t remember him saying much about who had hired him,” Anders said after a while. “Just that it was a hefty sum to get me to the Circle with a large bonus if…” He shuddered and scooted closer to Fenris. “Tuck do you remember anything?”

“When you first woke up,” Tuck replied immediately. “He said that ‘ _They_ said you were kind’. Other than that, no. He wasn’t real interested in me.”

“They,” Hawke said grimly. “I guess that settles that."

“Andraste’s flaming knickers,” Anders muttered. “As if Sebastian wasn’t enough.”

“Let’s stop here,” said Hawke after a while. “I believe it’s my turn to cook.”

The process of making camp didn’t change much with three more people. Wood was gathered by Anders, Tuck and Gabe while Fenris and Varric took care of the horses and Hawke went through their packs. After Tuck started the fire bedrolls were laid out and Hawke began supper. When the activity had settled Fenris was a short distance away talking quietly with Varric. He could hear Tuck asking Hawke tentative questions about what he was doing and Anders was sitting by the fire trying not to think about Ser and who his employer was.

His unsuccessful attempts were interrupted by someone flopping down next to him. Since everyone else was accounted for Anders knew it was Gabe. He gripped his knees to keep from clenching his hands into fists.

“Yes?” said Anders sounding cold even to himself.

“I’m…sorry,” Gabe replied in a small voice. “I didn’t mean to…make you remember…”

“Well you did,” he snapped.

“I didn’t know okay,” Gabe growled sullenly.

Anders bit back a scathing comment and took a deep breath instead. “I know you’ve gone through something,” he said not feeling any calmer than before. “I think it’s the only reason you’re sitting here now. _Talk to someone._ I didn’t want to either but…it did help.”

“I can’t…she…” said Gabe sounding frightened.

“She isn’t here,” Anders interrupted firmly. “She can’t hurt you anymore.”

“I can’t,” he replied more forcefully.

He listened as Gabe stalked away, turning his frown to the fire. Varric grumbled and Tuck called after him. Anders heard more hurrying footsteps and moments later Fenris was sitting next to him where Gabe had been.

“Varric and Tuck have gone after him,” Fenris said.

“He apologized,” Anders said after a sigh. “It seems my suspicions were correct. This Templar Tuck mentioned abused him somehow and must have threatened him to keep him silent. He said he can’t talk about it.”

“Alain was threatened with Tranquility,” Hawke said shortly. “It’s not surprising that another would use the same sort of tactics. I’m not sure Gabe would have cared about a threat to himself though.”

“Why do you say that?” Fenris asked.

“Gabe ran off three times chasing after you three before Isabela finally got us out of port,” said Hawke. “He didn’t want to wait until we got to Highever.”

“You think she threatened Tuck?” said Anders.

“There are many reasons he reminds me of my brother,” Hawke said. “Carver didn’t like me all that much but Maker help anyone who even looked cross-eyed at Bethany. All of these sudden changes in plan have made him more annoying than he was before about getting back to Tuck. His brother just might be the only person that boy cares about at all.”

“What threat to either of them would still have him unwilling to even admit to the abuse?” Anders asked. “I…understand not wanting to talk about it but…”

“If Tuck were a little older,” Hawke said quietly. “If I could keep my bloody temper with him…you or Varric have the best chance of getting that kid to purge it.”

“Not me,” Anders said shaking his head. “I can barely deal with…what I went through.”

Anders shuddered and he felt Fenris rubbing his back. “Until he trusts us it matters little,” Fenris said calmly. “I doubt he will speak unless he feels safe.”

“So how do we convince him he’s safe?” asked Hawke. “Gabe’s been with us almost since you two left Denerim and he’s still stand-offish.”

“Patience,” Fenris replied.


	32. Chapter 32

Fenris lay on his back staring up at the ceiling of another abandoned farmhouse. This farm was larger than the other two they’d stopped at. The buildings were all intact but the large orchard had been mostly razed. Seedlings were thrusting up through the ground around the scorched remains of the trees. A village could be seen in the distance and Hawke and Varric would be departing for it soon. He would remain here with Anders and both boys.

The days in between their last conversation around the fire had been taken up by traveling with everyone avoiding certain issues. Anders wasn’t as calm as before they’d ran into Hawke but he wasn’t as bad as he’d been right after Ser either. Fenris had actively worked at curbing his irritation with Gabe for bringing forth memories better left buried. That the boy seemed to be fighting his own battle with terrible memories helped.

During the long days of riding Gabe was often quiet. He watched Anders and Tuck constantly. Anders was polite to the boy during their very few and extremely brief conversations. Neither of them had warmed up very much to the other however. Tuck was frustrated with his brother but so far had managed to keep his temper.

Dawn was breaking and Anders was still asleep, head resting on his chest and curled up close to him. Fenris had lain awake after the mage had fallen into a fitful sleep. He’d woken several times to sooth his restless lover. It had been a while since Anders’ dreams had kept him awake and he found himself more annoyed with Gabe.

Anders rolled to his back after a while, trapping his arm underneath his head. He shuddered and scrubbed his face. After a sigh he dropped his hands onto his chest. “Fenris?”

He rolled onto his side and hummed softly, brushing loose hair off of his forehead.

“Touch me,” Anders whispered.

Fenris suppressed a sigh and shifted until he was comfortable, now curled against Anders, and did as he was asked.

Everyone else was already up and about by the time Fenris and Anders emerged from the room they had claimed. Hawke and Varric left for the village shortly after. Fenris followed Anders and Tuck outside watching them from a distance. They sat under a nearby tree and he settled against the barn. After a while Gabe joined them outside but sat sullenly on the steps glowering at him and the mages in turn.

Now that he was thoroughly distracted, Anders seemed calm. His hand still strayed to his stomach but it wasn’t constant. Tuck seemed as interested and eager to learn as he always had but as the morning wore on Gabe watched Fenris less and his brother more. His glare slowly turned into a thoughtful frown.

Fenris made circuits of the dooryard periodically, watching for anyone approaching from the destroyed orchard and the path leading to the road. In between he watched the three people who hadn’t moved much all morning. Lunch was quiet and afterwards Anders joined him by the barn leaving the brothers together under the tree.

“Why does he hate me?” Anders asked softly as he leaned against the barn.

“That boy glares at everyone,” Fenris replied. “It’s not just you.”

Anders shrugged and turned towards him. “Tuck is going to tell him that he’s staying with us regardless of what Gabe decides to do. He’s positive that Gabe with come with.”

“Is he doing this right now?” Fenris asked watching them closely. Gabe’s glare was back but there were no raised voices.

“Yes,” said Anders. “I can’t hear them yelling so he must not be taking it too badly.”

“He does not appear happy but…”

“Fenris…” Anders interrupted straightening suddenly. He took a few steps away from the barn and turned a slow circle ending up facing the road. “Over there, I feel darkspawn…no just one.”

“A warden?”

“Possibly,” he replied seriously. “But who?”

“Take the boys into the barn,” Fenris said stepping forward to join him. “They are on the main road. Hopefully they will have no interest in you.”

“Be careful,” said Anders before walking quickly towards where Gabe and Tuck sat under the tree.

He was a little disturbed by the lack of protest from the mage but pushed it to the back of his mind. Fenris settled against a storage building where he could see the path leading to the main road. Gabe joined him moments later.

“What are you doing here?” Fenris asked irritably.

“I’m not completely useless,” he whispered fiercely. “Varric has been teaching me things.”

“Wardens are no one to trifle with,” said Fenris glancing at him. “A blind one embarrassed you quite thoroughly in Denerim.”

“Then he got himself caught and…”

“ _Do not_ finish that sentence,” Fenris snarled softly. “Belittling Anders won’t diminish your own experiences.”

“What would you know,” Gabe said meeting his gaze.

“More than you assume,” he replied tersely. “Be silent and follow my lead or get to the barn.”

Gabe scowled but fell silent. Fenris turned back to watch the path focusing on what might be coming. He ignored the restless boy beside him as time crept by. After an unknown length of it had gone by Fenris saw a horse turning onto the path from the main road. He cursed quietly and pushed Gabe lightly further out of sight behind the storage building. He ignored the annoyed huff behind him and watched the rider come into view.

Fenris recognized her immediately and stepped boldly into the middle of the path. “What are you doing here Surana?”

“Looking for you,” she replied cautiously. Surana held her staff in one hand and gripped the reins tightly with the other.

“Are you being followed?” he asked calmly as Gabe stepped out onto the path as well.

“Possibly,” Surana said nodding her head briefly. Her eyes flickered to Gabe and back to Fenris. “We don’t have anyone else to turn to though.”

“We?” said Fenris arching an eyebrow.

“Teagan’s youngest, Sophie,” said Surana turning the horse slightly. Behind her a girl no older than six years clung tightly to her. “Can we talk somewhere out of sight?”

“Come,” Fenris said after a moment of thought.

He turned towards the barn and Gabe followed him with another annoyed huff. Fenris scanned the yard and the countryside beyond for signs of anyone who might have been following her. He saw nothing out of the ordinary but quickened his pace anyway. Anders stood in the middle of the barn interior, his staff in one hand, in a defensive stance. Tuck was likely hidden in one of the stalls, their horses being out in the nearby pasture.

“Fenris?” Anders said questioningly.

“Peace,” Fenris said calmly. “We know her.”

“Hello again Anders,” Surana said tiredly. “I need your help.”

“Neria?” he said in shock.

Anders straightened and Tuck leapt out from one of the horse stalls. “Is that Sophie?” Tuck asked hurrying forwards.

“Hello Tuck,” Surana sighed. “It is Sophie. Is this your brother?”

“Yeah,” Tuck said distractedly. “What’s going on?”

“I’m a wanted woman now,” said Surana turning back towards Fenris. “She summoned a wisp and I wasn’t about to let Teagan or that bitch send her to the Tower.”

“Putting your lot in with ours isn’t the smartest choice,” Anders said frowning. “Kidnapping and mass murder aren’t really on the same level.”

“I had to find you,” Surana said her voice turning stern. “In a few months I’m not going to be at my best. Sophie isn’t going to be Teagan’s youngest for much longer.”

“You’re pregnant?!?” Anders whispered into the stunned silence. “I didn’t think that was possible.”

“You didn’t look fat when I saw you naked…” Tuck said in a confused rush. His eyes widened as all eyes snapped to him. He blushed furiously and muttered, “Shit.”

“It’s all right Tuck,” Surana said soothingly. “Our secret’s out anyway. I think I’m being followed by the people who hired that twisted bastard to catch you Anders.”

“I believe we have a lot to discuss,” Fenris said offering Surana a hand off of her horse.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, a lot of dialogue.

With Surana’s horse in the pasture with the rest they had gone inside the house. Tuck had coaxed Sophie into a far corner of the main room. Anders wasn’t sure if he was more irritated or touched that the boy had sought out and told his former Commander what he and Fenris hadn’t. That was a discussion for later however. He sat in the middle of the empty room listening to Fenris pace while Surana told them what had happened since they had fled Redcliffe. Gabe was lurking behind him somewhere.

The Templars had left the city mere hours after they had. While Percy was telling his tale to anyone who would listen, their Knight-Commander had a Chantry Brother bending her ear. A few days after they had fled Surana had been watching Sophie at the keep while her brothers were busy with their tutors. Teagan and his wife had been busy entertaining. No one in the keep had found out both Surana and Sophie were gone until much later in the day.

She had gone through Redcliffe out of necessity. During the quick trip through Surana had been followed by the unfamiliar Brother and two others who appeared to be mercenary hirelings. Wanting to stay ahead of pursuit from Teagan, she’d raced away but the party had caught up to her on the road north. Surana had been wary to begin with but questions about Anders and Fenris had made her very suspicious of them.

Surana claimed luck and surprise allowed her to escape with both her and Sophie unharmed. She was often underestimated because of her race and her small stature. Her pursuers had followed her into the Bannorn but she hadn’t actually seen them for days. Knowing that they were headed north to Highever it was a simple matter to keep heading in that direction until she had felt the taint within him.

“I don’t think Hawke will have a problem with letting you join us,” Anders said after she’d finished speaking. “Fenris?”

“He won’t,” said Fenris confidently. “I am not opposed either despite the added hunters that will no doubt be chasing us. Tell me Surana, where are you planning to go after your baby is born?”

“I haven’t gotten that far,” she sighed tiredly. “I just wanted to get to Anders. I know you can deliver the baby and you won’t hand Sophie over to the Templars or haul me back to Vigil’s Keep. I suppose I’ll have to find a small village somewhere.”

“I have delivered many babies but none since I was blinded,” said Anders frowning. “I might need help.”

“I will help you,” said Fenris sinking down beside him. He felt a hand at his shoulder. “There is time before that becomes an issue. Would you consider staying with us?”

“I don’t really have anywhere to go,” Surana said. “There is safety in numbers but…we’d have twice as many pursuing us.”

“What are you thinking Fenris?” Anders asked curiously.

“I will explain when Hawke returns,” Fenris said firmly.

Anders nodded and said, “When will Hawke and Varric return?”

“They should be back before nightfall,” Fenris said. “Until then perhaps Gabe and I should go bring the horses into the barn.”

“Can I ask her something first?” Gabe said from directly behind him. His voice was even, completely without the usual anger or derision.

“Sure,” Surana said sounding puzzled.

“Would her parents really have turned her over?” he asked his voice still even.

Anders turned slightly, wishing he could see a facial expression for the first time in a long while.

“Yes,” said Surana sadly. “After what happened to his nephew during the blight Teagan wouldn’t have taken any chances despite my presence.”

“Her Mama?” Gabe asked with a note of desperation.

“She would have agreed with Teagan,” she said. “Belinda didn’t seem to care about Sophie all that much.”

“Mama knew,” said Gabe his voice shaking slightly. “She told me…when her eyes looked like his. There’s magic in our blood, she knew…told me to watch…not let them get us. Why would her parents do that?”

“They’re taught to fear us by the Chantry. My father locked me in the cellar,” Anders said softly. “The Templars led me off in chains.”

“I don’t remember my parents,” Surana said. “All I remember is the Tower.”

“Mama wasn’t scared…she knew. She wouldn’t have sent either of us away.”

Anders heard Gabe’s heavy footsteps heading for the front door and Fenris’ lighter steps following moments later. “It would be best if you stayed in this room,” he said confidently. “Try to stay away from the windows.”

The door opened and closed moments later and Surana sighed. “Does he always do that?” she asked sounding a little annoyed.

“The slight bossiness or the mysterious I’ll tell you later?” he asked with a smirk.

“Both,” she replied irritably.

“Fenris doesn’t say anything until he’s ready unless he’s angry,” Anders said soothingly. “He gets bossy when he’s worried.”

“There’s plenty to worry about,” Surana said softly. “I’m sorry about adding to your problems.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Anders as he crawled over to where she sat. “How far along are you Neria?”

“Far enough that none of my dresses fit right,” said Neria. She shuffled around and added cheerfully, “Let’s get the prodding over with.”

Anders heard Tuck and Sophie moving across the room as he searched for Surana in front of him. His hands found her side and he moved her shirt out of the way. Her leggings were laced loosely over the gentle swell of her abdomen and he pushed them down slightly. Anders pressed gently searching for the top of her womb and sent out small tendrils of magic.

“Can you feel it moving yet?” he asked absently while he scanned the baby his magic had found.

“Not yet but I expect to soon,” she replied.

“The baby seems okay,” Anders said after a moment. He pulled her shirt back down and scooted away to sit with his legs crossed. “I’d say around fifteen or sixteen weeks. How long have you known Neria? Why didn’t you say anything when we were in Redcliffe?”

“I’ve known for almost two months now,” Surana said softly. “I didn’t say anything because I’ve been keeping it secret. Can we talk about this later?”

“Your eyes look funny,” a girl’s voice said boldly nearby.

“They do,” Anders said with a small smile. He nodded once and turned in the direction of her voice. “You must be Sophie.”

“Are you gonna help Nana when my sister or brother is ready to come out?” she asked apprehensively.

“I’ll do my best,” he said calmly.

“Come on Sophie,” Surana said affectionately. “Let’s get a snack and get you settled for a nap.”

“I miss Daddy,” Sophie said quietly as they walked away.

“I miss him too,” said Surana sadly.

Anders sighed heavily as Tuck sunk down next to him. “So,” he said softly into the silence that followed. “When did it happen?”

“The morning after we got there,” Tuck said in a small worried voice. “Are you…mad at me?”

“A little,” he admitted evenly. “I’m flattered you cared enough to tell her what you saw though.”

“I thought maybe she could help,” said Tuck sounding embarrassed. His voice turned a little bitter as he continued. “I’m sorry Gabe made it worse again.”

“He’s got plenty of his own problems to deal with,” Anders sighed. “We need to be patient. He isn’t making it easy though. What did he say about you staying with us?”

“I don’t think he liked it much,” Tuck said after a sigh. “Gabe will stay with me though.”

“Good,” said Anders. “At least you’ll be together.”

It would also give them the time they needed to earn his trust.


	34. Chapter 34

Gabe didn’t complain about helping bring in the horses. He wore his customary scowl throughout but watched the surrounding wilderness as much as Fenris did. Fenris hadn’t seen any sign of Surana’s possible pursuers but he remained watchful as he thought. Gabe had been furious. It wasn’t the same type of anger that he’d grown accustomed to from him. It was a white hot outrage that Surana had taken Sophie from her parents. Outrage had quickly turned to confusion. Surana’s sadness had been obviously real.

Fenris wondered what Gabe knew about their parents that Tuck didn’t. How did their mother know that her children had magic in their blood? He thought back to his first encounter with Gabe. The boy had been angry that Tuck had been spirited away not frightened because his brother was a mage.

“Was your mother a mage?” Fenris asked softly as they led the last two horses into the barn.

“No,” he replied tersely.

“How did she know?” said Fenris.

Gabe glared at him for a moment and remained silent. Fenris suppressed a sigh and led the horse into a stall. They hauled water from the well and filled the troughs. Both were silent and watchful throughout the process. It wasn’t until they were heading to the large doors before Gabe heaved a sigh.

“It came from Father,” Gabe said quietly. His voice turned bitter and he turned to face Fenris. “That’s what _she_ told me.”

“Tuck has told us your father was a knight,” Fenris said calmly. “Are you sure she wasn’t lying?”

“Father _was_ a knight,” said Gabe. “I don’t think she was lying, not about that. I knew the sisters watched Tuck and me a little more than the others. The Templars too. What she said…it made sense. His father was a Templar, his mother a mage in the Circle.”

Questions filled Fenris’ mind but he simply nodded instead of voicing any of them. It was a good sign that Gabe had revealed that little bit. Pressing for more information would likely cause him to close up again. “Let’s get these doors closed.”

Gabe turned without replying. The doors were left cracked open a tiny bit and they crossed to the house. The destroyed orchard was still empty, the road devoid of travelers. Fenris closed the door behind them and looked around. Anders and Surana were on the far side of the room sitting beside the sleeping girl and talking quietly. Tuck sat next to them and Gabe sank down next to him. Fenris stood by a front window to watch and wait.

The sun was setting when Hawke and Varric entered the yard and Fenris went to meet them. When their horses had been placed safely in the barn they were introduced to Surana. That conversation went as Fenris had expected it to. Hawke readily agreed to let Surana and Sophie travel with them. Now that all of the children were asleep Fenris sat in a loose circle with them, Anders close on one side and Surana sitting opposite him. He explained his idea, hoping the mages would both agree.

The addition of the Hero of Ferelden could only be good for the community he hoped to create. She was a mage who had done amazing things, sticking to her morals while accomplishing the seemingly impossible. Surana would be a wonderful role model for the next generation of mages. Sophie and the child Surana carried presented a problem for Fenris’ plan. Not all young mages would have a convenient watcher like Tuck did. He wasn’t sure how to solve this problem or several others he’d thought of since speaking with Hawke about it.

“Sort of like…a school,” Surana said after a thoughtful pause. “Teaching the next generation to trust in one another.”

“The mages are taught to use their magic, to resist temptations, and non-mages are taught what to watch for,” Anders said slowly. “All are taught about the dangers…but without the fear.”

“I like it,” she said smiling. “What sort of leadership structure did you have in mind? How will this community support itself? Where are we going to end up?”

“I’m not sure,” Fenris said. “I was hoping we could…pool ideas.”

“Isabela probably knows a good spot,” Hawke said excitedly. “Raiding can augment natural resources until we can figure some of this out. There’s plenty of time to come up with a good leadership structure. For now it won’t matter much with only three students…hopefully three students.”

“Gabe has agreed to stay with Tuck,” Anders said.

“Good,” said Hawke in relief. “We’ll have time we need with him.”

“If we can stay ahead of our pursuers there will be plenty of time aboard Isabela’s ship for discussion,” said Fenris smiling.

Anders took his hand and smiled. “You’ve put quite a bit of thought into this. I’m sure we can all figure the rest out.”

Fenris squeezed his hand and smiled. After a short discussion of immediate plans, Varric pulled Surana aside and they began speaking quietly. Hawke took his place by the window for first watch and Fenris led Anders to the room they had claimed the night before. He wanted to speak with the mage alone.

“Do you approve?” Fenris asked hesitantly when the door was shut.

“It’s a good idea Fenris,” Anders said warmly. “It gives everyone a chance. Without being taught their magic is a sin and taught about the dangers of blood magic and demons rationally…watched over by people who love us. We have a chance at building a future.”

His hand fluttered up Fenris’ arm and over his shoulder, coming to rest on his cheek. Anders leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips. Fenris wrapped his arms around the mage’s waist and pulled them closer together. Anders hummed happily when Fenris kissed him, hands moving into Fenris’ hair as the kiss slowly deepened. Cautiously Fenris let his hands descend.

Anders broke the kiss and smiled. “Yes please,” he said softly. His fingers found an ear and Fenris claimed his lips again.

Hands slid along flesh as clothes were discarded, exchanging kisses. Fenris gently opened him, kept the pace slow as he thrust into him. Afterwards they snuggled together under their blankets. Fenris was awake after Anders slept peacefully. Their future was full of hard work and worry. Anders would likely be hunted for the rest of his life for destroying the Chantry in Kirkwall. He was grateful the gap it had caused between them had closed.

Morning would come and they would press on to Highever. He was hopeful that they could stay ahead of the three pursuing Surana. They would stick to side roads on the way and abandon them altogether when necessary to stay away from Redcliffe soldiers. Anders would continue teaching Tuck, likely with Surana’s help. Their brief conversation in the barn was encouraging that Gabe would eventually trust him enough to purge his problems.

Fenris fell asleep smiling, happy and hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to everyone who stuck with me. I'm sorry if it seems abrupt but I've known this one was about finished for a while now. I might come back to these guys later and tuck in some of the loose threads I've left. Again, thanks for reading. =)


End file.
